Friday, June 22, 2007

Daddy is the breadwinner!

Happy Friday!


For the last few hours a group of guys has been out behind my fence demolishing the blackberry and morning glory bushes that have been waring with each other for space.

The constant buzz/whine of what sounds like a dozen chain saws is driving me completely batshit crazy. I'm pretty sure that those bushes were the only thing holding my fence up. When they are gone, will my little postage stamp yard be exposed to all the world cause my fence has taken a suicide dive onto the sidewalk below?

And now my eyes are all itchy because of all the pollinated crap that is getting released into the air.I am not a happy camper. Wah!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Life Lessons 7468 &7469

Lesson #7468: No matter that it's been 4 hours and three hand washings since you sliced hot peppers to make kick ass pico de gallo, you can still burn your eyes if you touch them with your hands. (This lesson applies to naughty bits as well, though I didn't actually rub those to find out for sure).

Lesson #7469: Cava, a sparkling wine from Spain, kicks champagne's ass with the fury of a stampeding bull. Mas cava por favor!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Teevee is teh evil!

There I was, innocently (ok, nothing I ever do is innocent) taking a nap on the couch about to start on a deliciously naughty dream involving hot naked boys when suddenly, the booming voice of Bill Cosby interrupts what promises to be naughty bad fun with a screaming rant about how all grandchildren are spies.

This is shocking enough to wake me up where I find that Bill Cosby is on the TV- screaming about how grandchildren are spies. Possibly that is the least sexy thing ever. Ok, maybe the idea of Dubya giving Turdblossom his nickname in the middle of a santorum filled bathroom is less sexy, but Bill Cosby is obviously a close second.

But the point is- TV is evil because it will ruin naughty bad dream time with hot, naked, imaginary boys. This should be considered a public service announcement.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Oh yeah!

Happy Happy News

Some of you may know that I have been in a raging battle with Seattle Housing Authority for the last year over how they calculate my income when determining rent amounts. Today, after repeated attempts just to get information on how my income is calculated, I finally had a hearing...

AND I WON! I did the fricken impossible- I won! Just little old me, without any legal assistance or even much preparation other than printing out my tax records that I didn't even need.

I have been asking for the numbers that they use to calculate my income because SHA's numbers are consistently between 25 and 30 percent higher than my actual income. I was never given a real answer, I was just told that the numbers come from the Unemployment office and to deal with it. When I asked for proof, it wasn't provided. When SHA sent me their determinations (which I have 10 days from the letter date to answer of I give up any right to question their determination) the letters either were never sent or when I did receive them the postmark was 5 days after the letter date, giving me no time to request a hearing. I have been lied to by SHA staff, I have been hung up on, I have had child support that I don't receive calculated into my income. When the hearing date was finally set, my douchebag of a case worker said "It doesn't matter- it's not going to change anything".


A little about the hearing:

It's informal and mine was more like a mediation than an actual hearing. SHA got to present their case first, and in addition to the facts that I have been begging for, like how my annual income is calculated, the douchebag case worker thought it was pertinent to throw in things about how she thought my paystubs were fake (I get paid via direct deposit, so my "paystubs" are computer printouts from the college.) that my rent was going up because I "choose to live in an overpriced apartment" (I've been in the same apartment for the last 4 years without a rent increase- SHA payments standards have gone down for this year in a budget saving measure, but that has nothing to do my choosing an overpriced apartment) and that I have been abusive with the letters that I have written.

In the end, it made her look like a petty, vindictive asshat. When I finally got to present my case, I explained that within the first 5 minutes of the hearing I had figured out how they miscalculated my income because I finally got the mathematical breakdown of how they figure my wages.

I work for a college, and I only work fall, winter, and spring quarters. During the summer my income is ZERO. But SHA, rather than looking at my entire annual income, was only taking income from one quarter and multiplying it by 4. Douchebag's manager jumped in to say that there is precedent for using all annual income instead of one quarter in the case of school employees and she agreed to recalculate my income based on an entire year.

This infuriated Douchebag- she felt the need to point out that I wouldn't get any special reviews of my income if they use the whole annual income to calculate my rent. I said "I would rather have my income calculated fairly than have to deal with another special review from you".

I was happy, Douchebag's manager was happy. Even the judge was happy. Walking out, the judge said "It's rare that everybody leaving one of these hearings is happy with the results" then he looked at Douchebag and said "well, almost everybody".

I've been doing the happy dance ever since! All I wanted was for my income to be correctly calculated. It sucks that it took a year to get it corrected, and there is no possibility of them reimbursing me for the amount that I was overcharged last year- but it's fixed now.