Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's all hope and change for straight dudes only

The inauguration is coming and with it comes more news from the Obama camp about how the only people that really matter are dudes, straight dudes.

First comes Rick Warren, professional homophobe and woman hater. He's giving the invocation at the inauguration. He thinks that abortion is a holocaust, which makes women like me Nazis. I guess I should get to sig heiling right quick.

He also hates teh gays. You know they are trying to corrupt the good clean youth of America with their dirty ass sex and liberal views. Or something. He thinks that gay marriage is as evil as rape. As a woman who was raped, I can tell you that there is a world of difference between the happy champagne toast of a committed couple and being pinned under a drunken lead singer who thinks it's cute when you cry and scream "No!". Not the same thing at all. Really.


Obama says he disagrees with Warren on these issues and he is just trying to bring some unity to the country. Unity for straight dudes only I'm thinking, since the person Obama has put in charge of writing his inauguration speech is none other than boob grouping, drunk face book star Jon Favreau.

Sweet. I wonder if Favreau can work in some funny sexist jokes about how us dumb bitches don't know what's good for us. Can't we see the Obama is the change we've been waiting for? Change from having control over our own bodies restricted, change from being the sex class, change from marginalizing people bases on anatomy or sexual preferences?

From inauguration day forward, America is going to be a different place, a better place, if you have a penis and you sleep with women. But for the rest of us, it looks a hell of a lot like the last 8 years.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Positive Thought Bullets

All right peeps, RQ needs some helpful thinking.

I just submitted my resume for my dream job (working to get low income people into affordable home ownership through a community land trust).

And this job, my little friends, comes with benefits. And decent pay.

So I need you all to band together and think happy thoughts for me. I want this job, I am SOOOOOOOOOOO qualified for this job, and I need this job. But the job market is ugly right now.

Since I've tweaked my resume and written the best letter of interest ever, I now must wait, not so patiently, for a call or email. I need you peeps to help make the call happen. Think happy.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The invisible hand needs to be slapped

Those fricken capitalists will tell you (even when all things prove otherwise) that the invisible hand of the market keeps corruption from happening because if a merchant keeps his thumb on the scale then people will shop elsewhere.

Except, we don't live in tiny hamlets where the guy who grows the tomatoes is the same guy selling the tomatoes at the public market. Word of mouth on consumer goods doesn't actually work in a global market where prices are set long before goods get to the supermarket and you can't go spy on your neighbors farm to see if he's trying to sell meat from downer cows.

Case in point: a New Jersey man is now facing jail time for price fixing canned tomatoes. The dude basically bribed wholesale buyers' reps into paying more for goods and buying from his company exclusively.

But how can we regular people know that the price of tomatoes went up because some asswipes were making a personal profit shafting us? We can't be at the canning factory meetings. We aren't privy to the buyer's luncheons where sellers woo clients with cash bribes. We just go to the grocery store and discover that canned spaghetti sauce is now twice as expensive.

And this doesn't just apply to tomatoes. It applies to oil and plywood and health care. Think about that the next time some libertarian fuckwad bitches about government interference. And then offer him a lovely salad of downer cow beef carpaccio and ecoli spinach with price fixed beefsteak tomatoes. When he ends up in the hospital and his insurance has decided it wasn't enough of an emergency situation to warrant their paying for the out of network fees, ask him how that invisible hand is working for him.

Workers of the World Unite!

The Republic Windows and Doors workers who locked themselves in the factory to get their back pay and benefits have won!

I wonder if i should stage my own little sit in at the lab here?

RQ Cooks- Buffalo Chili

After reading my little food post from the other day, Ruth went to the grocery store and bought chili makings (I've been promising her chili for awhile). Sweet!

Anyways- Ruth has all sorts of food allergies including beef, most legumes, and bell peppers. Which makes chili kinda hard. So this is the non allergic Ruth version.

Half pound to a pound of ground buffalo
1 Anaheim pepper- chopped
1 poblano pepper- chopped
2 large onions- chopped
lots and lots of chopped garlic (I used an entire head)
3 cans of black soy beans, rinsed and drained
2 large cans of chopped tomatoes
salt, pepper, chili powder, cayenne, a tiny bit of cummin
a splash of apple cider vinegar

In a large skillet, sweat onions and garlic
add meat and brown
add peppers and cook for just a few minutes.

Throw everything into a large crock pot (Thanks Tobes!)including beans and undrained tomatoes and splash of cider.

Season as you like (remember that chili powder intensifies as you cook it) Set to low and cover

Leave overnight. No really- I cook this chili on low for up to 24 hours. The longer it cooks the more the flavors marry and deepen.

It also works with ground beef, or black beans, or kidney beans or no meat (where I put in some corn and extra veggies for fun). You can get creative and use some adobo sauce to get a really deep smokey sweet flavor to the chili. Or if you are too lazy to figure out your own spices- throw in a jar of your favorite salsa.

Serve with copious amounts of cheese.I'm also making homemade garlic tortilla chips to go with this.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I <3 Dee Dee Myers

Myers (former Clinton Press Secretary- remember when press secretary didn't equal dancing clueless monkey assface?) on the Favreau nastiness

"I can’t stop thinking about this picture, and I confess I find it really upsetting. And, no, it’s not because I don’t have a sense of humor. I like to think I have a well-earned reputation for often irreverent, sometimes ill-advised humor. But I’m not laughing now"

And to Obama- how many of your lackeys are going to keep making sexism part of your schtick? Cause I'm bored to tears by it. Really, dudes. Bush was/is HORRIBLE for women, but at least he never treated his attempts to put us little ladies back in our barefoot and pregnant place as a humorous endeavor.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Fuck yeah!

Some of you may have heard about Republic Windows & Doors. For those who haven't, here's the short version:

Republic Windows and Doors went out of business, giving their employees only 3 days notice instead of the federally required 60 days. Then it came out that Bank of America, the great socialist institution known recently for getting a piece of the cushy federal bailout, told the company that they wouldn't extend their credit so they could pay the workers the 60 days of wages plus back vacation and sick pay that was owed to them.

So the workers took over the factory and refused to leave until they got their pay. Yay! Workers of the world unite!

But now the state of Illinois is refusing to do business with Bank of America until the extend the credit and pay the workers. From Il governor:

On the one hand, powerful special interest get the money to bail them out, the banks, and yet the purpose of that money was supposed to be to provide a line of credit to businesses like this to keep workers working and keep people employed, and yet the Bank of America has yet to step up and say they're going to be helpful to this company

Hey BofA- you fuckers! Please eat shit and die. And to the Republic workers, I am right there with ya.

Home Economics- the great big time suck

I had one of the most happy making phone conversations today with Ruth.


Me: Hey sugar plumb! What's up?

Ruth: Do you want leftover veggie stew for dinner?

Me: Oh hell yes!

Ruth: Ok, I'm going to pick up some rice. Oh you need rice for fried rice too, don't ya?

Me: Oh yeah.

Ruth: Do you need anything else?

Me: A winning lottery ticket. Oh and soda. I will clean the nastiest thing in the world for you if you buy me soda.

Ruth: Sure thing.

Now this may sound like a simple conversation between roomies who happen to like each other, but for me this is the first time since I was little that the day to day responsibility of dinner isn't always mine. And Ruth has an esp like sense for when dinner is just too much for me to deal with.

Dinner seems like a simple thing. People gotta eat. They like to eat. But feeding yourself (and a growing boy-man, and often a large hairy boyfriend) is not exactly simple. Especially when you are super poor. I probably spend an hour everyday just planning for meals.

First- there's the money part. Ok so I have $40 bucks till the 15th, I also have $13 on a Safeway giftcard, but Safeway is an hour out of the way by bus, plus I need an extra $3.75 to get there and back (by bus). Let's see, $40. I need 8 days worth of dinners plus breakfast and lunch for the weekend. That's $5 a day. Not gonna make it on that. Fuck. So let's see what I can do that will get us close.

Second- What have we already got? There's a leftover ham bone in the freezer. $2 worth of split peas and you've got soup. That's 2 dinners. There is the dregs of a pork roast (mainly fat with a bit of crackly bits in it). If Ruth buys rice then I just need a couple of bucks worth of veggies and we've got fried rice. That will only do one dinner. But we've got 3 down and I'm at about $10 bucks. Oh and there's frozen chicken enchiladas in the freezer. That's 4 dinners. And leftover veggie stew tonight. That's 5.

And that is as far ahead as i can think right now. And I'm ignoring one big problem. I need lunch and caffeine. Ugh!!!!!!!!!

Now having money makes this problem only slightly better. You still have to spend way too much time thinking about, planning, and shopping for food. It is tedious. Yet it is a job that most women do everyday for their families without anyone giving a second thought to the time and effort that goes into it. I mean we eat every day. Something that you do everyday shouldn't be that difficult. But I have been known to snap when the Kid asks me for the millionth time at 3pm "What's for dinner?"

Sometimes, I just want to live in a world where food shoots magically out of a tube and no one ever has to do dishes or scrub pots. In lieu of that I would like credit reflected in my social security check when I am older for all the hours that I have spent ensuring that the next generation doesn't die of malnutrition. Just cause it's women's work doesn't mean it's not real work.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Reality crashes head on into the internet

Ouyang Dan asked me today if I ever imagine the voices of of bloggers while I read them. Sometimes I do, if they have a particularly strong and personal writing style, but not always.

It turns out OD does hear voices (hahahaha) and that my writing voice is very stern and serious.


In real life- I sound like Minnie Mouse on crack. Or at least I think so. I spent years as a wee girl in speech therapy because i was so nervous when speaking that my voice would squeak and they were afraid I'd break a vocal cord if I kept talking that high. I'm not, by any means, a nervous speaker now, but my voice still sounds like a little girl's. Which is one of the reasons for the smoking and drinking, I'm trying to get a boozey, raspy, grown up sound to my voice.

So peeps- what about you would shock us on the internet?

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

You've prolly already seen it

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

But I love Alison Janey as a sodomizing prop 8 proponent! And The Kid looks like a miniature Jack Black.

Not. Here. For. Your. Viewing. Pleasure!

A letter sent to Dan Savage at the Stranger (yes- Savage is a doochenozzle):

I was wondering if you or any of your readers could exaplin why so many women are so defensive with compliments.

I've on several occasions been at the store and have seen some very nice looking women of all size, shapes, color, age, I think you get what I'm so meaning, and I've said to them you have great hips, or other tastefully ways of complimenting them and it seems that a lot of them are offended by it. Now I'm a guy who really likes women, Period, I'm happily married 30 yrs. And my wife and I both flirt and expect it to go no further and if it is invited by the one flirted to we kindly decline as has happened only once to each of us and we flirt even when with each other. We mean no harm in this and we feel if someone is looking at the one your with they must be pretty good + you should be happy about it. We have often complimented the same sex as we are and see nothing wrong with it but it's all the same.

If anyone can answer this it would be appreciated. Enjoy your work.


Here's the thing Roy, women were not put on earth for you to oggle. Our sole reason for existence is not to be fucked. Actually, we spend a whole shitload of our lives doing other things.

So when you go out of your way to creepily leer at some woman and then get offended when she thinks you're a misogynistic asswipe for "complimenting" her by letting her know exactly which part of her body you are going to use for wank fodder later, you're the wrong one. Not the woman who is acting rationally to a strange dude turning her into body parts to rub one out to.

And this holds true to you fuckwads who think you are being friendly when you tell women you don't know to "smile". I have a very carefully crafted, stompy city girl walk and scowl that I do JUST so I don't accidentally encourage unwanted attention from every shitface on the street who wants to comment on my tits or ass. I am not smiling because I don't want you to think that I like you. It's a conscious thing, my not smiling.

I have never, not even once, gone out with, flirted with, or given my number to, a random wankstain who thought that "complimenting" me as a stranger was the way to my heart. I don't know any women who have. So let's end that little fallacy now. "Complimenting" strange women is viewed by most of us as the threatening behavior of a dude who wants to wear our skin later. So stop it.

Change you can dip your milquetoast in

Is this parochialism, this timorousness and lack of imagination, inevitable in a period like our own, when the unknown looms menacingly and one natural reaction is certainly to draw back, to find refuge in the familiar? Here, the New Deal years can be instructive.

Neo anythings have not yet proven themselves to be good. NeoCons are simply old Cons who want even less responsibility for the messes they create. NeoLibs are no better, having been slapped silly by the invisible hand of the market into believing in it's all powerful righteousness.

So why is Obama so keen on replaying old broken NeoLib records? If shock doctrine capitalism is really the most effective weapon of economic change, why can't we use NOW to New Deal ourselves into more stable and just future? Why are we going to go back to methods that have gotten us into this problem to begin with? Why is a man so determined to be audacious so timid when it comes to real audacity?

We need a New Deal. We need the income inequality between the vast numbers of us and the tiny numbers of them (with money & power) to be fixed. We need jobs. And healthcare. And education. And to fix the environment and the banking system and so much more.

So what's with the same old same old from the Obama camp? Why are we using some of the architects of the current crisis to fix the problems they created (and that many refuse to acknowledge were even problems to begin with).

Monday, December 01, 2008

How Bloggers Waste Time- Misandry Edition

me: I'm doing yoga on the lama's mat- whatcha gonna do about it

Ouyang: i'm gona send the walgreen's police to repo your plan b
whoa...the links are blue and you turned off comment mod?

me: yep
but I didn't know about the blue links

Ouyang: i think the already clicked ones...cuz i click all your links

me: awe
you lurve my links

Ouyang: wow...i left a link to a nikol hassler piece in that post of yours
but now i just found a screed about MTSS from a town hall site
it's terrible
it still refers to Jane fonda as "hanoi jane"

me: really- I need terrible to rage at today

go get 'em tiger!

Ouyang: vagina worshipping devils we all!

me: hell yes
my vag should be worshipped. I do kegels after all

Ouyang: me too!
shit...i am late for my twice daily abortion!

me: I got kung fu pussy grip baby
twice- shit I do it three times a day when I'm brushing my teeth
though it is getting harder to schedule around all the castration ceremonies

Ouyang: i know...such a tight schedule

me: it's like I don't have enough time for me anymore, what with the lesbian orgies and the domineering bitch classes

Ouyang: the castrations are just too much...must we keep doing them?

me: Until we can find a way to stop having boy babies, I fear they must continue

Ouyang: damn...someone get central and south asia on the line...i hear they got the ins on gender based infantcide

me: yes, but then you're just going to have Angelina Jolie types running around adopting white male babies to save them from their horrible fates.
And that totes ruins our plan of ending men forever

Ouyang: damn them
and their baby collecting obsessions

me: I know

Ouyang: well...i guess we can't win for trying
we will just have to keep selling misandry

me: We could abandon the castrating and just make them all slaves.
Think very Planet of the Apes men in lion clothes
not lion
that would be weird
I can just see a big hairy mane where thier package should be

Ouyang: i like where you are going w/ this

me: Yes

me: I'm thinking that since they are SOOOOO sure that men must do manly work, we should make them all shovel out sewers and work in slaughter houses. That should make them feel better
No prissy thinking jobs for them. That's women's work!

Ouyang: there ya go!

Dear Walgreens:

Please inform your pharmacists that they cannot make up laws to keep women from trying to buy Plan B from your stores.

I have been a long time Walgreens cutsomer. It's been at least 5 years since I've had a prescription filled anywhere else actually. And even though the asshole pharmacist was in Mississippi and I am in Washington (where, ftr, Hot Pharmacist has NEVER given me a hard time about picking up birth control, Plan B, or valium for that matter) I refuse to support companies that will not support my right to control my own body. Just ask Target how long it took for me to go back to shopping there after their own little birth control problems.

So Walgreens, you need to get on a writing up a national store policy on how to treat customers looking to buy Plan B (here's a hint, treat em just like customers trying to buy anything else) and bring the smack down on moralizing pharmacists who try to make up their own laws on waiting periods. Or I am done. I don't care how dark and luscious Hot Pharmacist is.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Carbfest 08

It's that time of year again. Turkey time.

I am not one for most great American holidays. I'd rather spend the 4th of July in another country. And Thanksgiving, as a homage to the founders of this country pisses me off. Yeah you wanna celebrate the coming together of Natives and Europeans you fuckers, kiss my ass.

Except, every single holiday I had with my family as a child was horrible. My mother would turn what was supposed to be a happy gathering into a nightmare of pain for me. There was never a Christmas or Thanksgiving where I didn't end up in tears, hiding in my bedroom and wishing I was dead. We won't even go into how many years my birthday was either flat out forgotten or just plain ignored (I made myself a hot dog bun with grape jelly on it and a candle one year, just cause I knew I wasn't getting cake).

When I became an adult, I tried to remedy that. First I started by hiding at a friend's house. But a few years ago, right before I stopped speaking to my mother, I decided that I was going to make my own Thanksgiving. NO ONE was going to cry or feel the need to hide in their room. I have dinner late enough that friends who have family in town can eat their family meals at 2 or 3 or 5 and still make it to my civilized dinner time of 8. There would be booze and music and fabulous food and it would be a party. Because the one thing I am most thankful for in the world are the awesome friends I have that almost make up for my orphan status and I want them to have damn good time.

Then I met Ruth. We bonded over a college government class with THE MOST AWESOME INSTRUCTOR EVER! She has all these food allergies that make it impossible to cook for her (impossible- hah!) and at the time had a vegan hubby. So we have done Thanksgiving together for the last 4 years and I managed to learn how to make a giant dinner that the meat eaters, the vegans, the veggies, the celiacs, and anyone else who just can't eat things because they will die can enjoy.

I love the challenge. I love that these people who spend so much of their lives trying to work around what everyone else is eating can just come into my house and know that they are safe. And then they can get to the real reason I cook, the ego stroking ohing and ahing and "Oh MY God this is the best thing I ever put in my mouth" sounds.

Carbfest (as Thanksgiving is called in my house) is a party. Someone once described it as the most beautiful, tasty food ever served by barefoot bohemians. I think that does it. I stress about the day. It's expensive. It's a lot of hard work. I worry every year that no one will show up (shhhh- I am not admitting to momentary bouts of self doubt). But no one has ever cried, or felt left out, or been treated unkindly during my holiday fete. That is miles away from my childhood.

So tomorrow I will be cooking up dinner for 15ish people, with more people coming for dessert and drinks after. Ruth and I are now roomies, so this is the first year that we will be cooking the whole thing together. She's working the grill to make some damn fine roast veggies, Bernard is making oysters rockafeller, and I got a 22 pound turkey waiting to be soaked in a liter of wine.

No one will fight, no one will cry, no one will have to hide (unless they are just too drunk to deal with the barefoot bohemians). And when my kid grows up, family-ish holidays won't be something to fear, but something fun and awesome to look forward to.


A fantastic yet possibly true story

So I was sleeping last night with the puppy hogging the entire fucking bed. But wevs, I was asleep.

And then I wasn't asleep. Because the power kept going on and of and on and off and every time it did either, my cell phone would beep at me (it was plugged into the wall and charging). So I am woken up by my phone beeping and the most bizarre scratching, rubbing, chewing, noisy movement coming from the attic space behind my closet.

So I laid there for many many hours. At first I was convinced that there is a squatter living in our attic. But the more I listened, the more I became sure of what the noise was.

My friends, there is a masturbating bear living in my attic, and every time he rubs one out he messes with the electrical lines. If you heard this noise, you would say "ahhh it does sound exactly like a masturbating bear".

The Puppy and Bernardo both seem to think it's either rats or raccoons. Rats are easy enough to deal with, raccoons are another matter. These are urban raccoons, they come packing heat. The Puppy (since he owes me big time for opening his mouth and saying some incredibly stupid shit yesterday) has agreed to go into the attic tonight and take on the bear/raccoon/rat problem.

Wish him luck. I think a masturbating bear would be alot easier to deal with than a ghetto raccoon with a handgun.

PUMAs and Prop 8- a study in similarities

So it seems I am not making a clear point when it comes to the black vote and prop 8, so I thought I would use an example we are ALL familiar with.

Imagine that you have a group of liberals who want people to vote a certain way on something. These liberals are the top of the privilege heap, white, educated, decidedly not poor or struggling. And they figure that with a few threats and comparisons they make their point perfectly clearly- voting the way I want you to is in your best interest, so you better do it.

Except, for a certain proportion of the population, that message doesn't ring true. For many of us, it wasn't good enough that Obama was better than McCain (marginally) on abortion when he was more than willing to use misogyny as a campaign tactic. For African Americans, perhaps the comparison to interracial marriage and equal rights wasn't strong enough to overcome the pull of their churches and long held belief systems (that in fact have a very pragmatic reason for existing when you consider eugenics and slavery, etc).

For those of us who didn't vote for Obama, the Roe V Wade arguments and the "stupid bitches don't know what's good for them" talk didn't make us MORE likely to vote for Obama. Quite the contrary. So perhaps painting the entire black population of California as bigoted idiots who need to be schooled on human rights isn't the best way to get them to come around to gay marriage.

We were all asked "What would it take for you to vote for Obama?" But we haven't asked the black community what they need to comfortable with gay marriage. Do they need more liberal pastors, do they need more guarantees that their bodies and their children's bodies will be safe from harm so that they don't have to worry about attempts to wipe out their population (and we have tried to wipe them out, see crack, the fact that black women lose custody of their children to the foster system more often than white women, the schools to prison pipelines in black neighborhoods, the lack of living wage employment for black men).

Perhaps once we start addressing the black community as a whole, they will not feel so threatened by a part. Perhaps if Obama had addressed women as more than wombs with claws and crying streaks, we would have voted for him.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008

Cultural Affectations

The puppy and I had this conversation not so long ago. He was bothered by gay men that adopt high pitched, femmey voices. He doesn't care that they are gay, but he didn't like that they were forcing their voices to do something that they wouldn't naturally do. I asked him if he had a problem with black men wearing baggy pants too, and he said yes. Then he put on his Captain's hat (we were about to go sailing).

"So what if I said I hate your hat, I think it's a fake costume you wear to assume authority". He didn't quite catch my meaning. I asked him what his captain's hat does for him that a normal hat wouldn't. "Well, when I am teaching it marks me out as the instructor and makes it easier for students to know who is in charge".

"So it's a cultural affectation you have adopted that makes it easier for you to get by in your world?"

"Yes" he said.

At which point I explained where baggy pants come from. They started out with men in prison who were given pants to big but no belts to hold them up. Once they came out of prison, that style of dress marked them out as someone who had been to prison and was therefore tougher than someone who hadn't. In a community rife with violence, anything you can do to appear stronger adds a layer of protection from that violence. When you have a community, like the AA community, where over 30% of men will at some point end up incarcerated, that affection is going to spread quickly. It is a behavior they adopt because it helps them survive in the world.

The same thing is true for gay men with fey speech patterns. It is a behavior they adopt to get by in the world.

Now let's look at why the AA community might be a bit less likely to embrace LGBT rights.

Perhaps, when you have a community where young, eligible men are scarce, perhaps because 30% are in prison and another 30+% are un or under-employed, and where there is a history of white people controlling black women's bodies with eugenics or slavery (or welfare or any number of things we use to keep poor blacks poor), people in that community might not readily embrace people who will not be reproducing.

And they might have valid, practical reasons for not wanting to let another oppressed group advance. They are not unlike poor racist whites or working class cat callers.

So we whites can pat ourselves on the back all we want cause our side didn't quite vote to remove gay marriage in the numbers that blacks in California did. We can wag fingers, we can sigh loudly, we can tisk tisk. But it ain't gonna change a damn thing. You want to talk about Black communities homophobia, first you gotta talk about the millions of ways whites have made black lives worth less to begin with and why blacks might not be so quick to jump on the bandwagon for gay marriage.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Prop 8 & The Black Vote

The Puppy and I have been having this ongoing debate about how "the black vote for Prop 8 is what tanked gay marriage". Please notice the quotes on that. Not my opinion.

So let's look at some numbers.

The Black vote in CA makes up 10% of the total vote. 70% of Black voters voted for Prop 8. That's 7% of the total vote.

White voters make up about 31 to 32% (edited because RQ is sucking at math today) 63% of the vote. Approximately half (53% of white men, 47% of white women) voted for Prop 8. That's about 30% of the total vote.

That is more than 4 times the percentage of Blacks who voted for Prop 8.

Can we all shut up with the racism now? Whites were/are just as guilty for not supporting gay marriage.

Conversations with the Kid- Economics version

Kid: Mom- is Obama good for the economy of bad for the economy?

Me: Don't know yet, though from what his plans are he's not good enough.

Kid: Is he better than McCain

Me: Yes, but the economy is so bad that just being better isn't enough.

Kid: Can Obama make the economy worse

Me: Definitely. It's one of the biggest problems I have with him. He may not do enough fast enough. And by doing that he could make it worse.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

OuyangDan Made Me Do It!

Cause she's full of evil like that.

So I have won this awardy thing. And in the spirit of awardy-ness I must pass it on.

Of course, as with every Bloggy Award, there are A Few Rules. They are, forthwith:

* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Now that the formalities are out of the way, on to the good stuff.

I pass this award on to:

Carissa at Blue Lyon, who I wanna grow up to be like someday.

Redstar who shares my love of feminism and swarthy boys.

Lost Clown from Angry for a Reason cause we both tried to put the Green Party at over 5% this year.

Annabelle at Peacocks and Lilies (who is technically on vacation) cause she makes my head all explodey (in a good way)

And Julie the Girl Detective who should write more cause when she does she's awesome.

You peeps are the reason I keep writing. So you might as well be rewarded (awarded) for it.

Am I the only person

Who wants Hillary to stay away from the Secretary of State position.

Not that I think she would be bad as SOS. Quite the contrary, I think she would rock that position like no one else. She'd put Condi and Colin and Madeline to shame in under 3 minutes.

But to be SOS, she would lose the thing that makes her super awesome. She would no longer be an advocate for average, ordinary, American people. She would lose autonomy. She would no longer serve the will of the people, but the whims of the president. She would lose any influence she might have on those domestic issues like the HOLC and health care by being shunted off into foreign policy. I want her in the Senate, advocating for us, as a (wait for it, wait for it) maverick democrat unafraid of the Precious and his cronies. I want her to keep doing exactly what she has been doing, being a thorny ally in Obama's side, reminding him about the rest of us and showing him up on economic policy.

So please HRC, remember us. Stay, fight, push us further down the road to the things we need. Don't be a fool and think that Obama will hire you for your greatness, he is hiring you to get you to shut up on the things that we need most.

Monday, November 17, 2008

It's always the mother's fault

So I was reading about this horrible murder case at Jezebel (Sorry OD!).

Nixmary Brown, a seven year old girl, was beaten to death by her step father. Her mother, who is admittedly learning disabled and was also regularly beaten by her husband and DID not beat Nixmary to death, got a prison sentence 17 years longer than the actual murderer for her part in the crime.

17 years longer and she didn't strike a blow.

Granted- she is a horrible mother. Horrible. And I know all about horrible mothers. And there are lots of things I would like to blame horrible mothers for, being the product of one myself. But.....

Let's look at this in a different, more palatable and more common way (and a way guaranteed to stir up MRA's into a furry).

If I, as a mother to my Kid, decided I wasn't going to spend a dime on feeding my child, how long would it go on before I was thrown in jail for neglect? Certainly the Kid would get 2 meals a day from school Monday through Friday. He'd live on less than 1000 calories a day during the week and just water during the weekends. He'd live, but he'd be hungry and malnourished. And I'd be a horrible parent. At the most it would take a few months for someone to report me to children's services and for the Kid to be taken away while I would be charged with criminal neglect. As I should be.

But let's look at the Kid's dad. Who owes $40,000 in back child support. That's about 10 years of unpaid child support in the stunning amount of $328 per month (less than the total of 1/4 of the rent and half the cost of the Kid's food). How long did it take for authorities to make that a criminal act, to threaten him with jail time for non-payment- 10 years. And then he didn't get actual jail time, just the threat of it. 10 years of neglect. 10 years of not feeding or clothing or housing his own child.

His non-payment is the equivalent of my not feeding the kid, but the punishments are vastly different for the same essential crime, neglect of a child.

But I am the mommy. And society holds me to a much higher standard of care than they do his father, but I am given less resources, opportunity and excuses for failure than I would be if I was a father instead of a mother. I have a smaller paycheck, higher health care costs, and the physical, emotional, and economic burden of raising the Kid alone. As did Nixmary's mother, until she married the man who murdered her daughter.

But we don't look at that. I have not once heard anyone ask "where was the girl's father?" in any of the stories I've read on this case. Where was he? Why wasn't he protecting his child? Was he paying child support, seeing his daughter regularly so he would know if she was in a safe and loving home?

But it's always the mother's fault. Fathers are given the ability to walk away from parenthood with little consequence. Mothers are not.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Assistance Por Favor!

Many of you are regular Shakesville readers. I am a junkie there. Melissa McKewan is one of the smartest writers I know, and why she doesn't have a paying gig while dimwits like Arriana Huffington and Maureen Dowd do is beyond me.

Melissa is also a huge part of the reason I got enough donations to get the Kid and I into a safe house and out of couch surfing.

She does all this, full time, for free, with no income other than donations. And she is soooooo worth the donations. She has made me a better person and a better feminist with her clear writing on ideas that had just been hazy fog in my head.

So if you are a regular Shaker- now is the time to show some love with some cash. If you aren't a regular, you should check it out. Shakesville is a harbor in the storm of assholery that is the internet for many of us.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The More You Know

For the less health care wonky out there- a pretty damn good explanation of why we need sinle payer universal healthCARE and not Obama's half-assed, non-mandate, gimme gimme to the insurance companies.

We want health care, not health insurance.

Health care is a right.

What can closing the gender gap do?

It could increase the GDP of the US by 9%.

9 fricken percent.

That's about a TRILLION dollars.

I guess that means our measly little 77 cents on the dollar really does hurt everyone, and not just our own pocket books.

Paying for what we don't want

Americans spend a hell of a lot of money paying for things we don't want, especially those of us on the left side of the country.

We paid for the hideous bailout that did nothing (and will be paying more, just you wait)

We pay for the prison industrial complex, the military industrial complex, the Iraq war. We pay farm subsidies so giant agri-business farmers can pump us full of genetically modified corn. We pay for executions and Guantanamo bay and Kangaroo courts. We pay for wire-tapping and eaves dropping and torture.

So I have been thinking about Obama and health care. First, thank god for Max Baucus and Hillary, without whom Obama might easily slide universal health care under the rug.But I am also thinking about Obama's wishy washy, couldn't give a damn attitude towards choice.

In the brave new world of healthcare reform, can we finally include birth control and abortion services in our coverage. Only a few states (WA included) cover abortion under Medicaid. They figured out that it was cheaper to pay for abortions than it was to pay for unwanted children. But more than just as a cost effective measure, when do we women get to have full rights to access the healthcare we need?

We pay for things we hate all the time. I think it's about time that the wingnuts of the country had to pony up and pay for things they hate too. Like healthcare access for women. Even us dirty sluts who have sex and get pregnant and don't want to be turned into a brood mares.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Go read

or listen and cry.

The big reason why I am a feminist is that no matter what particular oppression affliction you suffer from, that oppression is ALWAYS worse for women. We can;t fix racism or classism or bigotry or abelism if we don't address the ways we continue to hurt women, here and there and everywhere.

It cannot be an either/ or fix. It must be all or nothing will ever change.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sometimes the best insight comes from assholes

Someone is giving me grief in comments for my aural abuse of metro bus passengers in defense of my kid.

And it's got me thinking.

First, I'm a girl (you peeps might have noticed) and as a girl I am often given grief for my colorful language. So anyone who wants me to shut up and take a shit sandwich with a grin pisses me off. Cussing actually has sociological value. In the work place, cuss words are used to bond employees together over shared sentiments. Which is why it's a double whammy when women are belittled for using the same kind of language as men.

But beyond that is this idea that politeness trumps humanity. Now I am a big one for manners. Manners are the little social rules that make society function. We wait our turn in lines, cover our mouths when we cough, don't spit on the sidewalks. These are behaviors we have because it makes things work better. They differ from culture to culture (in Spain line-cutting is the only way to ever get through a line). But a majority of people in a place will understand what those unwritten rules are and follow them.

However, we have taken the rules for politeness into the extreme of apathy. Much like the asshole in comments, who thinks it is better to let doochebags get away with humiliating children than to offend bus riders with a 30 second take down of said doochebag, we have let inaction become the glue that holds society apart.

And in this case, it was just a dooche picking on a kid. But in other situations, like say the woman who was raped on a train platform while the guard sat in the guard booth and watched, that inaction has caused real damage. What if someone had thrown a public tantrum at the rapist dude before he actually got to the rape point. What if he had been publicly humiliated for groping or even just ogling the woman? Might we have stopped a worse abuse? Might we have stopped some of the watchers from thinking that kind of behavior is ok.

When you humiliate people for treating others badly, you make it harder for people to treat others badly. When you stand up for people, you make it easier for others to stand up. When you sit quietly on a bus and ignore assholes, you make it that much easier for them to be assholes.

In short, when you treat people like human beings, other people will treat them as human too. This is why it's important for men to be vocal feminist allies and for whites to support people of color and for straights to push for gay marriage.

In WWII in a village in France, the local Huguenot minister treated Jews as humans. He and his congregation hid them, fed them, and kept them safe from the Nazis. The Nazis, seeing Jews treated as human beings instead of vermin, warned the minister before raids were about to take place.

When you treat people as human beings, it makes it easier for other people to treat them as human too. When you call out bullshit and hurtful behavior, you make it easier for other people to call it out too.

Inaction is not really politeness. We have to stop seeing apathy as good manners. We have to start treating people as human beings so we all can be treated as human beings. Stand up, yell at assholes, make a fuss and humiliate those who would do harm.

For Quin

Who likes jazz.

I've posted some Maria Rita videos before, but she is awesome and so i will do it again.

The Education Plan

Like Anglachel, I worry when people start talking about "disadvantaged youths". I worry especially when they talk about disadvantaged youths in the context of higher education. It often ends up being code for "shove them into programs that will continue to give them not enough to get a real education.

And even one of my favorite presidents was guilty of screwing the poor when it comes to education. Under Bill Clinton's welfare reform, poor mothers could no longer receive welfare if they were in school to get an academic degree. If they wanted to get a certificate to be a home healthcare aid (about $8 an hour) they could stay on welfare while they did it. If they wanted to get a nursing degree ($21 an hour to start) then no welfare for them. Also no food stamps or medicaid. Vocational and certificate programs almost never provide the same kind of salary that an actual degree does. And vocational educations become outdated long before a BA or BS ever does.

So Obama has a plan to get disadvantaged kids college money in exchange for community service work. (I won't even get into how we are facing high unemployment and that work might be better left to market rate pay scales for people who need to feed their families). What I wonder is why can't we just do as all other civilized countries do and pay for people to go to college? Why is higher education not a universal like primary education is? Why do we send so many people into massive debt for something that is so vital for our country?

And I have to wonder, when we are desperate for engineers and doctors and nurses, how many of those positions could be filled if those disadvantaged youths were given the ability to go to college without also needing to juggle 3 part time jobs to pay for tuition and living expenses? Adding community service requirements doesn't get them enough money to pay for school and living expenses. It just means that one of their jobs will be through the school. They will still have to supplement with waiting tables and lots of loans. And when they lose a job or the money comes up short, the first thing to go is college. When it's a choice between taking a midterm or not getting fired from the job that keeps you from being homeless, you skip the midterm. And after a week of working 40 plus hours and taking 3 full time classes, there are simply not enough hours in the week for showering or sleep, let alone homework.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

The neverending move

Yep- still moving out of the downstairs. Yep, still don't have a bed. Yep, back still fucked up.

It must end sometime, right. Right?

In the mean time I think I shall become an alcoholic.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Two things that will inspire me to public rage

Bad manners and picking on my kid.

So last night when our extremely late bus finally showed up, the bus floor was drenched with water. And slippery. The kid got halfway back and fell hard. He hurt his back. It took him a really long time to be able to get up. Everyone on the bus was quiet.

Except the one asshole at the back. Who was laughing at a little kid getting hurt. My kid getting hurt. And not a little chuckle, but a big booming bwahahahahahahahahahaha that went on forever.

Mama Lion is not pleased.

So I looked up from helping the Kid up and said "You think it's fucking funny picking on a little kid who just got hurt. Didn't your momma teach you any fucking manners you asshole"

To which the doochebag responded with "didn't yours teach you any"

"Yeah, she taught me to fucking stand up for my kid, asshole!"

At this point the dooche start muttering about how I am a "fat assed bitch". Thank god for feminism. My fat ass- not something that is really going to hurt me. However, Dooche is a giant fat man. Not a big muscley man, but a big bellied, taking up 3 seats on the bus, fat man.

So I look back and say "It ain't like you're the skinniest thing at the back of the bus asshole."

At this point one of doochebags friends says "Dude she's mad and your being a dick. Shut up".

When we got home and I finished telling the story to Ruth, I asked the Kid if he was embarrassed by my public display of rage. He said "Oh no, the guy was an asshole" (note that cuss words are earned in my family, last night the kid definitely earned one). Kid has always said that he "Loves watching my mom yell at people". I figure it's the best way I've got of teaching him to stand up for himself and for others.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

So i'm looking at the names

being trotted out for cabinet posts.

And there are (surprise!) very few women on the list. Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius appears a couple of times (what- there is only one qualified woman?) There are 9 total, with 3 of them being possible EPA heads.

So a maximum of 6 positions for women. If they get them all.

We ain't come that far yet, baby.

Now you may be wondering why would gender matter to say oh the Treasury department. See when you hire a fuckneck like Larry Summers, who thinks girls can't do math, and therefore doesn't staff the Treasury with an equitable number of women, issues like the feminization of poverty, the high rates of sub-prime mortgages pushed off onto single moms, ect. don't get heard.

We make up half the country. We need to make sure that our voice is heard along with the booming male voices that normally drown out our smaller representation.

If he's not good enough for fucking Harvard

then Lawrence Summers is most certainly NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH TO BE PART OF THE CABINET.

Seriously, appointing him is one sure fire way to remind all us vagina voters why we thought Obama was an asshole.

Things I have learned from this election

So belly button gazing election postmortem:

1) It is not enough to support a party. For the first time in my life I did not vote for the straight dem ticket. You all know that I voted for McKinney for pres. What you don't know is that I took to heart what I said about not supporting Dem men who profit from misogyny. So I voted for the pro-choice, pro-pot republican woman for our state's lieutenant governor. While I will never vote for a woman simply because she has a vagina, I will choose to support any pro-choice woman over a dem dude. Note that I said pro-choice. I won't vote against my own self interest simply because someone shares my gender (See Sarah Palin).

2) Votes are earned. Obama did not earn my vote. McCain could never have earned my vote. To all the Nader voters I bullied in 2000, I have already apologized. If Gore didn't earn your vote, he didn't earn it. To both the Obots and the McCainiacs (you know who you are) who spent the last 10 months bullying me and anyone else who wouldn't share their delusions, kindly go fuck yourself.

3) There is a lot of work ahead of us. Obama+Pelosi+Reid means that progressive values are going to be shoved in the closet. Not if I can help it. We must be loud and unruly reminders that Republican policies failed this country over and over. We most not let the spirit of bi-partisanship squash the truth. Dissent is what makes democracy work. Not blind obedience to the party elite.

4) There is no voice speaking up for the poor and working class. The middle class is what we hear all about, but it is shrinking as more and more people join the bottom ranks. Obama don't give a damn about poor people (to shamelessly steal from Kanye West) but we must make him see us.

So my little chickadees- what election wisdom have you gained? Anything profound to share with the class?

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

More it's funny cause it's true

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Dear California- Part 2

What. The. Fuck!

Seriously, you people are off the list. We forgave you for bringing us Reagan since you've been pretty good generally about social issues. But enough is enough.

You no longer get to be the proggy capital of the country. You no longer to be the bellwether of social tolerance.

You were skating on thin ice with that whole Schwarzenegger thing, but since we forgave Minnesota for the Jesse Venutura thing, we had to just raise an eyebrow at your gubernatorial choices.

But Prop 8- seriously. You passed fucking Prop 8? You are going to write NEW discrimination into your laws. Do you know what century it is?

You are off the list. Done, finished, kaput. No longer the bringers of casual style and civil liberties. You are assholes in flip flops from this point on.

That is all.

I have only just begun to fight

Last night I explained to the Puppy the difference between liberal and progressive. Obama is a liberal, I am a progressive.

The Dems need us, the progressives, to keep at them.

Last night I watched as a huge barrier to power came down in this country. This morning, as I do every morning, I took the bus back into my old neighborhood and was hit fresh in the face with all the work that still needs to be done. The bus went past the tent city in the U-District that our liberal, Democratic mayor is desperate to to get rid of without actually having to do anything for the homeless people that populate it.

I got to the Central District, and while the faces on the black men that hang around on the corners were decidedly more smiley than normal, I notice that they still don't have jobs to go to.

And I think back to the ads that kept running on CNN from AARP. The first thing Obama put on the chopping block, before he was even elected, was health care. How brilliant of AARP to run their Divided we fall commercials in between news snippets of the country turning blue all around us. Thank you for reminding me that there are many many many more battles to be fought.

And while watching Obama make his acceptance speech, I couldn't help but growl a bit when he got a too hypocritical. While i was toughed by the 106 year old black woman who got to vote, hearing Obama talk about women getting the vote grated on my nerves like sandpaper. Obama says he will be the president to everyone, not just those that voted for him. And that he will listen to the voices of his dissenters. Will he really? Will people like me, people he used as fodder for the election, people like my black neighbors who ain't got a dime in the world let alone a stake in to stock market, will we be heard? Will our needs be met? Or will we be the first sacrifice to political expediency?

I have to remember that our greatest presidents had people like me pulling at the edges to make them do the right thing. Roosevelt had the bonus marchers and the Socialists and the Anarchists to rile up the public. They were the reason that progressive policies were the rule of the day. The elites needed to make concessions to the rabble rousers.

So I have only just begun to fight.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

There was an angel who was a Maverick once...

He built his Heaven underground.

Don't Fuck This Up, America!

Get Your Girly On

I have been much heartened to see the number of McKinney voters coming out and proud today. And while I'm not gonna beat anyone up for voting for Obama, and I'm only gonna raise an eyebrow and question your intelligence for voting for McCain, I thought I should give a little prize to the Green voters out there.

So I give you Le Tigre videos.

Hot Topic (I freely admit to needing to google many of the awesome feminists they name in this song. But I do know who Vaginal Cream Davis is)


New Kicks!

Totally un-election related news

The Kid has just informed me that they make an anime version of Agatha Christie's Miss Marple Mysteries. The Kid lurves watching Miss Marple on PBS, more than any other British mystery series.

So YAY! I love that a character written by a woman, who is a smart, non-sexbot grandma who solves mysteries is now available in cartoon form for the boy to watch.

Following BlueLyon's lead

She recently wrote that she will not support any Democratic men that have profited from misogyny.

I'm taking it a step further. I will not vote for any Democratic candidate who has used, condoned, or ignored misogyny used as a campaign tactic.

So I am not voting for Jim McDermott for congress critter this time around. But the only other option is a Rethuglican.

So quick kids- who should I write in. I prefer a woman, though I am more than happy to give a shout out to feminist friendly dudes.

I go vote at 5pm. You got until 4:55 to come up with the best suggestion.

Monday, November 03, 2008

How Bloggers Waste Time- Richard Simmons Version

OuyangDan: does richard simmons really still love me?

me: yes, yes he soes

OuyangDan: oh good

me: just so you know

OuyangDan: maybe richard simmons is really The Christ

me: could be. Have you seen an image of the Richard show up in your toast?

OuyangDan: no...but there was a fatty swirl of grease from last night's pot roast that was a strange resemblence

me: there ya go. You need to start saying "Our Richard, Who are in hot pants, hallowed be thy name"

OuyangDan: thy thighs crush evil from the heads of demons

me: Yay though I may walk through the valley of chubbie I shall not fear fat

OuyangDan: for thine sweatin' to the oldies are w/ me

me: and thine calorie counters are ever present

OuyangDan: :P but nay will they judge me

me: For I am the Simmons and the Power and The Sweaty!

OuyangDan: forever and ever, amen

me: nooooo Forever and ever Raamen!

OuyangDan: Doh! I figured that was FSM specific and carbohydratically offensive to our simmons deity

A Scene from Casa Nueva

Ruth, me and the Puppy are all sitting on the couch last night

Puppy (who I tease mercilessly for being a dork): I think I finally figured something out about you.

Me: What?

Puppy: All this freedom and choice stuff you talk about is just a cover. Really you want to rule the world and you think you could do it better than everyone else. That's why you were a cheerleader and you need to be the boss.

Ruth: I totally see that!

Me: What! No! This isn't fair! Besides I would make a damn fine benevolent dictator.

Ruth: You'd make a better benevolent dictator than just about anyone, but what he said is still true.

Later that evening.....

Puppy: See everyone thinks that they would make the best leader.

Me: But I actually would. People would have way more fun AND work would still get done.

Puppy: Everyone says that.

Me: Did you have fun this weekend?

Puppy: Yes

Me: Did we get a whole lot of shit done? (note we moved a 300 pound TV between the two of us)

Puppy: Yes

Me: Point proven

Puppy: I can see Alaska from my house!

Since the Puppy has insinuated that I have the same level of qualifications as Sarah Palin to run the country (in my case, the world- I'm ambitious) I think I am going to break down the multitude of ways that coordinating this move qualifies me to be the benevolent dictator of the world.

1) The first step in world domination is land acquisition. I have certainly moved up from my little townhouse in the ghetto to the ginormous. This move required diplomatic relations with Ruth and Bernard, first in negotiating my exile from the ghetto into their bedroom. From there we needed to acquire a space big enough for real conquering to take place without any unwanted border crossings (bedroom doors that close go along way in border protection people!)

2) Money- no government can function without it. I think I did pretty well at rallying the loyal readers to raise the money for land acquisition (I/e new house fund)

3) Coordinate the invasion- well i could have been better at raising troops, but I did end up making diplomatic promises to one friend to help her move out of her 3rd story apartment in July. I also did as most leaders do and over taxed the army (i/e the Puppy) with promises of a GIANT Bonus if he played muscle man. I did in fact follow through on the bonus payment, I think that makes me better than many former presidents who promised things to the military. I also promised the youth his own WOW subscription if he helped all weekend without whining.

4) Make moving speeches: I have been doing my damnedest to make sure everyone knows just how grateful i am for all the help.

5) Delegate: See getting the Puppy to do things like move Bernard's bowflex machine up 3 flights of stairs.

So that's just the moving stuff. Additionally I've been to more countries than Sarah Palin. I've gotten to Level 12 on Know your World (Even McCain thinks we're still in a world where Czechoslovakia is a country). I've actually studied International Relations, Political Economy, macro Economics and history enough to know that current plans for saving the economy are crap.

And most importantly- I would only be ruler of the world if a majority of the world voted for me to take office. I guess that kinda does in the dictator part, but wevs.


I do not like Michelle Obama. I hated her hypocrisy in the primary, her lies about her and Barack growing up poor and her attacks on Hillary. I disliked her convoluted discourse at the DNC Convention in which she went quite a logn way to insert the racially charged "brother" and "sister" in her speech. Dogwhistling is an art, and that wasn't particularly subtle about it.

I dislike her chanelling of Jackie O, and her very obvious submissiveness. I dislike the fact that a woman who is so proud of her race still feels the need to burn and straighten her hair in order to make it "look white" (this was pointed to me by a woman of color I used to work with- who also straightened her hair. She said " you know, I HAVE to straighten my hair, I need the job. She doesn't. She's rich. If she was so proud of her race she should have at least accept her hair". ABB, whose hypocrisy I decry since turning Obamazoid, had a long time ago a good piece of writing about the politics of black hair).

However, I do not HATE her. It was pointed to me by some people that, by virtue of looking somewhat Caucasian, I enjoy privilege she didn't have. I don't know about that- it might be. I don't know what it's like growing up black in the USA, but I'm pretty sure growing up Jewish in communist Romania is not quite what some third wavers understand by "white privilege".
Living as an immigrant who has to put up with being regarded as "not white enough to be white in the UK" might also be a bit out of their area of experience or expertise. In the USA I was labelled Latina and that was that.

But that's not the point. The point is that while I dislike her, I do not hate her.

At my blog I wrote extensively about my recently departed aunt. I remember being about 14, and one of her daughters had somekind of argument at school with another girl. said daughter manipulated the guys in her class to attack that other girl with the most vile and disgusting insults, to the point where the poor girl had to change schools to escape.

Upon finding out what was going on, my aunt gave both her daughters and me ( just by virtue of being there I guess) a speech. She had a raspy voice from smoking 3 packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day, she was tiny and her face wrinkled and she was strong like old trees are strong.

" Do you think these boys like you? Do you think you're special and you'll never be treated like that because you're cute? You're a fool. Anyone who thinks of one woman like that thinks it about ALL women. They won't tell it to you while they find you useful, but don't you ever forget that these boys hate women, and they hate you too. When you won't be useful to them you will find it out.

You're not special, and you're not even human to them. For these boys, hating women is like a drug- they tasted it once and liked it because everybody likes to feel that they are inherently better than someone else. That girl is not in your school anymore, but they will find someone else to hate, and one day that person will be you.

They don't hate ONE woman, they hate ALL women. We're nothing but cunts to them, to fuck and throw away and nothing more, or maybe if we're good enough and meek enough to clean after them and put up with them and wash their shit streaked pants and stinky socks.

What they said to that girl? That is what they think of you, and me and every other woman on the planet. And they're gonna think that until the day they die, because that's how life is. "

The women who indulge in hating Sarah Palin the way Michelle indulged in hating and attacking Hillary or worse? They should know better. They are just fanning the fire that will one day burn them as well.

I don't hate Michelle Obama. She is rich and married to a guy who might just become the president of the USA. I'm a poor white collar immigrant living from paycheck to paycheck. I live in a small flat that gets so cold at night that water freezes in the ducts. Sometimes I have to make a choice between a buying a bus ticket or getting lunch.

However, I have it better than she does. I can go out and speak my mind. She did that in the primary. She isn't allowed to do that anymore. I'm not forced to look like a dead woman and act like a demure little thing to serve a man's political ambition. Also, unlike her, I didn't have to have a man accompany me to a job interview to supervise it.

I wonder if she realizes that the same people who attacked Hillary like rabid dogs- for her husband's profit- will attack her in the same manner without one second thought. I wonder if the alleged feminists who indulged in Palin and Hillary bashing understand that when they allowed and contributed to that, they smacked in the face any woman who may have considered entering politics.

I wonder whether they understand that the message they sent out- that it's OK to drag a woman through the mud if we don't like her, translates into it being OK to harass and drag through the mud any woman that someone doesn't like. Which is all women.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Newsflash- Moving is hell.

Because Ruth and Bernard have been so awesome to me, and because they both have midterms on Monday (and Bernard is just getting over pneumonia) I told them I would move everything.

Well, almost everything anyways.

And I am fucking tired y'all. Though the Puppy, the big, gorgeous, muscley Puppy, did come over and do a lot of the heavy lifting last night. (OMG- after years of dating eggheads with giant brains who lift nothing heavier than a laptop- can I tell you how sexy it is to see a guy just pick up an entire heavy dresser by himself and carry it upstairs. HOTNESS!) And the Puppy is coming over tonight to help move some more (and to make me french toast for breakfast tomorrow- yum!)

But in the mean time I have mountains of books to move, a headache, and there are unmentionable parts of my body that are sore.

So consider this an open thread- wanna bitch, blogwhore or just babble at me- have at it.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Hopey Changey?

It's a very surreal position I am in right now.

For the first time since FDR, someone in my family isn't voting for the Democrat. And that someone is me. Four years ago, I couldn't even imagine it. 8 years ago, I was screaming at Nader voters for their betrayal.

But I can't vote for Obama. The sexism was/is too much. The kowtowing to Republican beliefs is too much. The horrendous economic policies are too much. I wonder if I was in a swing state like dear Wonder and family, if I could hold as fast to my beliefs. But I am luckily in a dark blue state, so I am not faced with that dilemma.

But I do have hope. For two reasons.

First, regardless of what happens on next Tuesday, the long Bush nightmare is over. No more Commander Chimpy. No more Darth Cheney. No more Mad Cowboy Disease. No more of this horrible dystopia. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief on that one.

Second, I have hope not because of Obama, but because of the people he has inspired. The poly sci idealist in me gets teared up at the sheer number of people who are involved in the goings on of their government right now. (Granted a good number of those people are like my asshole stalker, but not all). This is what democracy is supposed to look like. People being involved in the decisions made at the top. People caring enough to do the hard work that democracy requires. It is not enough to vote.

Political science is the study of how people distribute power. Democracy is supposed to be the mass diffusion of this power to the people, so they can have power over their own lives. As a feminist, seeing people step up and accept that power makes me giddy. It's a big responsibility, and sometimes it's soooo much easier to let someone else do the hard work.

So come what may, I will celebrate next Tuesday. I spent about an hour and a half arguing with the Puppy last night (it's foreplay for me, people) while he tried one more time to "sell me on Obama". That ship has done sailed. But Tuesday night is all about an end to the horrors of Bush and a moment when the American people have accepted their responsibility for guiding their own lives.

That is worth at least a couple of vodka tonics, maybe even some champagne.

Scariest costume ever

I dare you to come up with something scarier than the Kid's costume this year. I really don't think you can, his idea was just that terrifyingly good.

Can you guess what might be the scariest costume of 2008?

Sarah Palin in a bikini with a gun- NOPE

McCain making air quotes around everything- NOPE

A Diebold voting machine- NOPE.

My brilliant child (proving that apples don't fall far) is dressed up as a Wall Street Banker today. His hair is slicked back all American Psycho style, he has fake money bulging out of his suit pockets.

Yeah- see if you can beat that.

For Ouyangdan

Who doesn't know her Clash. This is a public service announcement- WITH GUITAR!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

What if you had a party, but nobody came?

Make a Point at

So 10k to not have sex. And there are no takers. This should definitively prove that there is nooooooooo form of abstinence education that actually works. I mean the federal government can't even give away enough money to make people not have sex.

I think it would be better to say, I dunno, put that money into bringing down the fucking outrageous cost of birth control.

But what do I know, I'm a slutty girl with a lady brain.

It's funny cause it's true!

Sent to me by Ouyandan, who is evilly delicious (or deliciously evil- you pick)

It's funny cause it's true

Another momentary bitch

I picked up my birth control prescription today (Nuva ring if you're wondering. I love my Nuva Ring. They will have to pry it from my cold dead hands if they want to take it away).

Used to be about $30 a month. I got 3 months worth.

For $190


That's more than double.

The best speech Obama's ever given

Seriously, it's brilliant. Inspiring even.

ITT nailed

Courtesy of Donna Darko

carmonn: One thing that gets on my nerves is the need to make everything into a feminist issue, as if feminism is a catch all for all social justice issues.
Violet: And of course what’s really going on there is the patriarchal
brainwashing that women’s rights don’t deserve to be an issue on their own, and “good” women should instead be concerned about other issues (ones that involve men).
So every issue gets its own movement: gay rights, racism, anti-war,
poverty, prison reform, environmentalism — except women’s rights. Women can’t have a movement just devoted to women’s rights. No, in order to be intellectually credible to the patriarchy they have to focus on cleaning up all the OTHER messes.
Then, after the men have eaten and left the table, maybe
the women will get to sit down. After they’ve done the dishes of

Now me and the Queen have butted head about this more than once. Go read DD's piece, I have nothing more to say than what she already said.

Did you ever

It has come to my attention that what men need is clear, concrete guidelines for what is rape or sexual assault or just plain sexist doochebaggery. We women have spent a lot of time trying to get men to empathize with what being raped feels like, but perhaps it might be made more clear to them if they saw their own actions through our eyes.

Below the fold could be triggering for some people.

Did you ever..

Yell at a girl on the street. You know, you're just complimenting her on her looks, fine ass, whatever. Did it ever actually get you a date? (I'm going with "no" since I have yet to meet a single couple whose story starts with "he was street harassing me about my jiggly titties") When you yell at a girl on the street, most likely she is going to try and pretend she didn't hear you. That is our self defense kicking in. It's also a reminder that we can never expect to go outside of our homes and go about our business without fear. We fear you when you do this. We do not see it as a compliment. Do you want to be the doochebag that girls fear and ignore? You belong on Holla Back because you are a creep.

Try to cop a feel on a girl who you weren't in the middle of making out with? It's just a game, just a joke, to you. But to us it's a humiliating reminder that we don't get to control who touches us. This is middle school, boys will be boys bra snapping and ass grabbing to you. It's not so fun for us. You are sexually assaulting someone when you do that.

Keep asking a girl out after she told you no or put you off. Did she tell you she had a boyfriend and you said "that doesn't matter". Imaginary boyfriends (or real ones for that matter) are another self protection device. We use them when a guy won't take no for an answer and we want to be nice (because being mean can get us hurt).You are bordering on creepy stalker territory.

Get all worked up cause a girl was dancing/ flirting/ whatever and didn't actually ask if the girl was just dancing/ flirting/ whatever and assumed that those things meant guaranteed sex? Did you think that the girl was asking for trouble by doing that? That kind of thinking is the equivalent of assuming every single person you have ever shaken hands with want to go into business with you or hire you for a job. You are, at best, a rape apologist. At worse- a future rapist.

While messing around try to take things to the next step and have your hand moved away? Did you wait a few minutes and try the same move over? To you, it's just perseverance. To us, moving your hand away was a clear sign that we don't want to go any further. Everytime you keep trying after that reminds us that our own limits aren't respected. Every time you move your hand (or mouth or whatever) to somewhere she doesn't want it to be- you are sexually assaulting her.

Take a "No" or "Not right now" for a maybe. Did you keep trying to change her mind? Did you think that if you just kept at it, she might give in? Were you confused because she is ok with kissing or whatever, but won't go further, and you thought maybe you just needed to try a little harder to get her in the mood? If she did give in- at the very least what you got was pity sex. More likely you harassed her and wore her down until it was easier to give in than to keep fighting you. Is that how you want to remembered, as the asshole who just kept pushing until she did something she didn't want? Wearing someone down until they can no longer say no makes you a rapist.

Did you try to bargain your way out of a "no" with a "how about a nice back rub" or "what about just a blow job" instead? You're no better than the asshole above.

sleep with a girl who was maybe a bit too drunk? Maybe she didn't even seem *that* drunk at first. Maybe she was blurry but kissing you at first. Or maybe more than kissing. Did you keep going after the point when it was plainly clear she was too drunk (vomiting is a good clue, inability to walk is another) Did she pass out in the middle and you took her earlier actions and her lack of ability to say no now as an ok to finish what you started? Maybe it didn't even get to sex. Maybe you just felt her up a little? You are a rapist.

This is by no means the sum total of all possible situations where rape/ sexual assault/ doochebaggery occur. It's just a few of those fuzzy "grey" areas which aren't so fuzzy when you think about consent.

It's time you boys stopped treating anything less than a No as a maybe. Yes means yes, everything else means trouble.

What was that about worshiping false idols?

Some Christians, once again showing neither a sense of irony or literacy, say prayers over a golden bull on wall street.

Huhm, where have I heard something about religious types being punished for worshiping false idols? Where was that again?

Something, golden calf, Moses, something.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How Bloggers Waste Time (We waste a lot of it)

Open for Ridiculousness

ME: Hola chiquita!

OUYANGDAN:: what is up?
so i told the Kid that I would pull her out of school for a couple of hours to go vote w/ me

ME: cool
I always take The Kid with me

OUYANGDAN:: she was sooooo excited!

ME: Kid was the first time. Now he brings a book and ignores me

OUYANGDAN:: she was all "really! i can help you help pick the president?"

ME: sweet!

OUYANGDAN:: she is learning about presidents at school and was so friggin excited. she gets excited over the stangest things

ME: that's not strange. I still get excited over voting

OUYANGDAN:: i do just didn't occur to me that she would get excited
so i offered to take her w/ me
and told her that she could ask me all the questions she wanted

ME: that's soooo sweet. Dear gawd i want to eat your child
I'm dressing up as red riding hood because all the creativity I can muster is tying a red bedsheet over a black dress

OUYANGDAN:: works for me. i'm gonna be alice cooper b/c i have eyeliner
ME: Sweet!

EDITED FOR PICS OF OD’s bloody roommate

OUYANGDAN:: i know. he came home drunk monday night, w/ a new mohawk and demanded I bring the camera to forever collect how he is coming out of anesthesia

ME: Oh dear gawd- is he 15?

OUYANGDAN:: almost...23

ME: Ahhhh
They don't become fully human till 24 or 25

OUYANGDAN:: i certainly hope so. hahaha
ME: wait- how old is The Guy?

OUYANGDAN:: he will be 24 in feb

ME: Haha- you married a baby!

in fact do just that

ME: I can't tease you too much. I'm sleeping with a puppy
a very very sexy puppy

OUYANGDAN:: how old is puppu?

ME: 27- but subtract a few years for lack of experience

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha
that is only a little younger than me!

ME: I know!

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha

ME: I just told him I'm a cougar and then did the meow/ claw thing
It was cute

OUYANGDAN:: i bet!

ME: I just want to devour him

OUYANGDAN:: facial pubes and all

ME: The facial pubes are nice actually. Not at all scratchy and lots of fun to play with
Plus- I've seen pics of him without the facial pubes- he looks like a stoned surfer. NOt HOT

ME: So ruth thinks I need to write a WHole Foods Shopper Manfiesto

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha
good idea
like on how to shop well on little or what?

ME: Nooooo- a satire about how fucking awful the uptight obsessives are there
and i say this as a person who will eat my own weight in whole foods butter chicken

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha...i know what you mean. it was awful in california
the aisles were so small and i was always having to squeeze past people, and they would look at me like i was some leper who had just touched them

ME: And their kids! The worst behaved spoiled brats in the universe!

ME: Someone just paid off the rest of my rent $

OUYANGDAN:: wow! yay!
about the rent. not the bratty kids

ME: yes

OUYANGDAN:: good for you!

ME: someone who i don't know promised me last week (when i still needed a grand) that she wouldcover whatever was left this week

OUYANGDAN:: awww. that is sweet.
very very sweet

ME: I know
now I am all gooey inside

OUYANGDAN:: you are boring when you are gooey ;)
not really...i just had to say that

ME: I can't hold a clear argument in my head. I don't know if it's too much sex (or almost sex- weve taken to dry humping in his car for privacy) or the fact that the world is no longer a cold and lonely place. But my head is all super gooey

OUYANGDAN:: well it is a nice break
however long it lasts
you could use less stress and more something to distract you from shitty stuff

ME: Yep- I'm a realist. It'll be back to sucking sooner or later
did I tell you i started getting child support again?

OUYANGDAN:: you told me you got a stray payment. is it recurring?

ME: 3 regular checks so far

OUYANGDAN:: wow. sudden but welcomed!

ME: Oh hell yeah It almost doubles my income
OUYANGDAN:: and that is a lot
gah i can't type

ME: gahhhh!
I must go feed the nicotine beast a smokey lung treat
back in 5

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha...OK

ME: miss me?

OUYANGDAN:: like the sun

ME: awe
I'm watching samantha b talk about McCain's air quote

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha. she is so funny

ME: I just love her. And Sarah Haskins.
And Tina Fey and Amy Pohler
Who was that asswipe who said women aren't funny?

OUYANGDAN:: no idea. i love it when people pull out the "well, this isn't that big of a deal, not like issue X that is going on around the world"

ME: Ughhhhh

OUYANGDAN:: or "i am an activist for Y and I don't think this is that bad

ME: I hate that
OUYANGDAN:: like good ol elspeth here

ME: that's the whole- well it;s not offensive to ME- so it's not offensive argument

OUYANGDAN:: i hate that
i really really do. i hate how presumptive it is to tell me what i should be "wasting my time" addressing

ME: Puppy and I were talking about abortion today. He said "I'm trying to go at this from a scientific, philosophical aspect"
I said "How nice that you can be philosophical about something that directly effects my body. What a luxury for you

OUYANGDAN:: pretty much
is PG porn hurting tons of people around the world? maybe not. does it make it seem like it's ok to laugh at the accidental death of a woman who's only crime was liking sex?

ME: And is it from people who should fucking know better? Because they've done pretty pro-feminist stuff before?

OUYANGDAN:: pretty much

OUYANGDAN:: I have actually thought about writing to Nathan Fillion to express my disappointment, but it doesn't come out right
(he's my friend on MySpace)

ME: Dear nathan Fillion-
I used to think you were the hottest thing ever. And I massively respected you for being in the very girl friendly Firefly series
And i had high hopes for PG porn.
But dude- violence against women, NOT FUNNY
Please resume your former hotness

OUYANGDAN:: have a way w/ words

ME: That is why I am an unpaid writer. If I was a complete hack I'd make a million dollars a year

I've got a golden ticket!

Samantha B- I lurve you!

House fund!

Thanks to a lovely donor who finished off the last bit- I have all the house money now.

You peeps are so sweet i could microwave you all.

Dear California

It's come to my attention that you have two super awful initiatives on your ballot. Since I can't write at the moment, please see the below post for explanation on why prop 4 & prop 8 are seriously bad ideas.

First prop 4 and why parental notification laws are stupid things. Complete with bits of my own horrible history. Ohhh tawdry!

Next prop 8- The Veil of Ignorance (aka the right to live, love, fuck and marry whomever you want)

Now in Washington state we have a little initiative on the ballot about physician assisted suicide. I am pro. It goes with that whole body sovereignty thing. It's my body, if I'm done using it I should get to choose that. But if any of you peeps want to argue why I shouldn't be for it- have at it in comments. I'm in need of a good debate to break the happy ennui.

Kitchen Music

Since I'm trapped in the ennui of happiness I thought I'd share a few of the tunes I like to belt out in the kitchen. Today it's all about Rufus Wainwright. Who I love. In that I want him to be my new best gay boyfriend kinda way.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk (Also my weak spots Rufus! We should be besties!)


And a twofer for the Torchwood fans out there- Instant Pleasure with clips of Captain Jack and Ianto

A funny thing happened

My faith in humanity got restored recently. And it turns out that it is nearly impossible for me to work up the righteous indignation I need to write while I'm busy being so damn fucking happy. Yes- I am fully aware that the last couple things I wrote meandered into incomprehensible babble.

But in my heart I'm still a realist. So given enough time and stupidity, I am sure the world will be set to right and I will go back to being my normal cranky self.

In the mean time- A Movie Review.

Last night I went and saw Street Fight. It was an awesome movie. If you think all Democrats are full of shiny bright love for democracy, you should see this movie. Cory Booker is the kind of real hope and change, down in the trenches politician I can get behind. And for once, the Big Puppy and I agreed on something political.

That said, I've been thinking about the presidential election. You all have nooooooo idea how much I want to be able to vote for Obama. Hell, I think I will be the first member of my family since Roosevelt to NOT vote for the Democrat. But I can't. I can't get behind the idea that Obama is the change we've been waiting for. Every time I try to push aside my doubts, something else comes screaming at me.

This election for me is the equivalent of leaving a church community. It's like quitting Catholicism after a lifetime of mass and rosaries and confession. But my conscience won't let me take the easy way out. Damn conscience. Always messing up the easy way.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Some anthropology for you peeps

So the Big Puppy and I were talking about how male dominance came into play to begin with. He said he read some book about how the plow is the reason men are boss, because plowing apparently gives women miscarriages and men started suddenly being the major food providers.

Dear fucking god, when are they going to stop giving academic hacks who use outdated theories publishing deals?

Here's the thing- that whole Big Man Bring Home the Bacon thing never really existed. Women have traditionally brought in the bulk of food. And there wasn't some "men are the manly ones who kill the meat" thing either.

We humans started as fucking scavengers people. You know, like vultures. We ran in after a bigger animal killed a smaller animal and then we sucked out the marrow from the bones. And that is how we became protein fattened ominvores.

And when we became hunters in our own right, it wasn't a lone fucking spearman in the jungle. We worked as a tribe, men and women together, to run the beast down until it was too tired to fight anymore. Group fucking effort requiring every last one of us.

But let's ignore the meat part for a second. It's only in recent decades of mass production that meat has become a daily staple. It used to be, for the majority of people, a special occasion/ seasonal only thing. The daily food was/is women's work. The grains, the veggies, the fruits. The picking of, grinding of, preserving of, cooking of.

This is where that women do 90% of the labor in the world but own only 10% of the resources number comes in. It starts with hunter/gatherers. There has always been a lot more gathering going on than hunting.

And it turns out that one of the most awesome human developments was not big manly spear hunter dude- but grandmothers who went through menopause. OMG- you mean dried up old crones are useful! Who knew? (Well every single new mom who ever had their own mother come help out does, but why take the experience of people with lady brains into account?)

So wait- how does this show where male dominance comes into history? Violet's got some ideas, but I think it's a matter of work load.

People like to talk about the division of labor. It's a big deal, division of labor. When tasks become specialized, societies become more complex. We have this idea that this where men went out and did specialized jobs like pottery or hunting or weapon making while all the women did was cook the bacon brought back by the dudes. Except women were doing the same work men were. If their family farmed, they learned farming and worked in the fields. If their family made pots, they learned to stoke the kilns. And while they were at it, they also managed to have babies and feed their families. There was no take out, no grocery store, no deli, to provide ready prepared meals. You cannot specialize out the actual providing of food, at least not until McDonald's shows up.

So women have been crazy busy with the whole helping us evolve by making sure that we are born and fed and men might be a wee bit grouchy that no matter what they do- they can't top the whole giving life thing.

So they use the spare time they have while we are birthing babies and cooking dinner to think of ways they are powerful too. Look, women get all big and round and slow at the end of pregnancy! Men don't. Look women are generally shorter than us! And not as bulky in the upper arm area! And too many pregnancies can make them weak or even dead!

End if you need even more proof that it is workload- I give you the following videos.

1st- because I cannot embed (and sorry OD- It's a link to Jezebel. I lurveee you!) Woman do all the work- via Of all the fucking places- MTV

Then Sarah haskins shows us all about feeding your fucking family

And let's just contrast that with a commercial that was PULLED off the air in the UK because a guy took on the girly role of feeding his fucking family and being all gay.