Friday, September 29, 2006

I am the definition of Royal Bitch

I've been in bitch mode supreme for the last few days (ok maybe more than a few days but do you really want to split hairs with me right now?).

Anyways, I made 2 boys nearly cry when they were trying to be cute. Now I was just being bluntly honest, but usually I have some small amount of tact (for a certain semi-regular commenter here who I know very well and have lost all patience with that does not apply).

But to clear my name of overusing bitchiness- I give you transcripts of conversations one and two:

One: (From a boy who I went out with a few times but haven't talked to in months)

Him: Why don't we talk anymore

Me: Because you are flaky and unreliable

Him: Ouch

Me: Truth hurts. For future reference, dating means making plans and following through on them, endless text messages are just a waste of time.

Two: (From a boy I might have gone out with if he hadn't started with the passive aggressive never let a girl get to sure of herself crap)

Him: You're interesting and kinda pretty

Me: Kinda pretty? Kinda pretty? What kind of backhanded compliment is that? The only girl who would be cool with a compliment like that would have the self esteem of a Jerry Springer guest. No one wants to date someone who only thinks they're "kinda pretty".

Him: Actually I thought you were pretty cute but I didn't want to give you 2 compliments in a row.

WTF? The devil used to think (seriously) that the way to keep a girl was to pull the "don't let them think they could do better than you" shit, insult them more than you compliment them. It doesn't work on me, I have my giant ego to protect me. However, this kind of behavior, the backhanded compliment thing seems to be way more common than one would think. The devil was just the first person to point out to me that is was conscious and not unconscious behavior.

I also sent a nasty letter to the owner of my local grocery store after a clerk shorted me $40 bucks and the assistant manager was being a giant slack-ass. I wrote that I do not do business with companies that 1) have horrible customer service, and 2) steal from their customers. I also tallied up the amount of money I have spent at this particular store in the 3+ years I've lived in this neighborhood (over $14000, by the way) and told them that every one of those dollars would be going to their much swankier competitor 2 miles away. I not only got my $40 bucks back but I also got a gift card and several apologies from the owner.

So if you need a bitch to do some dirty work- I'm for hire. It could be a win-win-lose situation (I win, you win, object de bitchitude loses).

Besides, I work cheap. I work for free if I get to bitch out the torturer in chief and head monkey- President George W Dingleberry.


Anonymous said...

... I think some guys use the term "kinda pretty" in a completely innocent manner. As in, everything is kinda this or that. I'm not sure that anybody in my immediate sphere of influence would offended by a "kinda" compliment. That's just how we talk.

The Red Queen said...

I told my brother about it, actually I got just as far as saying "so this guy told me i was kinda pretty" and he interrupted me to say "that's a sucky compliment". So I don't think it was just me.

Maybe I've been spolied, boys I date usually think I am pretty damn hot and the B word (beautiful, not bitch) gets used early and often. So I would never date someone who didn't think I was amazing. I don't think anyone should date someone who doesn't think they are amazing- what's the point in that?

Or to put it in a way you boys might understand, what if a girl said to you "You kinda have a cock"? I doubt that you would think kinda is just a way to speak then.

Anonymous said...

... I think that maybe you are spoiled, and that you have a personal expectation about the kind of compliments you receive, which shouldn't have any bearing on what kind of compliments other people should be expected to send or receive.

The Red Queen said...

Pishaw Jovial- there are many new posts for you to comment on but you seem to be very bothered by this one.

I know my strengths, I also know my weaknesses. If someone were to call me flighty or easily distracted or a terrible speller who can't remember to proofread or arrogant, I wouldn't be pissed because those things are in fact true. But i think if someone is going to say something they should just say it- they shouldn't put a modifier on to either look cool or to manipulate the situation. I think that is the ultimate in passive agressive. And I am either courageous or arrogant enough to call people on cowardly passive agressive behavior. Somebody has to.

Anonymous said...

nah -- not so focused on this one. it's just that you keep responding. :)

I agree that folks are too passive aggressive, but I think you might be injecting some presuppositions which, as a guy, I feel are unfair.

Anyhow, yeah -- you've posted quite a bit of new stuff. You're a bit of feast/famine kind of writer, I've noticed. Either nothing, or a torrent. :)

The Red Queen said...

I write when I'm at work. I have to be at my desk and since doing actual work takes up very very little of my time, I get alot of writing done. Being on vacation in Mexico and then my forced vacation for the rest of the summer meant no dedicated writing time.

But I'm back to being as semi-prolific as ever. Thanks for hanging on during the break.