Friday, May 04, 2012


Adam Yauch is dead. And I feel fucking old today.

I like to tell people that when I was about 13 I found a Ramones tape in my driveway and gave up on the crappy tween pop (New Kid's on the Block, Debbie Gibson, you all remember that shit) that had been corroding my brain. And that's true.

But a year or so before I found that tape, I heard the Beastie Boys. Same year I got my first period. I heard other, slightly older kids singing Paul Revere and learned the words long before I ever heard the actual song. Then at my first dance, at a tiny middle school with a 6th grade class of fewer than 50 kids, a class so small that our entire dance could be held in a classroom instead of the gym, I head the actual music of the Beasties blaring out of an old school ghetto blaster. Then, of course, one of the teachers ran over to shut it off because "THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE!!!"

7 years later, I was in the mosh pit when the Beastie Boys played Lollapaloza while 4 months up the stick with the Kid. Responsible parenting, prolly not. But I was 19 and knocked up and all elbows and mama lion energy. And it was the Beasties. I couldn't not be in the middle of it. Despite being a giant festival show, it remains one of my favorite concert experience. After getting all the standing ovations ever and finally leaving the stage, Billy Corrigan came out and threw an absolute tantrum because "All you fuckers just want the Beastie Boys to come back out again". He was right (and fuck you Smashing Pumpkins!!! I've seen you more times than any other band and I HATE YOU!!!)

And now I am old enough that the idols of my youth are dying not (just) from a hard life of drug use and partying, but from cancer.  Fuck mortality. Fuck grey hairs and stiff joints and credit ratings and insurance deductibles.

This is from my favorite Beastie Boys album. I know the fucking music snobs are all "Paul's Boutique 4lyfe!" But whatever, this album has more pop culture references than every Joss Whedon product combined.  And the videos are amazing. So kick off your shoes and relax your socks.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

It's Election Time! Bring on the Hate!

So I got this lovely piece of shit in my email box:

Dear Bitch (or do you prefer "Cunt"?),I am writing with regard to your challenge below about something interesting to say.  I am just wondering how such a shallow witch like yourself could ever be receptive to anything truly interesting (in case you're not getting it this is my challenge to you).  Also wondering if you're young and dumb or experienced and bitter.  
The last bitch I confronted came up with the brilliant, "So fucking what?"
Don't worry I am not expecting much more from you,
This is from a Mr. (I assume mister because let's be honest, this kind of random hate doesn't usually come from ladies) Quimby Smith, or

Now after having done this blogging while female shtick for so many fucking years, I have zero patience for anonymous hate mail. I will, from now on, publish the names and email addresses of shitfaces. No getting to hide behind my common decency. You want to be an asshole, you're an asshole whose words are now attached to your (probably made up) name and address.

I am, or was a little surprised to get hater mail. I haven't written anything in months that could be thought of as even mildly controversial. Or even mildly interesting. (Thanks gainful employment!) Why the fuckity fuck now?

And then I remembered, it's election season. And the Obama campaign kicks off in the next week or so. Paid troll harassing the progressive non-believers? Unpaid troll just using election season to spread the misogyny? Does it matter? Nope.

Now I am not even a twee bit religious, but you reap what you sow. And the 2008 Obama campaign reaped a whole lot of lady-hating dudebros. And you know they are all just rabidly waiting to be uleashed.

But if rape threats and stalkers and shitheads didn't make me support Obama in the last election, why on earth would I support him now? Obama is exactly the politician I thought he was in 2008. He's a corporate shill, a warmongering shitface, and a power-hungry asshat of citizen killing proportions. And while I had thought of just sitting this election out because who wants to spend the energy arguing with fanatics that 2 percent less evil is still evil, I think that viscous and stupid shitfaces who email hate will be the thing that brings me back in.

Get the fucking popcorn. This is gonna be good.