Macho Vs. Girly

There's an interesting discussion going on over at Echidne of the Snakes about defining masculinity and femininity. She suggests idea that femininity is the default setting and masculinity is something that needs to be aspired to, which is why people are always going on about the emasculation of men in society.

I have been called (in just the last year) uber-girly, super feminine and conversely I have been told I am a gay man in a straight girl's body or that I fuck like a man. I don't really know what to make of these remarks. I consider myself a girly-girl- and by that it means that I like pretty dresses and have a bathroom full of yummy smelling products. I have never thought that being girly automatically implied weakness. To the contrary, actually. Being a girl automatically means that you either develop a certain toughness and ability to protect yourself or you become a perpetual victim. I don't see anything weak or un-womanly about that. And I don't see how perpetual victimhood makes girls more girly. I don't think that by being capable I am sacrificing any of my girly-cred. But because I don't act weak- I am told that I am more masculine. Huh? I have also been told by boys who were put off by my toughness that I just needed to "see what a real man is like". Double huh? Like the insertion of a super-macho cock is going to suddenly make me unable to kill my own spiders or walk to the store by myself at night?

So peeps, boys and girls, what's your take on the whole macho/girly argument? Have you been accused of acting the wrong gender?