Conversation just had between my little brother and me. This is proof that there is some genetic tweak where we love morbidly gross humor.
Me:Modesty is for people with nothing to brag about
Bro: Huh
Me: I'm trying to be Dorothy Parker so after I'm dead people will quote me
Bro: You want people to call you Dororthy parker after your dead
Me: No, you know, Dorothy Parker, writer from the 30's, famous for saying things like "If you don't have anything nice to say come sit next to me". I want to be quoted like that after I'm dead, and I'm starting with "Modesty is for people with nothing to brag about"
Bro: We'll put it on your tombstone
Me: That would be cool except that I'm getting cremated.
Bro: Then we'll make your ashes spell it out
Me: Oh I've got an idea- you could get my ashes compressed into a diamond and have those people who write names on rice write it on the diamond.
Bro: Sure, that's what we'll do
Me: You're totaly going to get me cremated at the local bar-b-que place and then dump me in a trash can, aren't you?
Bro: No, it would be cool if you were a diamond, I could wear you in a ring and say "Hey you want to meet my sister- here she is"
Me: This is my sister, Bling Bling
Bro: Yeah, first name Bling, last name Bling
Me: You could tell them we have different dads and that's why I'm a bling bling. But if I'm going to be a ring I need to be the most ghettofabulous giant creation ever.
Bro: Sure, we'll make it like 19 carats,
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