Saturday, October 23, 2010

Off to the airport in just over an hour

and am seriously dreading the possible Southwest fat tax. We're so fucked if I have to buy another seat.

So think positive happy thoughts for us.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Okay Pandora

I leave you alone for a minute and you veer off into the soft fancy acoustic guitar crap the 70s. Do not want.

ETA If you're gonna play weird acoustic shit, Starfuckers is the way to go.

Escape is imminent

Or however you spell that. Flight booked. Cab driver found who will hual us anywhere for less than the shuttle guys. It's all good.

Now Lizzie must take some deep breaths and chill the fuck out. And then pack like a mad woman.


southwest's site is down and it's the only way to book the cheap seats.

why can't i put a crying emoticon in my blog posts. Oh yeah. Because this ain't live journal.

Middle class values don't what?

Hey Salon. Hey NY Times. How about instead of the hand wringing about how different the poor are from everyone else, you ask one.

Or two. Or 20.

But for fucks sake stop using your assy Regan stereotypes to show the difference. I'm fucking poor as dirt. I've never met a Welfare Queen and I've been poor all my life. I lived in the ghetto for almost a decade. Never saw one there. All I saw was people trying everything they could to get by, same as you, but with less opportunity to do something to powerfully change their lives.

But once again, with feeling MIDDLE CLASS VALUES DON'T SOLVE POVERTY. Poverty isn't a moral or ethical failing. You really want to end poverty, hand over the cash. Period. Everything else is abstinence only education.

The Great Escape Blegathon Continues


so thanks to two lovely godless whores I'm at 700 bucks. I'm trying to book a slightly pricier flight that leaves tomorrow, but southwest's site is made of lose.

Thank you thank you thank you

So far I've got $150 in donations. Sweet!

If i fly Southwest and risk fatty shaming/ seat denying then I can get us out of here on Wednesday for $360 plus $75 for the cat.

I still am stuck on the $176 shuttle to get us from dante's 9th circle of rural hell to Orlando.

So that's $611 needed minus $150

I need $461 to get out of here. Not a huge amount, but it seems like a mountain at the moment and my strength is dwindling. You only have so much useful adrenaline in you to get through crisis shit before your body just says "fuck you". And my body is at the fuck you stage. Thanks you traitorous skin bag.

so that it.

$461 and counting.

ETA: Are you wishing you could give but think paypal is the work of the devil? How about a Southwest Giftcard instead?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

After you're done with your fauxbo fire.......

How about warming up with this topless lady radiator
.Double bonus points that she's headless, armless and legless.

Oh noes

The Slits lead singer, Ari Up, has died at age 48.

I saw her perform her reggae punk rock a few years ago at a dive in Seattle. She was magnificent. A weird combo of joy and aggression that I found very appealing. To be that forceful but still positive is a unique trait.

For Realz?

Say you're a rich person who has everything. I mean you pretty much stole everything, or you inherited stuff that was stolen. But either way, what you've got is more than enough resources to afford a damn furnace.

But maybe you wanna make like you're one of the little peeps. Maybe you've always had a romantic vision of hobos and their vagabond lives. No ties or trophy wives. No board meetings. No snorting coke off the ass of a woman who wouldn't look twice at you if you didn't have enough money to buy Bolivia. Oh wait, that might be something you don't want to give up.

But now you fucking MOTU (masters of the universe) can experience your own sanitized little version of the carefree homeless life with this portable trashcan fire.

So wrap that $38,000 bottle of Macallan in a paper bag. Cut the fingers off your driving gloves and eat your caviar straight from the can while you warm yourself with the glow of this beauty. You too can experience the freedom of abject poverty without any of the actual horrors.

And since once again it's 3am and I'm awake

You all get a movie description review. Cause I'm browsing Hulu and I need something to fall back to sleep too.

This has to be the least appealing sounding movie description ever written

They're in their 20s. He works in a video store; he's eager, chatty, sleeps in his car. She rents adult films, looks disheveled, rarely speaks. He chats her up, she brushes him off. He takes her address from store records and contrives to run into her. He rings her doorbell; she tells him to go away. He invents a story of a great-aunt who's died; she lets him in but holds a butcher knife between them. So it goes. He presses for a relationship; she ignores him, insults him, or yells. He's persistent, inviting her out, cooking, washing her hair. Both have demons and, as their natures become more clear, his addictive personality and her sex nausea may be on a collision course
Let's see, you've got an opportunistic stalker who won't take no for an answer. You've got a woman who is either frigid or being slut shamed for her porno viewing. I'm not sure which (or maybe it's both) and oh look, it's a comedy. A fucking romantic comedy.

Help me escape the evil dog people and I promise not to bleg again

So things here just keep getting more and more awful. I think Ruth summed it up best with "people whose dogs attack people ALWAYS act the same way, like assholes". So now the kitchen is basically off limits. Dinner tonight consisted of gas station hot dogs and twizzlers eaten at the baseball field.

Anyways....We aren't safe here, and now it's less from the dog and more from people. And it will just keep getting weirder. I am homesick for Seattle. And at least there is a wee smidge of a chance of finding a job in a city rather than the rural hell I've been in.

Here's what we need.

Airplane tickets. Between 160 and 200 per person.
Transport to the airport (we are 2 hours from Orlando and don't know anyone who could drive us, if you do yay) About 175 not including tax and tip
Baggage checking- everything I own will have to fit on 4 checked bags and since we lost our storage it really is everything we own. About 120 for most airlines.
Baby kitty transport. I know it's silly to bring the cat, but the Kid calls her his baby sister. it's 150 for her to fly in the cabin if they don't require a certification from the vet.

So total needed is about 850. And we need it really soon. We could fly as soon as tomorrow but I don't have the money for the tickets.

I know, I am queen of money drams. Trust me it sucks as much having to keep asking as it does to keep reading. But the powerball ticket that was my original plan didn't pan out.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Because people are shitty

Sorry for the crappy camera phone quality. I know that simple evidence is all most people need to know the truth. There ya go. It's hard to capture the bruises with my phone, but I tried. Of course now, in the future when the dog kills someone there is documentation of his past. Wouldn't have been published online if people hadn't acted like assholes.

I mean I suppose it could look worse. I could have lost a limb, or there could be more blood. He only got 2 teeth in me after all. But how many bites does it take to make a dog attack? One, five, twelve?

When there is no possible way you can be on the side of right in an argument

then you must deny deny deny the facts as they actually exist.

Christian fundies don't hate gays. They hate the sin.

Racists don't hate (insert ethnic group), they just hate people who are (insert stereo type).

There is no patriarchy, women are just biologically programmed to be (insert a service required by the patriarchy here).

The dog isn't viscous. He might have scratched you, a little, might have.

You know I haven't actually studied the structure of debate techniques, but I am sure deny and minimize are classics.

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Woman Who Cried Woof

Imagine, gentle readers, this. (triggering for dog attacks, btw)

There is a dog, big, a mutt with a decided bit of some kind of bull dog in him. For the most part the dog is just large and friendly to family but scary to non-family. Dog's been with the family for years and years. "Wouldn't hurt a fly" they tell the woman. "You just have to respect his boundaries."

And the woman is not afraid of dogs. This one is a little intimidating, sure. But he's kept fenced up at a different house and so she doesn't worry about it. Months go by and all is well.

Then the dog snips at the woman's child. The Kid isn't hurt, but she doesn't trust the dog after that. But the dog is still at another house, and all is well. She tells the Kid to stay away from the dog.

Then the dog is brought to where the woman and the kid live. And to get to anything, like say the bedrooms or the kitchen or the bathroom, you must get by the dog. This makes the woman nervous. She has a horrible dream that the dog eats and kills the Kid. Her family tells her she is ridiculous. Treats her like an idiot for even suggesting such a thing. The woman tries to put it out of her head. It's just a bad dream.

A week goes by. Everything seems okay. The woman is coming back from the bathroom one night and out of nowhere the dog lunges at her. Would have gone for her throat, but she screamed his name and he backed off. She's shaken. Scared. Her family tells her she's ridiculous. He wouldn't hurt her. It's her own fault anyways for showing fear. She asks that the dog be moved somewhere safer. She is told no.

In the middle of the night, she wakes up because she has to pee. She opens her bedroom door and there is the dog, blocking her doorway. She closes the door. Tries to hold it till her kidneys ache. Contemplates hanging her ass out of the window and peeing that way, but seriously she should just be able to use the fucking bathroom without being afraid of the dog.

So she cautiously steps over the dog. Success. She makes it to the bathroom. She pees. Her kidneys will live another day! She pokes her head out the bathroom door. The dog is just where she left it. Someone said that she might have startled the dog the last time, so she makes sure the dog sees and hears her. She's fine till about half way when the dog pounces. This time he takes a couple of chunks out of her leg and she has to keep her kid from trying to come out and save her.

Afterwards, she's still treated like an asshole because the dog bit her. It can't be as bad as she says, though her left leg is bruised and oozing where the teeth tore through her skirt. She must have done something to set him off. He was just being a dog, can't blame him for that.

And through this whole thing I am thinking that it sounds a whole fuck of a lot like the crap rape victims and domestic violence victims get. Not being believed when you say you're scared. Not being believed even after you're attacked. Must of done something to deserve it. Must have set it off. Worn a short skirt or burnt the dinner or shown fear. The rabid dog is a better analogy for rape than the mugging scenario that gets used so often.

(But bonus- after both attacks, even though what i wanted more than anything was a fucking cigarette to make myself stop shaking, I didn't smoke).