Friday, June 01, 2007

Stop the clash of civilizations!

Either I am PMSing or the state of the world has gotten really bad, cause this video just made me all teary eyed.

I think it may be Saul Williams' voice in the background on this video. He rocks.
I always thought Samuel Huntington's Clash of Civilizations theory was a bunch o'fearmongering.

Oh gross

After my last post on How men can stop rape- this little blog is now being found by people googling such phrases as

sHOw me boys being raped

little kids being raped


For all you sick ass pedophiles- may your cock fall off and be eaten by rabid dogs. You picked the wrong site to read - unless you want to learn something- then by all means.

Here's a quick lesson- children cannot consent. No matter how much you think they might enjoy you raping them - they cannot consent. Just like they cannot consent to dropping out of school or running away to join the circus- they cannot consent to being the cum dumpster for a sick pervert.

You are a grown up. Children are not grown ups. I suspect that a large part of the reason that you like them is that they cannot consent- makes it soooooooooooooooo much easier than trying to have sex with another adult, who could call you on your sick delusions and knee you in the crotch.

Fuckwads- all of you. And I know your IP addresses. Yes- that means you in Oakland and the guy who is good about hiding all of his information but his IP address.

How men can stop rape

Via Pandagon comes the horrific story of a 17 year old girl gang raped by guess who...

No really, guess..

It's not hard, I promise.

OK- by a group of 8 college athletes from DeAnza Community College. Who couldn't see that one coming? OK- maybe you couldn't pick the exact school, but college athlete is becoming code for rapist.

“This poor girl was not moving. She had vomit dribbling down her face. We had to scoop vomit out of her mouth [and] lift her up. Her pants were completely off her body,” says Chief Elk. “She had her one shoe on, her jeans were wrapped around one of her ankles and her underwear was left around her ankles. To the left of the bed there was some condom thrown on the ground.”

“When they lifted her head up, her eyes moved and she said ‘I’m sorry,’” says Grolle. “One of the guys who was in the room said ‘This is her fault. She got drunk and she did this to herself.‘”

Lovely- like she just wandered into a room and fell on 8 cocks. Totally her fault, natch.

In the comments at Pandagon a discussion came up about how men can stop rape and why is it men's responsibility to stop it instead of both men and women.

First- why is it men's responsibility.

Women have been told that it is their responsibility to prevent rape since forever. We are told not to dress a certain way, walk alone at night, get drunk, lead someone on, etc. etc. etc. Yet for some reason, all of our efforts to eliminate rape through our own behavior have failed because the only difference between a mini-skirt wearing drunk girl walking home by herself at night and a rape victim is THE PRESENCE OF A RAPIST. So boys, half the population has been working to eliminate rape already and that hasn't solved the problem. It's time for you guys to get with the fucking program.

What men can do to eliminate rape

1) Don't rape (obvious, I know)

2) Don't treat rape like a joke or try to equate it to something else. For example- it is not ok to say "Man I got raped on that car deal". Overpaying for a car or getting the bad end of a divorce settlement is not in any way comparable to getting raped. Actually getting raped is comparable to getting raped.

3)Don't laugh, wink, or quietly let slide when other guys make rape jokes. You know you've done it. You need to grow a pair and say "that's not cool". This includes making jokes about prison rape - no one deserves to be Bubba's prison bride just like no one deserves to be murdered.

4) Treat anything less than an enthusiastic "Hell yes!" as a no when it comes to sex. No one has ever died or had their life ruined from not having sex, but having sex with someone who is not a completely willing partner will ruin someone's life. You should treat an "I don't know", "Maybe" or no response at all as a "No". Women are conditioned from before we grow boobs that men are dangerous. A woman who doesn't say an explicit "no" may simply be trying to find the least confrontational way out of the situation. Even if you don't think you are dangerous, our frame of reference says otherwise.

5) Assume drunk equals "No". It doesn't always, I know. I think everyone has at least one drunken sex story, but play it safe and assume it's a "No". If she's sober next time and wants to- yippy! But if not, be glad that you dodged a non-consent bullet at worst and serious morning after humiliation at best. If you never see her in a sober state- assume she has a drinking problem and should be avoided.

6) Begging, pleading, seducing, charming, lying, bothering, convincing, pestering, etc to get a woman to have sex with you may not legally equate to rape (in some places it does)- but it makes you an asshole and it hurts the person you want to have sex with. Here's an example, cause I feel like being all personal and shit lately.

A few months ago a "special friend" was supposed to come over for a visit. I had developed a horrible kidney infection. Antibiotics weren't working, my back was killing me and I had a fever of 103. He showed up, I didn't even want to get up to answer the door so I just laid in bed.

He kept ringing the bell. For like 20 minutes. I finally answered the door and yelled at him- "What the fuck dude- I'm sick and you're ringing my bell like a god damned stalker". He was very apologetic and said if we couldn't have sex he would just come hang out for a while and take care of me. Fine, whatever. 15 minutes later and he's trying to put his hand up my shirt. "Seriously, dude- do you not understand kidney infection?- We are not going to fuck!"

"How about if you just jack me off?"


"OK I'll just give you a back rub"

"Fine, but we really aren't going to fuck"

After a few more futile attempts to get me to fuck him, he left. When the fever was gone I sent him a seriously bitchy email about how that was not ok. He's still not talking to me (no loss) or the friend that introduced us. But he really did think that harassment is an ok way to get laid.

Here's a radical idea for you all- getting sex from a girl is not a battle to be won. That is maybe the most radical idea on this whole list-

7) Getting laid is not a battle.

Repeat- getting laid is not a battle. You are not trying to capture an enemy flag. You are not trying to show your manly prowess by hunting for girl game. You don't "win" by convincing a previously unconvinced girl that she wants to sleep with you.

8) Sex is a thing for mutual enjoyment. I promise that any boy who has to spend that much time convincing a girl to fuck him has not in the end actually convinced her that he is an awesome love god, but has instead worn her down into delivering sex for the sole purpose of getting him to leave her alone. It's worse than a mercy fuck dude. At that point the girl has basically decided that it is easier to be a hole in the mattress than to deal with your whining for another hour. It means she has given up all hope of your being a decent guy. It also means that she probably faked an orgasm just to get you off her faster.

9) If she says yes to begin with and then changes her mind- stop immediately! Again with the mutual enjoyment thing- she's not enjoying it and you don't have a god-given right to finish once you've started. You will live through a case of blue balls, I promise.

10) Teach your kids that their bodies are theirs and they have control over them. This is for both boys and girls and it starts in small ways. I remember being a kid and my mom's friends would tickle me until I cried. Instead of being told that I could tell them to stop (or better yet- having my own mother tell them to stop picking on a little kid)- I was told to stop acting like a baby. Basically- I was told that I didn't have the right to stop people from touching me in a way I didn't like.

I didn't do that with my kid. The rule is that in play fighting or tickling or anything- one no is all that has to be said for it to stop. This goes for him and me, just because I am his mother doesn't mean he gets a free pass. It teaches him that his body is his own and someone else's body is their own to do with as they please. If he understands that basic premise of sovereignty and that it applies to everyone then he is less likely to ignore a girl when he gets older and she says no. He is also better prepared should someone try to rape him (not as likely for boys, but this is an added benefit).

11) Don't minimize rape. No one ever asked for it, there is nothing she could have done differently and with the huge stigma that comes from being raped, the chances that she is making it up are really, really slim. Don't apologize for rapists or excuse their behavior. The only crime where we question if the victim is actually a victim is rape. You can scream about innocent until proven guilty all you like, but give the victim the same respect you'd give the victim of any other crime and assume that she is actually a crime victim.

And finally, to the 3 girls who stopped the rape and got the girl to the hospital- you 3 have ovaries of steal and hell of a lot more morality than any of the boys in that room. You rock and are my heroes for today.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

2012 is Already Here!

OK, I am cheating here, crossposting between here and my site at I know my astrological work is beyond the ken of most people on the planet now, but the topic below ties intimately with issues we will increasingly face over the next ten years.
The more astute among us will have noticed that the issues of the 60s reverberate throughout our lives everyday. Civil rights, women's, racial and gay, while improved, remain unresolved. The US finds itself in another unwinnable war and protesters search for new means to convince politicians to remove troops from harm's way. The mid 60s included the Cultural Revolution, the Seven Day War, Saddam Hussein's climb to power; Africa gained confidence in its efforts to throw off colonial chain; Che Guevara made efforts to spread unrest in South America. In so many ways what happened then laid the seeds for what we experience now. In so many ways the 60s saw ways of old come to an end. It marked an end of innocence, but also the birth of new ways. The era of Ozzie and Harriet came to an end, shattered by gunshots that erased two Kennedys and Martin Luther King and the pen of Rachel Carson.

Then and Now Astrologically

October 29, 1966

I chose the chart above based on the fact that it was on the day of an eclipse, typically times that mark important dates throughout a year. It just so happens it is the day that the National Organization of Women drew up its charter. Outer planet wise, Saturn (bottom of the chart, 3rd house) is opposite Uranus conjunct Pluto (top of the chart, 9th house). Without repeating the details, note that the events mentioned already tie into this astrological configuration. Conjunctions (Uranus aligned with Pluto) represent seed moments, both beginnings and ends. The last Uranus-Pluto conjunction before this one appeared around 1848, the year of revolutions all across Europe, when the Communist Manifesto reached publication and the Seneca Falls Convention first launched a feminist movement. A layperson probably finds these connections unconvincing, but astrologers are not surprised that much of what happened in the 60s reflects the previous Uranus-Pluto conjunction period of the mid to late 1840s. I don't expect the uninitiated to accept this association, but the open-minded will at least pay attention.

June 26, 2010

In the chart above the three main components again find themselves in interesting alignments, Saturn opposes Uranus, as it did in the mid-sixties, but Uranus has moved 90° in relation to Pluto, a condition known as a lower square. The technical details do not matter as much as knowing that the components remain the same thought their relative positions will have changed. For perspective know that the Great Railroad Strike of 1877 appeared under similar Uranus-Pluto conditions.
The main point to take from this that unlike the other 2012 predictions, this one is based on a system anyone can follow. The connections between the 60s and present, escalating issues follow a clear path tied to real issues we can understand in today's terms. Most will remain skeptical about these connections, but when 2010 brings up all of the issues festering since the 60s remember where you heard it first!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Shorter Jonah Goldberg..

John Edwards doesn't really care about the poor cause he has money.

Hey Jonah- Are any of the other candidates, Dem or Rep, male or female, black or white, rich or richer- talking about the poor? Anyone? No.

Hey Jonah- when Obama's campaign callers keep stalking me for funds I tell them over and over again that I make Welfare level wages- their response is to tell me about programs that Obama supports that have nothing to do with my income level- cause I am that poor. Then the ask me for just a little donation, just $25 dollars or something.

Hillary's people do the same thing.

You know who doesn't- John Fricken' Edwards somehow gets that someone making under $15000 a year couldn't afford to contribute money to his campaign but would still support his campaign.

Hey Jonah- who in this country has made money without getting it in some way, manner, shape or form from poor people? Who?

John Edwards is the ONLY candidate (ok- Kucinich too- but viable candidate) who is trying to put some of that money back.

Monday, May 28, 2007

How to teach your white male child about cultural bias

With today off from school, the Kid was watching Oprah while I managed to waste a perfectly good afternoon doing absolutely nothing (yay me!) Oprah is doing a “How cultural bias makes me feel not pretty” show and the Kid was struck by a segment where a bunch of African American kids decided that white dolls were more attractive than black dolls. Ahhhh- learning moment presents itself.

I have tried to explain to the Kid that aside from his mother’s crushing poverty level- he hit the cultural bias lottery. He’s white and male. This doesn’t make him better than anyone, but it does mean that he gets a lot pf privileges for no reason other being white and male. For instance- his placement in the gifted program at his school.

We live in one of the most culturally diverse neighborhoods in American with a high portion of African Americans as well as Ethiopian and Somali immigrants. We are the only white people in our apartment building and have been for all the years we have lived here. His school is two blocks away, and Seattle has a program of putting gifted students into schools with high levels of poverty (it’s no coincidence that high levels of poverty also coincide with high levels of minorities- we all know that already). The idea is that the smart white kids will help pull up the brown kids while giving the smart white kids an environment with more cultural diversity. But that’s not how it works in real life.

The gifted kids have little to no interaction with all the other kids at school. I asked the kid to think about how many African American students are in his gifted classes. There are only 2. Contrast this with his special ed class, where he is the only white kid. So we went and did a little research on the school’s ethnic breakdown.

The school is:

23% African American

28% Asian American

10% Hispanic

38% Caucasian

If there was no racial bias then we could expect that in a class of 30 students then only 12 would be white. The reality is that there are 2 black, 2 Asian, and 2 Latino students in his gifted classes- or 20% of the students are not white in a school where 60% of the students are minorities. (As an aside- I love combining a sociology lesson with a math lesson).

Then we went on to talk about how cultural bias is insidious. Nobody says that black students aren’t as smart as white students (ok- people do say that kind of racist crap, but the ones who are upfront about being idiots are so much easier to make fun of) but the way that the classes are made up shows that there is a bias.

So I went back to a math problem that the Kid had recently- Ricardo buys 3.2 oz of prosciutto to make sandwiches. Each sandwich uses one 0.4 oz slice to make a sandwich. How many sandwiches can Ricardo make?

Prosciutto is expensive. Most poor kids (and a huge chunk of middle class kids) wouldn’t know what the hell prosciutto is. Hell, Microsoft Word’s spell checker doesn’t even know what it is, it keeps wanting to change it from prosciutto to prostitute. The only kids who would know what prosciutto is are ones who can afford very expensive meat to make sandwiches, the rest of us stick with bologna or ham. While the math problem itself is not difficult- how many non-privileged kids would get caught up just trying to figure out what the hell kind of sandwich Ricardo is trying to make.

So the Kid’s math book, designed for gifted kids, is culturally biased towards more privileged kids. This is a pretty good example of the millions of tiny ways that bias influences everything and why poor minority kids might not do as well on tests or in gifted classes when just the basic homework questions assume a frame of reference that these kids just don’t have. Why not ask how many bologna or turkey sandwiches could be made? Why prosciutto? (I love prosciutto, so does the Kid, but then we are poverty gourmands- exception as opposed to the rule).

In the end the gist of the lesson was this: Life is unfair, but that doesn’t mean you don’t work your ass off to make it fairer. Cultural bias is everywhere, but just because you hit the bias lottery by being a white male doesn’t mean you get to ignore that bias. You have to work your ass off to understand your privilege and then make it easier for people who didn’t hit the bias lottery to succeed.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Things I have learned reading online dating profiles

1) Do not say that you are looking for a “real woman”. Unless you have access to some super secret government Stepford Wives project, women who read this will assume that you have been spending all your time with an inflatable woman or a Real Doll. All women are real, live, actual persons.

2) Clich├ęs are bad. Do not include anything about walks on the beach, staying in and watching movies, looks good in jeans or a dress, or a partner in crime. You will be seen as the dullest thing since watching a movie about two partners in crime who take long walks on the beach in jeans and a dress.

3) I cannot reiterate enough- if you call yourself a man you better be looking for a woman, not a girl. You will be considered sexist at best, a child molester at worst.

4) If you say you want a woman who knows how to treat her man, you better mean she knows how to point you towards the refrigerator when you whine about dinner not being ready.

5) Only married men post ads about how romantic they are, but don’t include pictures. This is because married men have nothing else to offer but romance and have had all of their shortcomings in the romance department clearly laid out for them by their wives. Flowers and presents are nice, but honesty and, you know, not being a lying, cheating bastard are better.

6) For years women who waited to have kids have gotten the short end of the stick on the dating scene. But you, 50-year-old guy who waited to have kids and now wants to find someone 20 or 30 years younger than you to shoot out your spawn, keep dreaming. I have no interest in becoming a baby-making machine for a guy old enough to be my dad. You should have thought about it earlier, but you can’t always have it all.

7) Men complain that women are misleading in describing their body type online. We won’t get into the whole range of body image issues that women have- they exist and wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have them. On the other hand- spending all of your spare time watching sports and drinking beer rarely leads to a masculine body type that is described as “athletic”, yet so many of you describe yourselves that way. Huhm- pot meet kettle.

8) Putting lol after everything you write makes you seem like a giggling idiot, not a funny guy. Putting lol into the 3rd email you’ve sent me with no response from me (i/e lol I’m still trying lol I’m really a nice guy lol why won’t you write me back lol) makes you seem like a giggling idiot stalker.

9) Most girls actually like sex (I do) but if you start asking me about “the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done” before you’ve asked me about anything else or if sex is all you can talk about- you are a giant bore. Trust me, I have probably done most naughty things that you can imagine (yes I’ve done THAT, and THAT and probably THAT too) but you won’t be doing any of those things with me if you can’t talk about anything more interesting than where you want to stick your penis. I know where you want to stick your penis, there are only a limited number of options for that. There are, however, limitless options for discussing books or music or art or politics or travel or or or.....

10) Do not write your profile as a command to your future girlfriend. I/e "You will be a hot blonde who weighs under 110lbs and has DD breasts. You will be the type of woman is a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. You will love me in spite of the fact that I hold your head under the sheets when I fart and leave skid marks in my underwear that you will lovingly wash for me." If you write a profile like a command- You will be the type of guy that deserves a stiletto up his ass.