I'm doing a little dinner party tonight so between trying to hide the filth under cushions and making yucatan style picked onions, I haven't got much time to write.
But this post at Pandagon was just too good not to comment on.
I like boys who will argue legitimate (stress the legitimate part) points with me. I like them a lot actually. But this can present problems. I had one ex boyfriend (okay- cause I know you're going to wonder- the bastard Russian) who could have long intricate discussions about tons of shit.I loved it. We could talk books or music or politics or art or history without my having to play down my brain. But, when ever it became obvious that I had just made mincemeat out of his long held ideas he liked to throw out complicated math questions at me. See, I'm not a math major. I'm not bad at math, but I've never needed to learn much more than the basics and math is an integral part of his career. It made him feel better to make me feel stupid. When I figured out that was what he was doing, I stopped taking the bait.
But he also had the most annoying habit when in the middle of a passionate argument. Have you ever seen those old movies where when a woman becomes to emotional or hysterical, the strong rational guy gives the girl a smack across the face to bring her to her senses? Well he didn't smack me (cause I would have hit him right back) but he would grab me and kiss me to get me to shut up.
After spending a few weeks together on a trip (in small, confined hotel rooms) I called him on his behavior. I told him it was incredibly sexist to try and shut a girl up in the middle of an argument cause you think she is too passionate in her views. He stuttered, and stammered and finally asked what he should do instead. I told him he needed to grow a pair , suck it up, and deal with it. Expressing oneself passionately is not cause for alarm.
So I guess that my ideal feminist boyfriend isn't afraid of a passionate girl, and likes housecleaning as much as I like cooking.
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