Wednesday, May 04, 2011

The Annual Obligatory Mother's Day Post

Damn do I hate this holiday. Here's why:

1. Mothers are treated like shit throughout the world (except maybe in Norway). We are paid less than other people, even other women. We are thought to be stupider, less able to perform paid work, etc. etc. We are more likely to be killed by our partners while pregnant than to die from pregnancy complications, at least in this country. Childcare is expensive and/or low quality. Child support collection sucks. We still do more unpaid work than fathers do. And to make up for the fact that without mothers there would literally be no future (no babies= the actual end to the human race)we get one stupid hallmark holiday where we get cheesy cards and brunch. I'd rather have the cash, thank you very much.

2. Mother's day started in the US because Julia Ward Howe was tired of watching sons die in the Civil War. Today we have, what like 4 wars going on where sons AND daughters are dying and have been for nearly a decade. But we're going to send flowers and cheap gifts and no one will mention the wars in relation to Mother's Day. Fuck that shit.

3. My own mother is an asshole. I have spent years, and will spend many more years trying to undo the damage she has done. Every child deserves at least one parent that loves them, but I would have settled for just one parent who wasn't intent on causing me actual harm. I could tell you all how a huge part of the abuse that I suffered is based in sexism and how it was a generational problem. The boys are loved and supported, the girls are treated abusively to "toughen them up". It was the early recognition of the unfairness in my family that made me a feminist. My mother is also the ultimate rape apologist and to this day, when she has lost an argument she will throw that in my face. She doesn't realize how that just cements her assholery. There is nothing to celebrate in that relationship.

4. I have an awesome kid and we have a really good relationship. I don't play the martyr "oh look how much I've given up for you" shit because I chose this life and I haven't got a single regret as far as having the Kid goes. And to be honest, if I hadn't experienced the overwhelming unconditional love that I have for my monkey boy, I would never have been strong enough to tell my own mother to fuck off. So he can skip the card. I know he loves me. No need to prove it.

So fuck mother's day. I don't need it. I will, however be throwing a brunch for my dear friends. Not because of mothers, but because I am a fabulous cook and I haven't had a food related party yet. We'll picnic on my living room floor (since I still don't have furniture) and watch it rain on the Space Needle while eating frittata and drinking mimosas.

No comments: