Friday, October 31, 2008

Hopey Changey?

It's a very surreal position I am in right now.

For the first time since FDR, someone in my family isn't voting for the Democrat. And that someone is me. Four years ago, I couldn't even imagine it. 8 years ago, I was screaming at Nader voters for their betrayal.

But I can't vote for Obama. The sexism was/is too much. The kowtowing to Republican beliefs is too much. The horrendous economic policies are too much. I wonder if I was in a swing state like dear Wonder and family, if I could hold as fast to my beliefs. But I am luckily in a dark blue state, so I am not faced with that dilemma.

But I do have hope. For two reasons.

First, regardless of what happens on next Tuesday, the long Bush nightmare is over. No more Commander Chimpy. No more Darth Cheney. No more Mad Cowboy Disease. No more of this horrible dystopia. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief on that one.

Second, I have hope not because of Obama, but because of the people he has inspired. The poly sci idealist in me gets teared up at the sheer number of people who are involved in the goings on of their government right now. (Granted a good number of those people are like my asshole stalker, but not all). This is what democracy is supposed to look like. People being involved in the decisions made at the top. People caring enough to do the hard work that democracy requires. It is not enough to vote.

Political science is the study of how people distribute power. Democracy is supposed to be the mass diffusion of this power to the people, so they can have power over their own lives. As a feminist, seeing people step up and accept that power makes me giddy. It's a big responsibility, and sometimes it's soooo much easier to let someone else do the hard work.

So come what may, I will celebrate next Tuesday. I spent about an hour and a half arguing with the Puppy last night (it's foreplay for me, people) while he tried one more time to "sell me on Obama". That ship has done sailed. But Tuesday night is all about an end to the horrors of Bush and a moment when the American people have accepted their responsibility for guiding their own lives.

That is worth at least a couple of vodka tonics, maybe even some champagne.

Scariest costume ever

I dare you to come up with something scarier than the Kid's costume this year. I really don't think you can, his idea was just that terrifyingly good.

Can you guess what might be the scariest costume of 2008?

Sarah Palin in a bikini with a gun- NOPE

McCain making air quotes around everything- NOPE

A Diebold voting machine- NOPE.

My brilliant child (proving that apples don't fall far) is dressed up as a Wall Street Banker today. His hair is slicked back all American Psycho style, he has fake money bulging out of his suit pockets.

Yeah- see if you can beat that.

For Ouyangdan

Who doesn't know her Clash. This is a public service announcement- WITH GUITAR!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

What if you had a party, but nobody came?

Make a Point at

So 10k to not have sex. And there are no takers. This should definitively prove that there is nooooooooo form of abstinence education that actually works. I mean the federal government can't even give away enough money to make people not have sex.

I think it would be better to say, I dunno, put that money into bringing down the fucking outrageous cost of birth control.

But what do I know, I'm a slutty girl with a lady brain.

It's funny cause it's true!

Sent to me by Ouyandan, who is evilly delicious (or deliciously evil- you pick)

It's funny cause it's true

Another momentary bitch

I picked up my birth control prescription today (Nuva ring if you're wondering. I love my Nuva Ring. They will have to pry it from my cold dead hands if they want to take it away).

Used to be about $30 a month. I got 3 months worth.

For $190


That's more than double.

The best speech Obama's ever given

Seriously, it's brilliant. Inspiring even.

ITT nailed

Courtesy of Donna Darko

carmonn: One thing that gets on my nerves is the need to make everything into a feminist issue, as if feminism is a catch all for all social justice issues.
Violet: And of course what’s really going on there is the patriarchal
brainwashing that women’s rights don’t deserve to be an issue on their own, and “good” women should instead be concerned about other issues (ones that involve men).
So every issue gets its own movement: gay rights, racism, anti-war,
poverty, prison reform, environmentalism — except women’s rights. Women can’t have a movement just devoted to women’s rights. No, in order to be intellectually credible to the patriarchy they have to focus on cleaning up all the OTHER messes.
Then, after the men have eaten and left the table, maybe
the women will get to sit down. After they’ve done the dishes of

Now me and the Queen have butted head about this more than once. Go read DD's piece, I have nothing more to say than what she already said.

Did you ever

It has come to my attention that what men need is clear, concrete guidelines for what is rape or sexual assault or just plain sexist doochebaggery. We women have spent a lot of time trying to get men to empathize with what being raped feels like, but perhaps it might be made more clear to them if they saw their own actions through our eyes.

Below the fold could be triggering for some people.

Did you ever..

Yell at a girl on the street. You know, you're just complimenting her on her looks, fine ass, whatever. Did it ever actually get you a date? (I'm going with "no" since I have yet to meet a single couple whose story starts with "he was street harassing me about my jiggly titties") When you yell at a girl on the street, most likely she is going to try and pretend she didn't hear you. That is our self defense kicking in. It's also a reminder that we can never expect to go outside of our homes and go about our business without fear. We fear you when you do this. We do not see it as a compliment. Do you want to be the doochebag that girls fear and ignore? You belong on Holla Back because you are a creep.

Try to cop a feel on a girl who you weren't in the middle of making out with? It's just a game, just a joke, to you. But to us it's a humiliating reminder that we don't get to control who touches us. This is middle school, boys will be boys bra snapping and ass grabbing to you. It's not so fun for us. You are sexually assaulting someone when you do that.

Keep asking a girl out after she told you no or put you off. Did she tell you she had a boyfriend and you said "that doesn't matter". Imaginary boyfriends (or real ones for that matter) are another self protection device. We use them when a guy won't take no for an answer and we want to be nice (because being mean can get us hurt).You are bordering on creepy stalker territory.

Get all worked up cause a girl was dancing/ flirting/ whatever and didn't actually ask if the girl was just dancing/ flirting/ whatever and assumed that those things meant guaranteed sex? Did you think that the girl was asking for trouble by doing that? That kind of thinking is the equivalent of assuming every single person you have ever shaken hands with want to go into business with you or hire you for a job. You are, at best, a rape apologist. At worse- a future rapist.

While messing around try to take things to the next step and have your hand moved away? Did you wait a few minutes and try the same move over? To you, it's just perseverance. To us, moving your hand away was a clear sign that we don't want to go any further. Everytime you keep trying after that reminds us that our own limits aren't respected. Every time you move your hand (or mouth or whatever) to somewhere she doesn't want it to be- you are sexually assaulting her.

Take a "No" or "Not right now" for a maybe. Did you keep trying to change her mind? Did you think that if you just kept at it, she might give in? Were you confused because she is ok with kissing or whatever, but won't go further, and you thought maybe you just needed to try a little harder to get her in the mood? If she did give in- at the very least what you got was pity sex. More likely you harassed her and wore her down until it was easier to give in than to keep fighting you. Is that how you want to remembered, as the asshole who just kept pushing until she did something she didn't want? Wearing someone down until they can no longer say no makes you a rapist.

Did you try to bargain your way out of a "no" with a "how about a nice back rub" or "what about just a blow job" instead? You're no better than the asshole above.

sleep with a girl who was maybe a bit too drunk? Maybe she didn't even seem *that* drunk at first. Maybe she was blurry but kissing you at first. Or maybe more than kissing. Did you keep going after the point when it was plainly clear she was too drunk (vomiting is a good clue, inability to walk is another) Did she pass out in the middle and you took her earlier actions and her lack of ability to say no now as an ok to finish what you started? Maybe it didn't even get to sex. Maybe you just felt her up a little? You are a rapist.

This is by no means the sum total of all possible situations where rape/ sexual assault/ doochebaggery occur. It's just a few of those fuzzy "grey" areas which aren't so fuzzy when you think about consent.

It's time you boys stopped treating anything less than a No as a maybe. Yes means yes, everything else means trouble.

What was that about worshiping false idols?

Some Christians, once again showing neither a sense of irony or literacy, say prayers over a golden bull on wall street.

Huhm, where have I heard something about religious types being punished for worshiping false idols? Where was that again?

Something, golden calf, Moses, something.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How Bloggers Waste Time (We waste a lot of it)

Open for Ridiculousness

ME: Hola chiquita!

OUYANGDAN:: what is up?
so i told the Kid that I would pull her out of school for a couple of hours to go vote w/ me

ME: cool
I always take The Kid with me

OUYANGDAN:: she was sooooo excited!

ME: Kid was the first time. Now he brings a book and ignores me

OUYANGDAN:: she was all "really! i can help you help pick the president?"

ME: sweet!

OUYANGDAN:: she is learning about presidents at school and was so friggin excited. she gets excited over the stangest things

ME: that's not strange. I still get excited over voting

OUYANGDAN:: i do just didn't occur to me that she would get excited
so i offered to take her w/ me
and told her that she could ask me all the questions she wanted

ME: that's soooo sweet. Dear gawd i want to eat your child
I'm dressing up as red riding hood because all the creativity I can muster is tying a red bedsheet over a black dress

OUYANGDAN:: works for me. i'm gonna be alice cooper b/c i have eyeliner
ME: Sweet!

EDITED FOR PICS OF OD’s bloody roommate

OUYANGDAN:: i know. he came home drunk monday night, w/ a new mohawk and demanded I bring the camera to forever collect how he is coming out of anesthesia

ME: Oh dear gawd- is he 15?

OUYANGDAN:: almost...23

ME: Ahhhh
They don't become fully human till 24 or 25

OUYANGDAN:: i certainly hope so. hahaha
ME: wait- how old is The Guy?

OUYANGDAN:: he will be 24 in feb

ME: Haha- you married a baby!

in fact do just that

ME: I can't tease you too much. I'm sleeping with a puppy
a very very sexy puppy

OUYANGDAN:: how old is puppu?

ME: 27- but subtract a few years for lack of experience

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha
that is only a little younger than me!

ME: I know!

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha

ME: I just told him I'm a cougar and then did the meow/ claw thing
It was cute

OUYANGDAN:: i bet!

ME: I just want to devour him

OUYANGDAN:: facial pubes and all

ME: The facial pubes are nice actually. Not at all scratchy and lots of fun to play with
Plus- I've seen pics of him without the facial pubes- he looks like a stoned surfer. NOt HOT

ME: So ruth thinks I need to write a WHole Foods Shopper Manfiesto

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha
good idea
like on how to shop well on little or what?

ME: Nooooo- a satire about how fucking awful the uptight obsessives are there
and i say this as a person who will eat my own weight in whole foods butter chicken

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha...i know what you mean. it was awful in california
the aisles were so small and i was always having to squeeze past people, and they would look at me like i was some leper who had just touched them

ME: And their kids! The worst behaved spoiled brats in the universe!

ME: Someone just paid off the rest of my rent $

OUYANGDAN:: wow! yay!
about the rent. not the bratty kids

ME: yes

OUYANGDAN:: good for you!

ME: someone who i don't know promised me last week (when i still needed a grand) that she wouldcover whatever was left this week

OUYANGDAN:: awww. that is sweet.
very very sweet

ME: I know
now I am all gooey inside

OUYANGDAN:: you are boring when you are gooey ;)
not really...i just had to say that

ME: I can't hold a clear argument in my head. I don't know if it's too much sex (or almost sex- weve taken to dry humping in his car for privacy) or the fact that the world is no longer a cold and lonely place. But my head is all super gooey

OUYANGDAN:: well it is a nice break
however long it lasts
you could use less stress and more something to distract you from shitty stuff

ME: Yep- I'm a realist. It'll be back to sucking sooner or later
did I tell you i started getting child support again?

OUYANGDAN:: you told me you got a stray payment. is it recurring?

ME: 3 regular checks so far

OUYANGDAN:: wow. sudden but welcomed!

ME: Oh hell yeah It almost doubles my income
OUYANGDAN:: and that is a lot
gah i can't type

ME: gahhhh!
I must go feed the nicotine beast a smokey lung treat
back in 5

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha...OK

ME: miss me?

OUYANGDAN:: like the sun

ME: awe
I'm watching samantha b talk about McCain's air quote

OUYANGDAN:: hahaha. she is so funny

ME: I just love her. And Sarah Haskins.
And Tina Fey and Amy Pohler
Who was that asswipe who said women aren't funny?

OUYANGDAN:: no idea. i love it when people pull out the "well, this isn't that big of a deal, not like issue X that is going on around the world"

ME: Ughhhhh

OUYANGDAN:: or "i am an activist for Y and I don't think this is that bad

ME: I hate that
OUYANGDAN:: like good ol elspeth here

ME: that's the whole- well it;s not offensive to ME- so it's not offensive argument

OUYANGDAN:: i hate that
i really really do. i hate how presumptive it is to tell me what i should be "wasting my time" addressing

ME: Puppy and I were talking about abortion today. He said "I'm trying to go at this from a scientific, philosophical aspect"
I said "How nice that you can be philosophical about something that directly effects my body. What a luxury for you

OUYANGDAN:: pretty much
is PG porn hurting tons of people around the world? maybe not. does it make it seem like it's ok to laugh at the accidental death of a woman who's only crime was liking sex?

ME: And is it from people who should fucking know better? Because they've done pretty pro-feminist stuff before?

OUYANGDAN:: pretty much

OUYANGDAN:: I have actually thought about writing to Nathan Fillion to express my disappointment, but it doesn't come out right
(he's my friend on MySpace)

ME: Dear nathan Fillion-
I used to think you were the hottest thing ever. And I massively respected you for being in the very girl friendly Firefly series
And i had high hopes for PG porn.
But dude- violence against women, NOT FUNNY
Please resume your former hotness

OUYANGDAN:: have a way w/ words

ME: That is why I am an unpaid writer. If I was a complete hack I'd make a million dollars a year

I've got a golden ticket!

Samantha B- I lurve you!

House fund!

Thanks to a lovely donor who finished off the last bit- I have all the house money now.

You peeps are so sweet i could microwave you all.

Dear California

It's come to my attention that you have two super awful initiatives on your ballot. Since I can't write at the moment, please see the below post for explanation on why prop 4 & prop 8 are seriously bad ideas.

First prop 4 and why parental notification laws are stupid things. Complete with bits of my own horrible history. Ohhh tawdry!

Next prop 8- The Veil of Ignorance (aka the right to live, love, fuck and marry whomever you want)

Now in Washington state we have a little initiative on the ballot about physician assisted suicide. I am pro. It goes with that whole body sovereignty thing. It's my body, if I'm done using it I should get to choose that. But if any of you peeps want to argue why I shouldn't be for it- have at it in comments. I'm in need of a good debate to break the happy ennui.

Kitchen Music

Since I'm trapped in the ennui of happiness I thought I'd share a few of the tunes I like to belt out in the kitchen. Today it's all about Rufus Wainwright. Who I love. In that I want him to be my new best gay boyfriend kinda way.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk (Also my weak spots Rufus! We should be besties!)


And a twofer for the Torchwood fans out there- Instant Pleasure with clips of Captain Jack and Ianto

A funny thing happened

My faith in humanity got restored recently. And it turns out that it is nearly impossible for me to work up the righteous indignation I need to write while I'm busy being so damn fucking happy. Yes- I am fully aware that the last couple things I wrote meandered into incomprehensible babble.

But in my heart I'm still a realist. So given enough time and stupidity, I am sure the world will be set to right and I will go back to being my normal cranky self.

In the mean time- A Movie Review.

Last night I went and saw Street Fight. It was an awesome movie. If you think all Democrats are full of shiny bright love for democracy, you should see this movie. Cory Booker is the kind of real hope and change, down in the trenches politician I can get behind. And for once, the Big Puppy and I agreed on something political.

That said, I've been thinking about the presidential election. You all have nooooooo idea how much I want to be able to vote for Obama. Hell, I think I will be the first member of my family since Roosevelt to NOT vote for the Democrat. But I can't. I can't get behind the idea that Obama is the change we've been waiting for. Every time I try to push aside my doubts, something else comes screaming at me.

This election for me is the equivalent of leaving a church community. It's like quitting Catholicism after a lifetime of mass and rosaries and confession. But my conscience won't let me take the easy way out. Damn conscience. Always messing up the easy way.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Some anthropology for you peeps

So the Big Puppy and I were talking about how male dominance came into play to begin with. He said he read some book about how the plow is the reason men are boss, because plowing apparently gives women miscarriages and men started suddenly being the major food providers.

Dear fucking god, when are they going to stop giving academic hacks who use outdated theories publishing deals?

Here's the thing- that whole Big Man Bring Home the Bacon thing never really existed. Women have traditionally brought in the bulk of food. And there wasn't some "men are the manly ones who kill the meat" thing either.

We humans started as fucking scavengers people. You know, like vultures. We ran in after a bigger animal killed a smaller animal and then we sucked out the marrow from the bones. And that is how we became protein fattened ominvores.

And when we became hunters in our own right, it wasn't a lone fucking spearman in the jungle. We worked as a tribe, men and women together, to run the beast down until it was too tired to fight anymore. Group fucking effort requiring every last one of us.

But let's ignore the meat part for a second. It's only in recent decades of mass production that meat has become a daily staple. It used to be, for the majority of people, a special occasion/ seasonal only thing. The daily food was/is women's work. The grains, the veggies, the fruits. The picking of, grinding of, preserving of, cooking of.

This is where that women do 90% of the labor in the world but own only 10% of the resources number comes in. It starts with hunter/gatherers. There has always been a lot more gathering going on than hunting.

And it turns out that one of the most awesome human developments was not big manly spear hunter dude- but grandmothers who went through menopause. OMG- you mean dried up old crones are useful! Who knew? (Well every single new mom who ever had their own mother come help out does, but why take the experience of people with lady brains into account?)

So wait- how does this show where male dominance comes into history? Violet's got some ideas, but I think it's a matter of work load.

People like to talk about the division of labor. It's a big deal, division of labor. When tasks become specialized, societies become more complex. We have this idea that this where men went out and did specialized jobs like pottery or hunting or weapon making while all the women did was cook the bacon brought back by the dudes. Except women were doing the same work men were. If their family farmed, they learned farming and worked in the fields. If their family made pots, they learned to stoke the kilns. And while they were at it, they also managed to have babies and feed their families. There was no take out, no grocery store, no deli, to provide ready prepared meals. You cannot specialize out the actual providing of food, at least not until McDonald's shows up.

So women have been crazy busy with the whole helping us evolve by making sure that we are born and fed and men might be a wee bit grouchy that no matter what they do- they can't top the whole giving life thing.

So they use the spare time they have while we are birthing babies and cooking dinner to think of ways they are powerful too. Look, women get all big and round and slow at the end of pregnancy! Men don't. Look women are generally shorter than us! And not as bulky in the upper arm area! And too many pregnancies can make them weak or even dead!

End if you need even more proof that it is workload- I give you the following videos.

1st- because I cannot embed (and sorry OD- It's a link to Jezebel. I lurveee you!) Woman do all the work- via Of all the fucking places- MTV

Then Sarah haskins shows us all about feeding your fucking family

And let's just contrast that with a commercial that was PULLED off the air in the UK because a guy took on the girly role of feeding his fucking family and being all gay.

A momentary bitch please

I bought a little yogurt sized thing of potato salad for lunch and grabbed a plastic spoon to eat it.

I opened the container (one of those foil type pull off lids that can never be re-closed) and then accidentally snapped the spoon in half.

Now I can't close up the potato salad and save it for later, and I can't actually use the spoon to eat it. So I am sitting here trying to stab potato salad with a spoon handle instead.


New Housing Update

Just $170 to go people.

I'm sending big smoochy kisses to every one of you!

Monday, October 27, 2008

They aren't kidding about that $ death rally

I just checked exchange rates and DAMNNNN.

When I went to Paris last March I ended up with an exchange rate of about one Euro to $1.80 (published rate was $1.55 I think)

Now it's about $1.24 per Euro. That's even lower than when I first went to Europe in 2005.

And the GBP is at about $1.55. That's down almost 50 cents.

The end times, they be coming.

One more reason to move to Argentina

The press has come up with some pretty fucking proggy rules for reporting violence against women.

You hear that America! That's the sound of a latin, machismo based culture kicking your ass in evolution!

Won't You Please Think of the Poor Memes!

Ouyandan did it! I swear. She's a bit of teh evil, that one.

Two memes for the price of one!

6 Things About Me.

Teh Rulz:

1. Link to the person who tagged you

2. Post the rules on your blog

3. Write six random things about yourself

4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them

5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

6. Let the instigator (in this case, Renee) know when your entry is up.

On to the good stuff.

1. I am afraid of weird shit touching my feet, which is why I cannot stand to walk on grass or swim in natural places because I am 100% sure that tiny, ghastly critters will EAT MY FEET!

2. I never ever use a brush on my hair. Ever. On the rare occasions when a hair stylist person cuts it, they marvel because I have very long healthy hair without a single split end. I also don't use conditioner unless it's winter.

3. I sing while I cook, loudly. Since I am going to be sharing a kitchen for the first time in my adult life, I am worried about how my new roomies will take to my kitchen crooning.

4. I collect luggage like some girls collect purses. I have a vintage trunk, some old Samsonite hardcases, a full set of eggplant colored wheelys and my tiny pink travel pack that I can carry 3 weeks worth of clothes (while still fitting it in the overhead compartment).

5. I smell like a french pastry. My perfume is made of vanilla, coconut and heliotrope.
I'd much rather smell like something someone wants to eat than something someone just wants to sniff at for awhile.

6. I cannot pee if I think a boy can hear me. I am working on overcoming this (one bathroom- 5 people, 3 guys, YES we do pee while people are showering).

Ok, now 8 places IN THE US that I would pick to live that are in the US (or your own country of origin)

I don't like this one- so I am not going to follow the rules. I want to live in OTHER countries.

1. Trieste, Italy because it's where they import all the coffee to be roasted in Europe and the air smells awesome.

2. Barcelona for the food (olives, jamon serrano and cava being 3 of my favorite things)

3. Campeche, Mexico- it's a gorgeous candy colored sea side town with a kick ass local baseball team.

4. Anywhere in Greece (you all know what archeology does to me, right?)

5. Udaipur, India _ because I can't get over my love of the hot Indian boys

6. Budapest, Hungary- natural hotsprings all over the city, meaty red wines and it's where my dimpled nose and cooking skills come from.

7. Buenos Aires! To learn to tango from the origin, natch

8. San Francisco- for the schools.

I tag Soopermouse, Redstar, Pocochina, Quin, Rabble Rouser and Annabelle