Friday, May 20, 2011

Jamie Dimon is (still) a horse's ass

though that is probably being to hard on horses. You might remember Mr. Dimon as the fuckface who went to Davos and complained about us poors calling him mean names. Sticks and stones Jamie. If you don't want to be called a lying, thieving asswipe bankster then stop being one.

So today he's whinging on about how if we default on the national debt it's a moral disaster or something. The good news is that in comments on the Gawker piece Modern Monetary Theory is being bandied about a little bit.

(Do we need a quick and dirty guide on the national debt? I could do one if you all would like.)

Consider this an open place to rage

against the assholes, douchebags and fuckwads who are currently causing strife in your life. Be specific. Be vague. Just let it out. That said.....

God damn fucking useless loser! You are less useful than hot shit on a sunny day and you probably smell worse. Underneath the definition of deadbeat in the dictionary is your picture. I know you always like to be thought of as the good guy, but good you ain't. Useless, pathetic, weasely, overgrown man-child. For fucks sake, you are nearly 40! Pay your fucking child support you giant shithead. If you think your kid just simply doesn't notice the difference between when child support is paid and when it isn't, you're a bigger asshole than I give you credit for. Of course he notices, but then he's a wee bit quicker on the uptake than you are. You are quite simply a waste of a skin bag. May you be blessed with a flesh eating bacteria.

Now, deep calming breath in. And out. One thing I learned is that it is important to figure out why you are actually angry and focus your energy on that actual source rather than ignoring or minimizing it. So focus and release. I actually feel a bit better now and can probably finally get to sleep.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Evening Song

Too many boy bands lately. Must have some girls.

100 Percent

For some reason the news bunnies think that knowing what the American populace thinks Osama Bin Laden got after death is important. Did he get his 72 virgins? Did he end up in heaven or hell?

Well I can be pretty sure, without even doing a poll, that 100% of atheists think that Bin Laden didn't get his promised virgins.

I am also sure that 99% of this blog's regular readers are smarter than all the Fox News viewers put together (I have to leave the 1% for stalkers and trolls).

JSmooth Makes My Ovaries Quiver

Mildly dated Chris Brown rant, but still awesome.

The Conservative Bootstrap Single Mom Dreamboat

Once upon a time, Ouyang Dan and I decided to watch an episode of Gilmore Girls together via the magic of the interwebs (what with her in Korea and me in Seattle, watching in the same room would be difficult). This is where the name Conservative Bootsrap Single Mom Dreamboat comes from.

Here's the thing about Lorelei Gilmore, a character created by Amy Sherman Palladino who was a co-producer on Rosanne, she's a Republican's wet dream of a single teenage mom. She "chose life" instead of an abortion. She works as a hotel maid instead of collecting either Welfare or child support. She has one kid and then seemingly doesn't have sex again until Rory is a sophmore in high school, with a man she eventually gets engaged to (and dumps at the alter). And this is all from a progressive tv show.

So when polls come out that say more people approve of gay marriage than of single mothers, I'm not shocked. Judging by pop culture alone, single moms are either of the conservative dream boat model or a hideous creature on display in Law and Order type shows who are abusive and mentally unstable (in the tv version of mentally unstable, which is a whole nother ball of oppression right there). There is a very tiny box that single mothers have to fit themselves into in order to be approved. That box includes:

1) Never ever have sex or a romantic relationship unless you're sure it will lead to marriage. (True fact, I've had progressive friends apologize for having been douchebags because I have a sex life. I'm lucky to have gotten the apology, most don't). But you better choose wisely, if you have sex and marriage and babies with more than one person, you're a whore and a bad mom.
2) Only bitches and gold digging whores go after child support. If you can't live without child support (and 70% of us do) then you shouldn't have spread your legs.
3) Every child you have increases the amount of disdain society has for you. Every child you have with different fathers increases societies' disdain for you exponentially. This doesn't work in reverse though. See Donald Trump or various NBA stars.
4) You should be ready, willing and able to apologize for your unwed status when children ask questions. Not to do so is like child abuse. You should probably also apologize to adults as well, just in case. I had a boss who was a conservative Catholic with a son in Catholic school. The son once asked me where my husband was (I don't have one)then how do you have a baby (you don't actually have to be married to have a child) at which point I realized that I should probably make nice or lose my job (but it's better to be married if you have kids) so I had to spout lines I don't actually believe and know for a fact to be false.
5) Your children can never ever make a mistake, or it will show just how much of a loser you are. Children are not actual people, but an extension of their parent(s) and the children of a single mom will obviously be liars, thieves and strippers (per Ann Coulter).
6) You must always be submissive to the dominant theme of marriage and then babies, and grateful that society lets you dirty up the place with your whorish ways and bastard children. To be angry about shit like being paid less than a woman without children (which is still less than a man) is not ok. To lobby for a better social safety net makes you a Welfare Queen. To point out the failures of both Welfare Reform and child support collection makes you a lazy bitch.
7)You will be subject to more interference from "official" types, like school counselors etc. Because obviously single parenthood alone is enough of a marker for abuse & neglect type situations. I don't know anyone who was abused in a two parent home (cough*bullshit*cough).

These are just the top of my head, back of the envelope examples.

For the first time ever- I could see myself on a reality tv show!

(It's the new fall lineup announcements, so you get tv posts)

New show- H8R will feature celebrities confronting people who hate them. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLLLLLEEEAAAASSEEE LLLEEEET ITTT BEEEE MEEEE!
I want to confront Gwyneth Paltrow so bad I am practically bouncing like a kid in school with their hand raised that has to pee. I think I could make her cry, and that would be awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that's enough over-enthusiastic expando typing for one post.

Delurking day!

I know you're out there, reading quietly to yourself like polite people do. I know that sometimes it's a little intimidating to post comments at places you don't normally comment. But like most (ALL) writers and bloggers I like the feedback and chatter. So drop a little hello in comments. I promise to be nice.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Lady Cop TV is about to get AWESOME!!!!

I already love me some lady cops shows. The Closer and In Plain Sight are two of my favorite currents. The Closer is getting a spinoff with President Roslin herself (Mary McDonnell) taking her Captain Raydor to Major Crimes. TV is always a better place with more of her on it.

In my love of Lady Cop shows, Prime Suspect is probably the first and the standard that I hold them too. It's getting Americanized and Maria Bello is about the only actress (not currently playing a cop on TV) that I could see channeling Helen Mirren.

Now if I could just get USA to stop with the month long lag they have on posting shows online, I could be getting my In Plain Sight fix, as the new season has just started. Bitchy ladies with guns, OMG it's like heaven minus the asswipes.


Oh joy! In the midst of massive disemployment Dear Leader has decided to bestow upon us the benefits of free trade agreements with Columbia, Panama and South Korea. This will make JOBS (though not for us) and because this will make JOBS, these agreements cannot be passed unless they include expanded benefits for those who will lose their jobs will need to transition to NEW JOBS.

Color me surprised that Dear Leader is once again siding with BIG INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS over us little people. This is what 2% less evil gets you. It's still evil. But evil with compassion.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Happy Songs- the dammit Sylvie edition

I seriously did not need more Swedish pop music in my life. And yet, this song has been stuck in my head for days.

It's been a while since we oggled the hotties- scifi edition

So this is Jason Momoa, who used to be on Stargate Atlantis (and also has one damn sexy voice) and may be the only thing in the universe that could convince me to watch a remake of Conan the Barbarian.

Daniel Dae Kim, formerly of Lost, currently of Hawaii 5.0
And we can always use another shirtless Tahmoh Penikett picture. ALWAYS!

So hetero ladies and non-hetero dudes, what boys have got your panties moist?

Hear fucking hear to Vermont's Single Payer Law!

So the idea is to promote Vermont's new law as much as possible, so maybe the big boy lefty blogs see that us unterbussen don't give a shit that they think the deficit is an actual problem.

I read the Corrente post just after reading a brief update from Arthur Silber, who is easily the most moral person I have ever read. And dammit, he's going to die sooner than he should ever have to because he can't get medical care. I can't help but think that is some seriously fucked up shit. Kill of the morally righteous so that douchebags in tacky blue suits can give bigger douchebags in fancy Italian suits fatter paychecks. (I can't find it now, but a year after "health care reform" the insurance companies are getting record level profits because poor Americans can't afford the copays and deductibles. So they skip getting treatment. FUCKERSSSSSS- the health care companies, not the people. Obvs)

Medicare for all is the only moral, economical, and efficient way to combat this shit.

The Incredible Turbomuffin

I just had a lovely lunch date with a very charming guy who has the sexiest voice I have ever heard on a man. So sexy, in fact, that using that voice he was able to convince me to do the silly voices I normally reserve for entertaining children and terrifying drunks. At one point, I forgot a really simple word (regulation) and spent a good 2 minutes trying to figure it out. "It's like oversight, it's what the EPA does, blah blah blah." He responded with "turbomuffin?", hence the blog post. Now if he googles the word he'll be able to figure out who I am. (And yes, I think it's perfectly appropriate to discuss Adam Smith on the first date.)

Not that long ago, I decided to stop giving potential dates the blog name because it gave them a bit of an unfair advantage. They'd know way more about me than I would about them. And while this little blog is pretty open and honest about who I am and what I believe, it loses something in translation from 3 dimensional Lizzie to 2 dimensional Red Queen. So sexy-voiced dude, if you google and decided to read ahead, remember that. I like to think I'm more charming in person.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Dating and Politics

I've never been a believer in unrequited love. Well, it's not that I don't believe in it, it happens I am sure. I just refuse to waste any time or consideration on anyone who isn't at least as interested in me as I am in them. The biggest turn off in the world to me is disinterest.

Depending on your views of romance, this has served me pretty well. I haven't spent huge chunks of time pining for someone who would never love me back. I also haven't had lengthy psuedo-relationships with manipulative asswipes who run hot and cold. perhaps this is what made it relatively easy for me to spot Obama's corporatism and general assholery early on.

Just like in a romantic relationship, my loyalty to a political party or candidate is based purely on their concern for people like me. But that doesn't render me heartless. I feel for poor Cornell West, just like I lend a shoulder to friends who find they've been taken in by a cad.

So to all my brothers and sisters who've been thrown under the bus and know it, here's a shoulder. To those who still refuse to admit it, despite the glaring lack of interest Obama and the Dems at large show for the disemployed, the foreclosed, the uninsured, the uterine possessed and anyone who isn't a board member of a corporation or a bankster it's time to admit the ugly truth. He's just not that into you.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

So the chief of the IMF got arrested for rape

And of course there are conspiracy theorists of all stripes screaming about how Sarkozy set him up because Dominique Strauss-Kahn was all set to run against him as the French Socialist party candidate.

Yes folks, you read that shit right. The head of the IMF, bastion on neoliberal policies designed to screw over the poor and benefit the rich, is a French Socialist.

But here's the thing: once again a powerful man is accused of rape and the world jumps on the woman (see Assange, Julian or Spitzer, Elliot- thought at was prostitution and not rape). This isn't the first time Strauss-Kahn has been in trouble cause of his penis. He had an affair with a subordinate a few years ago that resulted in an investigation and SHE got the can.

It is possible that 1)He's a fucking rapist with a history AND 2) He got set up. At the same time, those things can be true.

But the one thing I am damn sure of is that no one who runs the IMF should call themselves a socialist. While his arrest may look like a good thing for Sarkozy (fucking Sarkozy) in the long run it's a better thing for the French Socialist Party. He could have been their Tony Blair, the best thing to happen to English Tories, or their Obama, the best thing to happen to kleptocrats ever.

Must find motivation

to get dressed and clean the kitchen. People are coming. food will be made. wine will be drunk.

Is it inappropriate to entertain in a bathrobe and towel turban? Can we make this a fashion trend?