Monday, June 27, 2011

Men are from blech, woman are from blah

I keep running into people who believe these things are fundamental truths that are really just stereotyped bullshit. It's a common enough occurrence that there should be a site for this shit like TV Tropes.

And I feel more than a little stupid having to write this post. It pains me. It annoys me. It makes me want to smash, feminist-hulk style.

1. Women are humans. Suprise, so are men. Treat accordingly. You do not need a guidebook, instruction manual or self-help advice column to understand a member of the opposite gender. Or to understand a person with a different sexuality than yours. Or a different race, creed, color, ability etc. etc. All you need is to shut up, open your ears and listen. And then believe them when they tell you who they are. That's it. Simple.

2. Not all women like to shop or buy pink things, but some women do. Not all gay men are into interior design, but some het men are. I like beer, the Boyfriend does not. Explain that, crappy beer advertisements. People, shockingly, have individual tastes and preferences and interests. Sometimes these things line up with behavior classified as stereotypes, sometimes they do not.

3. There is no behavior, not even giving birth or having periods (thanks to modern medicine and a slightly more accepting understanding of the gender non-binary)that is exclusive to one gender. Not a single one. Men are usually taller than women, except when they're not. Woman usually have larger breasts than men, except when they don't. There are men who just want to cuddle and never have sex and women who could have sex 3 times a day and still not be satisfied. (Actually, I know of more cases where the lady half of a het couple has the bigger libido than the dude half, than I do of the reverse).

4. "Ladies just want to rant about their problems while men want to problem-solve" bull-fucking-shit. I am a problem-solver by nature. I have to be, being a single mom of tiny means, but I am also pretty damn good at it. IRS has a lean on your house, gimme your paperwork and we will solve that problem. Creditors being douchenoodles, here's some things you can do to get them off your back. Lemme figure out what your insurance papers actually say about what's covered. Etc. etc. etc. I am also a good listener, or at least I hope that's why I have friends who still talk to me when they need to be heard. Judging by that oft repeated trope about ladies ranting and men fixing, I am half dude at least.

5. "Ladies want to get married and have babies, men just want free access to sex." Does not compute. Again, I've known way more men that wanted the ring and the ceremony than women. And more men that wanted the wailing infants than women.

What you should be getting from all this is that anytime someone trots out some variation of "men are blech, women are blah" you're talking to an asshat at worst, a clueless dingleberry at best. It is up to you whether you want to disabuse them of their terrible ideas or simply call them names and make fun of them. I know it gets old and tired, always having to educate people. And for the love of Pete I know how frustrating it is when the person sporting the asshat is someone you actually like and know to be smart enough to pick up on this shit without a 101 course. I advise copious amounts of Vitamin V(odka) for such situations.

So ends this rant. No, I do not need you to problem-solve that shit for me.

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