Thursday, November 22, 2007

Favorite pet story ever

I was telling my dear friend, Rosa Limon Sobrosa, about my little furry creature named Ruby dream and how Ruby was a rabbit but not a rabbit.

Turns out that Rosa had a rabbit named Ruby once long ago. Ruby was very sweet to Rosa, but not so much to Rosa's boyfriend. Did you know that bunnies can scream? Apparently they can and they are just as territorial as cats. If they don't like you, they will pee on your stuff. Also, bunnies can sometimes suffer from false pregnancies during which they will tear their own hair out to make a little bunny nest for their non-existent babies. Rudy did this once and Rosa came home to find that under the covers of her bed as a gory scene of ribbed out bunny hair. She thought her dog had made Ruby into lunch.

So Rosa loved her bunny and her boy. The bunny loved her Rosa but not the boy. The bunny peed on the boy's clothes whenever she got the chance. The boy, being a human and all, regularly had to poop. Whenever he pooped at Rosa's house, Ruby the bunny would follow him into the bathroom and then start to bunny scream at him while he was trying to take a crap. Ruby would yell and stomp her hind bunny legs while the poor boy was trying to drop the kids off at the pool. And when he was good and vulnerable, with briefs around his ankles and in mid-poop, Ruby would attack the boy. He often came away with Ruby inflicted scratches. Ruby's reign of torment finally ceased when the boy screamed for Rosa while on the can so he could prove just how much the bunny had it in for him. Rosa loved them both, but in the end only the boy was giving Rosa hot sex, so the bunny had to go.

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