Saturday, October 03, 2009

Consider me cosigned

I'm not always great about recognizing ableist language, either coming out of my mouth or someone else's.

But that's my problem, one for me to work on, because I am an ally. It is my job to think before I speak (or type) and stop myself from using words that harm people unintentionally. Intent to harm is not required to be an asshole.

And because I am an ally I cosign this with the extra promise that I will work harder to recognize ablism in myself and to smack down others who use ableist language on my blog or in my presence.

H/t to Ouyang Dan

Friday, October 02, 2009

Fun with email

From another brilliant email from the lovely Gidget Commando (I'd totally do her taxes!)

I just posted over at Echidne on the following when it came up in a serious post about some DC shenanigans. Thought you would appreciate:

Why is a word for male genitalia synonymous with strength and courage while a word for female genitalia is synonymous for weakness and cowardice?

The last time I checked, a "pussy" could--without any prior strength training or conditioning--squeeze a full-term infant out of a passageway usually no bigger around than the average adult human schwang. "Balls," on the other hand, retreat up into the body cavity at nothing more frightening than the application of cold water.

I rest my case.
Gidget Commando

Seriously peeps- pussies push babies out. Kinda opposite of weak. For the dudes- can you imagine pushing 5 to 10 (or more) pounds out of your ass?

Didn't think so.

Why are taxes so complicated?

Darling OtherCousin* has neglected to do her taxes for many many years. In her defense, she is disabled and thought that Social Security and payments from a disability settlement are not taxable. (uhmmm no)

I am not afraid of taxes. Mountains of math and scary paperwork do not send me running for the hills, because I know a secret**.

Taxes are complicated (only if you have money) not to screw people with money out of it, but to give people with money a thousand tiny ways to pay less in taxes. The lower on the totem pole you go wage wise, the simpler your tax forms get. The higher up, the more complicated. I've filled out an alphabet soup of schedules and a number pie of forms.

So with the IRS looming, I've spent the last few days bogged down in paperwork just so we can prove that OtherCousin does not owe the IRS 200k and the life blood of her first born child. And after all that work we came up with the best number we could hope for.

Zero. Nada, zilch. No taxes owed. Nothing to see here.

Now we just have to do the same for 2006-2008, and get her better at saving receipts for 2009.

(OtherCousin* would be Wonder's sister.)

**Also- I have superhero powers at wading through bureaucracy. I've out HUDed housing authorities and out FDIC'd bankers. I almost made a bank manager cry once. No shit.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Art does not excuse rape

go sign the petition Bitchez!

Teaspoons ahoy and all that.


Everybody on this list:

Fuck you.

No, seriously, fuck you.

I'm pretentious movie snob. I not only know who most of you are, but I'm you're prime fricken audience. (Except you Woody Allen, I've thought you were a douche since forever). I love subtitles and subtext. I like complicated plots with no clear happy ending. I will pay money to see that shit, but I won't step foot in a theater to see to see whatever ode to American machismo is playing at the moment (see Apatow, Judd).

I'm now going to take a page from Tiger Beatdown
. I won't spend one thin dime to see a movie any of you all make. Oh I'll still get my fill of foreign drama and intellectually challenging stories from you all. But you ain't gonna see a penny of profit from it.

Because I don't give money to rapists, and I don't give money to rape apologists.

And really y'all, have you read the vicitm's deposition? It wasn't statutory rape- it was rape -rape, contrary to Whoopie's POV. She was a little girl, she was drugged and drunk, and she said no. She asked him to take her home, she lied about having asthma to get away from him. He ignored her. She said no to kissing, and he kissed her any ways. She said no to oral sex, and he did it anyways. She said no vaginal sex, and he did it anyways. She said no to anal sex and he did it anyways.

And then he plead guilty to rape, because he IS guilty of rape.

So all you other talented artists can now complain about how your rape apologism for another talented artist has robbed you of some much needed cash. I bet more than a coupleof you will be whinging about how us puritanical Americans are "raping you" by downloading your movies without paying.

But like I said at the beginning- fuck all y'all.

And P.S. to Sam Mendes and Darren Aronofsky- I'm thrilled to bits to not see your wives names on that list.

P.P.S. Kevin Smith and the guy from Heroes are getting all my cash from now on. I don't care if Smith is directing toilet scrubber commercials, I will buy a warehouse full of toilet scrubbers. Because it is that important to me that rapists not be allowed to get away with rape.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I have never met the scary rapist in the bushes

but I've been raped.

I also know lots of women who have been raped, none of them have met the scary rapist in the bushes either.

The men who hurt women and girls are rarely the kind of men we expect to hurt women and girls. They aren't ugly monsters who live under bridges. They are brilliant film makers or much loved musicians. They are men you would be proud to know. They are men that you call "friend" or "father" or "husband" or "brother" or "son". They are "nice guys" or "genius" or "determined" or "ambitious" or "talented" or any number of other adjectives we use to describe men we like. They are pastors and teachers and doctors and judges. They are men with power over someone.

It is long past time when we let go of the idea that only certain types of men are rapists, the scary dark alley kind. My rapists wasn't a scary dark alley type, he was a much loved musician type.

Until we start seeing a thing for what it is, we cannot figure out how to stop it. Rape is an act committed by someone with power over someone else. That's it. It doesn't require the rapist to be creepy looking or boogeymannish.