Friday, October 20, 2006

5 reasons

why this boy makes me silly

1) We have a thing for the same campy British TV shows like Red Dwarf and The League of Gentlemen
2) He doesn't listen to country music because he doesn't want to support something that is racist. "Have you ever seen the audience at a country music concert, it's a sea of white".
3) When I said I was all Wallace and Grommity about cheese, he got it.
4)He has a filthy, filthy mind. Possibly more filthy than mine. I didn't know that was possible.
5) When he gets excited his London accent gets really thick and it's adorable.

And proof of how silly I am for this boy- I am still not smoking. But the cravings today are killing me so I am playing hermit. I'm even making the kiddo go to the grocery store for dinner because I don't want to be tempted to blow 6 bucks on a pack.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Giant virtual cookie for a dirty old man

When I was south of the border this song was played every hour, on the hour, by every damn radio station from Cancun to Villahermosa to Belize (it was even played on the $2 bus ride we took to cross the border- both there and back).

Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

Did y'all forget what day it is?

It's Fursday! Bring on da funny!

I'm starting with the kind of hoopties I grew up with- big scary trucks. All the cool boys drove trucks with engines so loud you could hear them a mile away. (Oh shit- I am giving away the fact that I grew up in a tiny town- now you will all know that my urban cool was learned as soon as I got to the big city at the ripe old age of 18). I spent many hours with my high school boyfriend and all his friends sitting in the garage while they worked on big scary trucks or putting back together old muscle cars to race. I learned how to grease the hub of a 4 by 4 and what a manifold was. There is a bonus to all this knowledge- I am smarter than the average girl (and a fuck of a lot of boys) when it comes to dealing with mechanics. On at least 2 occasions I have told mechanics exactly what the problem was (alternator on one, starter on the other) and the mechanic then wasted several hours trying to prove me wrong only to have to apologize in the end.

Why I Love Air America

Air America recently filed for bankruptcy protection, supplying fodder for right-wing liars for a few days. Of course, Faux News failed to report that it hemorraghed funds for the first five years of existence, only living off Murdoch's sick plan for media penitration (the same one used in the other markets that he got rich from). Lefties, listeners or not, should be far from discouraged.
I listen to Air America most of the time. Don't feel sorry for me, my computer easily process es multi-streams--I typically listen to LoungeRadio as my other stream. For those in Seattle, stick with the online stream, except between 6 and 9 am; Stephanie Miller is pretty funny.
Speaking of funny, I think Al Franken is one of the funniest men on the planet. He takes self-depricating humor to a new level. The way he gets guest to repeat topics in simpler terms by playing dumb works everytime. At the same time, Al has guests who honestly lift the curtains to reveal what's behind the scenes. Tom Oliphant, Amy Goodman from Democracy Now are regular guests. His show last week linked here included Bob Woodward, of course, but also Frank Rich, who wrote "The Great Story Ever Sold", about how the Bush adminstration stole America. Listening to Al for a week, you can tell how much work goes into his shows. He does his best to provide fair and honest reporting while giving no doubt that he is on the side of humanity. Beyond his show, he and other Air America personalities are guests of the enemies, attempting to stem the lies they use to shaft America.
Yesterday on the Randi Rhodes show, Henry Bechtel called in as a listener. He is a right-wing pastor who just came out with another book that details the thievery perpetuated by the mega-Churches and their axis of evil allies in the Republican party. He called in because he knew that he could be heard on her show. I had never heard of Mr. Bechtel, nor would I have in likelihood have if I just kept my political listening to NPR. Unlike their counterparts, Air America is open to all views, a welcome departure from preaching to the choir.
Air America is here to stay. Progressive radio, not just Air America, is about to take a spot next to the right-wing garbage that now epitomizes talk radio. Progressivism does not mean anti-capitalist. Making money and having a consscience is more difficult, but not impossible.

What I'm Reading Right Now

Got there from here

Also reading this: Alito & the Ken Lay Factor
don't know how i got there. Oh, yeah, googled "Unitary Executive"
Term I found in one of the articles linked to here

better post before my battery crashes.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

No one is dead yet

Three days in and no one is dead or even slightly mutilated. I haven't even yelled at the monkey boy (which is why I quit trying to quit the last time I tried to quit- I was bordering on Joan Crawford levels of scary).

I have this sudden massive swell of energy. I woke up at 6:30 this morning to clean my carpets. I was going to use the carpet cleaner, but instead I got a bucket of hot soapy water and a giant scrub brush and started cleaning the carpet by hand. If I hadn't just quit smoking I would think that I am bi-polar and in the midst of a manic phase. Seriously, who scrubs their entire living room carpet by hand? I got about half-way done this morning and am going to finish tonight. Then I am scrubbing the walls.

And just like DeeK said, my sense of smell has gotten much better. It was pretty good before. I could tell if a car has transmission or antifreeze problems by smell. I have a baker's nose and can sense the fine line when cookies are just done without being burnt on the bottom. I can usually figure out the scents that make up someone's perfume.

But having my sense of smell increase is not actually a good thing. I tried to eat an almost Cobb salad at lunch today (almost Cobb because there was no avocado). The smell of the blue cheese and green onions was overpowering. I love cheese, even blue cheese, but I fear that the intensity of the smells may put me off it forever. And then there is the bus, oh my god. I have been riding the bus for the last 3 years since I gave up my car and got a plush job a seven minute walk from my house. I got on the bus the other day and I thought I would be done in by the smells. It was an unholy combination of cheap cologne, dirty feet, vomit, urine and bad breath. It was like climbing into the body of a homeless giant. Needless to say, I've been walking a lot more.

There is one more weird thing. I am not having the smoking dreams yet, or waking up in the middle of the night dying for a cigarette. Instead I am craving weird food. Last night I woke up a 3am with an unquenchable desire for these chocolate covered cherries I get at Christmas every year from our friends in Atlanta.

I am sure you are all thrilled to bits to be reading the diary of a girl trying to quit smoking (insert knowing look of snark here). But just like any junkie it is still a minute by minute struggle not to think about smoking. I have been smoking everyday since I was 14, more than half my life. I read that the relapse rate for smokers is 95%, same as heroin junkies. Since this is at least my 10th time trying to quit, I am hopeful that I actually get to be in the 5% this time. Hell, I am in the 20% of Americans who have a passport, the 10% who read a book weekly, the 9% who are either Agnostic or Atheist. Since I like being in the minority, I think I belong in the 5%.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

34.5 hours

without smoking and nobody is dead yet. But the foggy-headed, blurry-vison thing has set in. I feel like my witty reparte has been muzzled.

How long does the blurry vison thing last? It's like someone smudged my periferal vision. I've had some offers on substitutions for the oral fixation (fucking Freud, oral fixation my ass). But it isn't the act of smoking that I miss. There's really only been one moment where the habit of putting something in my mouth was the issue and it took about 2 seconds of rational thought to end that.

I wish nicotine patches came in mega doses, or I could keep the nicotine happiness without the death potential of smoking. If they have methadone for heroin junkies I don't understand why I can't just take a big ole nicotine pill.

Let the election fixing begin

The NY Times thinks the Dems aren't just gonna take the House back, but could get the Senate as well. So why is Bush Co all smiles and surety? Where's all the confidence coming from?

Maybe because it's undesirable voter disenfranchisement time. You know, that special time of year when Republican hacks try to dissuade left leaning voters by sending them letters saying they will be deported if they try to vote.

This ain't new folks. You know in the last election they told black voters that if they had credit issues or unpaid parking tickets they would be arrested if they tried to vote. They also put fliers up on cars in minority neighborhoods with the wrong election date on them, encouraging voters to show up a day after actual voting took place.

Nice, that's democracy in action for ya.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Oh how I hate the fundies!

A few weeks ago The Stranger ran an article on how you can fuck with Focus On The Family and James Dobson by ordering their books for free. And order I did. Saturday night, when it became apparent that none of us were watching the movie because we were to busy talking and drinking and chain-smoking on my last night of nicotine happiness, I pulled out the books and we all had a huge laugh, followed by several of the books getting chucked across the room so hard I thought the drywall might be damaged. But I think Satan was protecting my drywall cause it's all good today. (wow- no nicotine equals run on sentences, who knew)

Since I am in the nicotineless mood to kick some ass- I am going to give you some choice quotes from one of the books.

and the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity

"Are you a styrofoam cup, a ceramic mug or a princess teacup?" I don't know about you all, but I am pretty sure I'm a human being and not an empty vessel used to hold hot beverages.

"This chapter is for the brave and daring. It's about respecting the great weakness God has created in guys". Huh? Great weakness that God created only in guys- prostate cancer perhaps? Oh wait, they mean a sex drive. Did you know that only men have a sex drive? I guess there must be something wrong with all us randy girls, maybe we've been possessed by Satan? And did you know that a sex drive, which all animals have in order to reproduce, is only a weakness in human males. So God created something helpful in animals but it's a weakness in people.

"So you're dressed and ready to go. Where should you go? A princess should always stay within the confines of her own kingdom where she is safely guarded under the watchful eye of her public". American Taliban- at your service. The section on dressing is all about how if it makes you feel sexy then it's wrong wrong wrong. I am waiting for them to suggest burkas.

"Your father can fill that special guy-shaped hole" I shit you not. This is actually a bolded section heading. This is where the book got tossed. But not before we come to the chapter entitled...

"Not you again Satan!"

Next time I'll get into the book where they tell wives how to handle their brooding , complicated husbands by submission. Cause you know, men are complicated creatures that us silly, frivolous girls will never understand without a book and a preacher to guide us.

I am not going to kill something


No nicotine. Rahhhhhhh.

Once again my paycheck is late and the administration is being a giant douchebag. Arghgggg.

Fortunately our director's wife just moved to a job in the payroll office. She's finding stuff out and making it all better. That is the only reason I am not there pulling my best Godzilla impersonation.

I forgot to put on my stupid patch.

Just one drag, please. No, bad bad girl.

Stay tuned for more incoherent ramblings from a nicotine junkie in the throws of withdrawl.