I get how hard it is to separate yourself from a political party you have been a member of for your entire life, cause I was a member of that same party since I was old enough to know that there were 2 choices.
But when that party no longer holds firm on any of the things that used to make up its core beliefs, when it betrays the people who have made up it's base and shits on things that should be sacred, it's time to give up the allegiance to the label, or change what your definition of Democrat is and embrace the neoliberal.
The right of a citizen not to be executed without a fair trial: unless you're a muslim.
The fundamental right of women to control their own bodies: While some may say "this doesn't fundamentally change anything" they are generally people without a uterus. And for me, being a woman, who has worked for the party SPECIFICALLY because it is the party of choice, this shows a move away from the moral highground. This is not "Safe, legal and rare". This is "your body is a political football and those of us in power have decided to punt you".
Being anti-torture: Here's the thing, if you refuse to prosecute government agents who commit torture, it ain't much different from just being pro-torture. If there is no enforcement of a law, then it isn't really illegal.
The environment, including no offshore drilling and "clean" coal: it doesn't matter that these projects won't be finished and doing actual harm to the environment until after Obama leaves office. It matters that dems started the projects and that dems sold out the environment. We expect that from rethuglikans, that is what they are. But dems are supposed to be the crunchy granola, protect the spotted owl, Al Gore in fleece and flannel explaining global warming, good guys. But offshore drilling and clean coal are bad bad bad, no matter how many ways you try to frame it.
Social Security is the untouchable third rail, or not: Every time some new right wing bloviator would whinge on about how out of control Social Security spending is for the last 15 years or so, I'd remember that every time I saw a left leaning economist talk about it, they'd laugh at the stupidity. Social Security all ready pays for itself. There mechanisms to keep it paying for itself. Anyone who talks about "runaway entitlement spending" is 1) usually a rethuglikan and 2) usually dead wrong. So what does it say that the person who is going to bring about the death of Social Security is not someone with a George W. privatization scheme, but a Democrat.
Spying on citizens is for rethuglikans, except when it's not:Do I even need to break this down for you all, or is it a matter of IOKIYAR has now become "It's not really a fundamental breach of your rights if it's done by a Democrat". The same can be applied to that fucking Stupak executive order.
How about the Dems are the party of regulating bad boy industries: You know, under Clinton tobacco companies were sued and states got fat wads of money to cover the health problems created by smoking plus insuring children. Under Obama and his merry band of banksters, we get .........it would create a system highly dependent on the wisdom and good intentions of government officials. And as the history of the last decade demonstrates, trusting in the quality of officials can be dangerous to the economy’s health.
Just to give you an idea of the quality of officials currently running the show, here's a little story about Timmy Geithner and AIG.
i haven't even gotten into things like health care (the bill passed was fine with rethuglikans like Mitt Romney and Bob Dole) and unemployment and foreclosures and tent cities and and and.
And I haven't gotten into things like a Democratic commander in chief should not be the head of an army that kills pregnant women and teenagers and then covers it up.
If you want to keep calling yourself a Democrat, that's fine. But please understand that I am now going to believe that your fundamental belief system is one that is anti-woman, anti-environment, pro-torture, pro-wiretapping, kill social security, love s big corrupt industries and approves of murder.
You can either be loyal to a party or you can have your ideals. But you can't have both, not anymore.
RQ's shared items
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Allegiance to a label is not a substitute for actual integrity
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Dear Green Party:
Lemme do some advertising for you. Really.
Blue Lyon has a post up called Where to go from here? that is all about the great big sucking hole of depression that has set in for those of us realizing that there is no hope coming from traditional methods of change.
I'm familiar with that feeling. I get gloomy sometimes. But just for a little bit. Then it's time to pick yourself up and jump back into the fight.
This is what I wrote to Blue Lyon
I am so familiar with that deep crushing sense of despair.
We keep doing what we are doing. We keep holding feet to the fire. We keep on keeping on.
What gives me a wee bit of hope (and I may just be kidding myself, but a girl’s gotta dream) is this: the parties we have now have not always existed, and they have not always been what they are (or claim to be). Republicans started out as radical anti-slavery progressives. Dems were the conservative party.
I think the republicans will eat themselves, because really they don’t have a purpose anymore. The democrats have taken over as the party of corporate interests and screw the little people.
So there is room for a new second party, and that room isn’t being made on the right, but on the left. I still like the Greens. There is nothing in their platform that I disagree with so far. I like their candidates (except for Nader, but that might be residual democratic sour grapes) . I like that they are already established and have a (fledgling) infrastructure. If I am going to put my work into politics, I will put it there.
Otherwise, I’m building a commune in Iceland (or Spain- pro women, pro gays, pro human rights, my favorite wines and nice weather).
Sorry for the long ramble. I’m wordy lately
Neither of the 2 main parties are serving the left in any way, manner, shape or form. I think the numbers of lefties who are disillusioned with the whole process is growing, quietly but fast. I think it's a fan-fucking-tastic time for another party to step in.
Hello Greens!
So if I had some $ and some power and the Green Party was listening to me, I would start running commercials. I would focus on the things that Greens and Dems should (or used to) have in common. Talk about single payer health care, talk about finance reform and regulation, talk about opposition to off shore drilling and the environment, a women's right to control her own body. Run a series of images. A child getting a checkup, a bankster going to jail, a gorgeous shoreline nature shot, a middle aged mom standing behind her 20 something daughter.
Then it ends with:
There is only one party that shares your beliefs and won't compromise them
See what else you have in common with the Green Party by checking out gp.org
That's it. That's all you need to start with. You just have to remind disappointed lefties that there is another option, and by putting the commercials on you give the party more legitimacy (if they have the $ to run the commericals then they aren't just a bunch of crusty hippies in someone's basement).
PS- Blue Lyon, you have a Green candidate running for governor of your state. I bet he wouldn't mind if you threw all that volunteering muscle you used to use for the Democratic party into his campaign.
Happy Birthday Ouyang Dan!
Since you, so graciously gave me a bloody period cake for my birthday, it's only fair that I return the favor. 
Why yes darling, that is a wedding cake made out of tampons.
You have done some amazing shit this year and I am proud as punch to have you as my friend.
Big lip smacking smooches and many many sparkles.
PS- I tried really hard to make sure this posted at exactly midnight oon your actual birthday where you are- did it work?)
(cake is by Vadis Turner at the Elizabeth A. Sackler Center for Feminist Art)
Monday, April 05, 2010
A Quick and Dirty Primer: The Inevitable Downward Spiral Of Capitalism (now with stick figure illustrations!)
I wrote once long ago about how the Civil War was not really fought for the noble ideal of ending slavery, but because slavery was anathema to capitalism because it does not give the elites the same measure of pressure to control costs such as labor.
In the last week or so there have been lots of outcries about the rise of unpaid internships. It's not surprising that when allowed to, businesses will stoop to not actually paying people for their work. These are the same members of society that brought us child labor, sweatshops, and the romantic lifestyle of the migrant farm workers, after all. The only difference is that unpaid interns tend to come from white, educated, middle class backgrounds. OMG we can't exploit the young white people! That's criminal.
But it was always going to come to this.
First, let's start with some basics. Economists (some, most even) and Libertarians will tell you that the job market is a market just like any other and there should be no restrictions on it because restrictions interfere with competition and the invisible hand. Employees and employers are considered equal in their negotiations.
If you don't like your job, you can find another job.
But anyone who has ever worked knows that's not how it really works.
Despite whatever its mission statement might say, all businesses have one, single, solitary function. To make profit.
First you have to sell something. You have to make something that people want to buy, you have to price it at a price people will pay, and your costs for making a thing have to be less than the price people will buy it at. You will probably have investors, or even stockholders who have put up their own money for your business in exchange for getting a piece of the profit.
Now this might all be fine if there wasn't massive constant pressure to increase profit. The shareholders want a bigger return on their investment, the CEO wants a bigger bonus payout. That screaming man on that money show will insult your company if it's not growing profit margins enough
So things must be done. Companies are always looking for ways to maximize sales and minimize costs
And negotiations between employee and employer end up looking more like this
And since companies compete with each other, not just for customers but for stockholders, all companies eventually end up in the evil labor eating blob phase, unless there is another force at work to keep all companies from becoming sweatshops.
But unions only work if companies can't do seedy shit to stop them. For that we need yet another external force
Government can do things like set minimum wages, create 40 hour weeks, mandate overtime pay and work safety standards. But they don't do any of this unless they have pressure put on them, by say a large group of organized individuals who have people who can lobby for them. Like a union. Government can also set rules for the establishment of unions and make it so that companies can't go around breaking the legs of striking workers.
But........
So with neither the government nor unions working to keep companies from doing everything they can to screw the workers to maximize profit, unpaid interns are inevitable. You can't go lower than zero on labor costs. Well yes you could. If companies start thinking that they would like to take a chunk out of the expensive college ed market by telling prospective students "You don't need to go to that fancy school for 4 years, come do an apprenticeship here. We'll only charge you half the tuition the university will, plus we'll throw in valuable on-the-job experience. Can your uni offer you that?"
(Shit, should not have typed that. Somewhere there is a CEO coming up with fee-based apprenticeships right now)
Some fun for a Monday
My darling friend Spring and I are trying to come up with drag queen themed food.
(There's a wee back story, I've been trying to encourage Other Cousin to use the gorgeous church she owns for drag queen bingo. Spring thinks that Drag Queen Bingo should come with drag queen themed foods. )
Here's what we've got so far:
Spring: Liza Minnelli-Vanelli Shake and anything with sausage
Me: Any female performers name+meatballs, The Dolly Parton Bangers and Mash:two giant mounds of fluffy mashed potatoes seperated by a long pork sausage
(Also said in facebook by me:I am totes seeing a business idea! Quick- gimmme drag queen themed food names. It will be like hooters, but all the boobs will be fake, or wait. That's not right.)
So, gimme your best thoughts, and your worst
Things that are made of lose
So you all know my other secret passion is interior design and architecture? Maybe not. It is a wee bit (more than a wee bit) like lottery shopping, or things I would buy if I had money. And I'm a wee bit ashamed of it because, you know, it's all part of the spectacle. Then I justify it to myself by saying "it's not like I have a house. If I had a house, then I might not spend so much time imagining a house". So yeah, I give myself a pass on the lottery shopping bit because of poverty. Sue me, I ain't perfect.
That was all a long into to explain why I was looking for window coverings that aren't ugly. I was wondering if they made films for windows like they make wall decals, in some fab modernist design.
I have absolutely no idea if they do, because as soon as I saw this the guffaw went off in my head and I was bowled over by the stupidity.
(You know how I said people are rational actors, I still mean that, right up until the time the bong smoke pickles their melon or the 3rd vodka tonic goes to work. That's kind of the point of most mind altering substances, to make you stop being rational).
So imagine this. You are a pot head, a wake and baker, the kind of person who doesn't get out of bed without taking a toke. But right by your bed is a giant window looking out onto the street and you really don't want to get busted by some random cop who happens to see you taking your first morning puff. But you're also a minimalist. You hate curtains, or you're like me and you hate mini blinds, plantation blinds or pretty much any mechanism which is going to leave bar shaped objects over your natural light source thus rendering your home into a glorified chicken coop. So you go searching for another solution.
I give you cannabis leaf window film. 
So now instead of the off chance that random Officer Bob catches you taking a long bong toke through the window, you have the guarantee that every cop in the neighborhood plus anyone else who cares knows not only that you are a massive stoner, but you have killed so many of your short term memory cells that you forgot that advertising your pot smoking is probably more likely to get you busted than just getting over your fear of curtains.
And if you're more a drug of the masses type, they've also got you covered. As long as your drug is Jesus flavored. Or your initial is a T. 
A Quick and Dirty Primer on Economics and Rational Actors
One of the fundamental principles of economics is this: People are rational actors.
What that means is that we all are always using what information we have to act in our own best interests. And that's true. Rush Limbagh shouts the douchebaggery from the rooftops because he is paid enormous amounts of money to do so. People put off going to the dentist because it costs enormous amounts to do so. People work at crappy jobs they hate because otherwise they would live in the park. We choose food and shelter over medicine because we may be able to skip a few days of our drugs, but skipping a few days of food costs more right now.
Here's where it gets progressive: ALL people, regardless of race or income or social status, ALL people are rational actors. Poor teenage girls getting pregnant and becoming mothers, not actually an irrational choice if you have their information and life experience. Their own mothers are likely to die younger and are more likely to offer support to a young pregnant daughter than an older one. Also motherhood is a reasonable excuse to skip out on the more dangerous actions available to youths. It's not uncommon for a teenage mom to say that becoming a mother "saved her". Because of poverty, their prospects for college and high paying jobs are diminished, it doesn't make much difference if you're looking at a life of $8 an hour retail jobs if you have a child now or later career-wise, but now you have a mom who is both sympathetic and alive. 10 years from now you might not. That's pretty rational.
LBGT- rational actors. Considering all the pressure, including threats and acts of violence, family ostracism, social ostracism, etc. if they could be another way, many probably would. And many try, if they didn't then there wouldn't be programs to pray the gay away. So coming out (or not coming out) is a rational act. Coming out means that the costs of a life in the closet are higher than the costs of a life lived openly. Reverse that for staying in the closet.
Even drug addiction can be looked at as a rational choice (I know, I know). To the person with the addiction, whatever internal pain has driven them to drug use is a more pressing matter than the fact that they are ruining their lives and destroying their bodies.
Teabaggers fighting on the wrong side of the healthcare debate- not actually an irrational decision (I know, I know). They are middle class white men for the most part. They are seeing their little sliver of advantage (the cough synonym for privilege in economics) stripped away through anti-sexist and anti-racist measures. They are seeing competition increase for resources they used to fully enjoy, and they have never developed the skills to compete fairly. They are not wrong that they are going to be losing something in this fight, but the information they don't have (and that neither major party is willing to give them) is that they will make gains too. Take the five biggest issues in the life of a married, middle class parent: 1) healthcare, 2) retirement money 3) paying for the kids' educations 4) job security 5) housing. All of these things have viable, universal solutions with progressives, but these men's experience is someone always has to come out on bottom, and after centuries of unearned privilege, they are terrified that they are going to be the ones to take the fall. In essence, they are afraid we are going to do to them what they have done to us. Not an irrational belief.
I use this principle of people as rational actors to judge information I receive (ha! that's meta). This is why I get down on the virtuous foodies and the meddling middling middles so much. Both of these groups (and there is massive overlap between them) believes or acts as if only certain types of people are rational. People like them, who only eat organic and did everything "right" by going to college and waiting to have children until they were financially established and married and getting all the preventative medical and dental care available to them. They cannot get out of their own privilege bubble long enough to see that poor people are acting rationally, based on what is available to them. And that is utter fucking bullshit.
I also use this principle to do a little extra work and figure out why someone might act in the polar opposite way that I would (see teabagger description). It also means that I give people credit for figuring out their own lives, and I don't make excuses for the bad behavior of those who govern us. If they are misusing their power (anti-abortion executive order, thankyouverymuch) it is because it is in their own best interest. And since their job is to act in OUR best interest, it is a purely rational act for us to not let them keep their jobs when they fail at it.
There's one more reason to believe in the all people are rational actors principle. If you think otherwise, if you think people are irrational or even that some people are irrational, then you can't believe in democracy. The only solution in an irrational society is some form of totalitarianism, a single person or group or class or even trade group (health insurance parasites)having all the power over the the irrational hordes. And you need to hope that person's (or group's) self interest benefits yours. Otherwise you are just another dissenter, another irrational miscreant, who can't see the hope and change and promise of the the big man in charge.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
The Real Sunday Shame is.....
Renee at Womanist Musings has a regular feature where every Sunday she calls out some horribly embarrassing behavior.
But today she went too far. She's picking on bacon. Bacon. Sacre bleu! It's criminal. It's wrong in thousand ways. It's bacon for the love of all that is good in the world. It's kinda turning into a round of the dozens over there between the Canadians and their sorry-excuse-for-bacon-but-is-really-ham thing and us USians and our real, delicious bacon.
And she thinks I should be seriously shamed because I am proud of the fact that my home town invented bacon salt. Nope. Of all the things I've ever eaten, bacon does not give me one moment of shame. neither do reliably bacon flavored products, like bacon salt, or better yet steak frites with bacon blue cheese dressing.
It's pretty outrageous. I may have said something about Canada being the land of bad food (dude- cheese curds (cottage cheese) with gravy, nuff said).
But you long time readers know what my real shame food is, doncha. 
I freely cop to being embarrassed by my love of vienna sausages. But that embarrassment didn't stop the Easter Bunny (aka- Uncle Jim) from bringing me a six pack of them today. Of course I'll have to hide them in my room and eat them where no one can see me. But..............
(oddly, vienna sausages also feature prominently in the Worst.Meal.I've.Ever.Eaten and one of my funniest travel stories)
Saturday, April 03, 2010
Pay The Writer
(Just a friendly reminder- the subscription button is up and to the left)
This video brought to you via the awesome peeps at But I Did Everything Right
Friday, April 02, 2010
A Quick and Dirty Primer on the Economics of Kyriarchy
First- are you all enjoying the quick and dirty primers? I'm not getting a ton of comments on them but I do like writing them.
Feedback peeps, Mama needs feedback.
This is how a socialist system MIGHT look. Notice that there are still elites, but they are at the top now based on political and not economic power
That little turquoise triangle is the entire reason for groups such as the teabaggers and why middle class white men fight so hard to keep their privilege. That's all just a small triangle of resources that is going to disappear anyways. We are very quickly heading towards a society that looks like this 
Art Blogging: The Awesome that is Joana Vasconcelos
Now lemme tell you a little something about art history and women. If you make something that is both pretty and usable and you are a girl, it's called decorative arts and the "real" artists of the world will look down on you as a hobbyist. Do you make quilts? Or paint china? Or crochet or make lace? You are not a "real" artiste. This is why Chicago's Dinner Party is so successful at subverting the women aren't real artists meme, it's not only a pretty representations of famous women's vulvas, it's dinner plates, a decorative art. 
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Hey are you an eco geek?
I want to find something to do with all the old lithium ion batteries we have laying around from numerous dead cell phones, cameras, etc.
I would love to find a way to turn them into solar charge holding power cells. We have mucho sun. We have ginormous electric bills. We are way too poor to afford solar panels. (For the amount of energy a 9 person family uses, we'd need about 100k for solar panels.)
Wonder thought that stripping the solar cells out of calculators and solar lights might be a way to go about it.
Suggestions? Wanna donate batteries or solar powered things? Hit me up in comments.
A Quick and Dirty Primer on Copyright
I threw a link up in reader from Corrente, but I wanted to link to the original post so that I can give you the rundown on copyright. Go read the original, then come back.
First things first:
There is no such thing as original thought.
What, you're saying. That's a load of whooey. Of course there is original thought. How would we have scientific breakthroughs or beautiful art if it weren't for original thinkers?
No person comes from nowhere. We are not found fully grown with all our thoughts and ideas developed after a childhood spent under a rock. We are social creatures. We are learning creatures. We require information from other humans from the second we enter the world, and before that we require more than just information. No one thinks in a bubble, safe from the influences of the world. Actually, feral children are less able to think and communicate ideas, that is how important other people are to our existence as humans.
We build on the ideas and solutions of others. We may take an idea a step further than it's been taken in the past, or discard it entirely, but that is always because information has come from somewhere outside ourselves and we have managed to piece together a new way of seeing things.
Lemme give you an example, Einstein would never have been able to come up with E=MC2 if it hadn't been for Emilie du Chatelet, Volatire's girlfriend and the person who proved how to measure work 200 years before Einstein started having thought experiments. Einstein is thought of, by the general population, as one of the most original thinkers in history, but he couldn't be that if it weren't for the thinking of other people before him.
So no thought comes from nowhere. Ever.
That said, we still want credit for our ideas. But credit is different than ownership.
When I was in college I had a poly sci proff who was really good at lecturing on the basics, idealism, realism blah blah blah. But he didn't really have a solid grasp of some other philosophies, namely progressive ideas. So when I heard him using my exact wording, my exact framing, my exact phrasing while giving a lecture on structuralism, I knew he got his knowledge from one of my papers.
There were several suggestions given to me by other people:
1) Complain to his boss
2) Ask him for a TA job if he was going to use me to teach anyways
Neither of these sat well with me. I was comfortable with him, and didn't have a problem taking credit. But the ideas in my paper weren't mine to begin with, they were just explanations, definitions of something that already existed. He wasn't making a profit off my ideas and he obviously learned something about a theory he didn't know much about.
In the end I got him to write me a damn fine letter of recommendation instead. It includes the phrase "most promising student I have ever had the honor to teach". That worked for me. I just wanted credit for giving him a view he hadn't had before.
Now think about those comedians. They are using the same kind of informal system to get credit for their work.
Copyright law negates that. It removes the ability to further an idea because it becomes to costly to work with ownership of the original idea. So instead of giving non-monetary credit to past idea holders by 1) acknowledging it and 2) using their past work to build on, you have to come up with a completely different idea (based not on anything original, but on things that aren't copyright protected).
Here's an example of how not having copyrights actually expands business and creativity- fashion! (Weeeeeeeeee)
You can't copyright a piece of clothing. If you could, there would be only one maker of jackets in this country. Or purses. Or shoes. All jeans would be Levis.
Since you can't copyright it, fashion can fill damn near every niche, from price to style (though they are still scared of making clothes for the fatties- I blame that on the severe malnutrition they must be suffering from). You can buy a $5 tshirt, or a $100 tshirt. You can get jeans for $18 at Walmart, or special raw denim designer jeans for $200.
But there is a stigma to straight up copying another designer. You ain't gonna get your knock off bags featured in Vogue. It's a trade off. Do you want to try for elite status and very likely fail. Lots of designers do. Or do you want to make something more likely to sell but at a much reduced price? Lots of designers do that too.
Fashion is the giant industry that it is not because everyone wears clothes, but because there are few restraints on the creative side of the process. You want cheaper drugs, greener products, better music on the radio- remove the constraints on the creative side (i/e copyright) but keep or improve restraints on the safety and or labor side (no sweatshops, fair wages, must not kill people using it or working with it).
Free marketeers will be crying when reading that passage. But but but.... You can see their bottom lips go into the pouty thing. It's funny that people who want absolutely no safety or labor restraints want to restrain people from improving on ideas. They want to compete for the worst possible positions, but get nauseous thinking that someone might outthink them.
Copyright stifles progress. It limits expansion. It keeps us stuck. There are ways of crediting past ideas without stifling future ones, and they have nothing to do with the current law. But those ways would severely undermine those who already have power. Remember, with very few exceptions (coughMetalicacough) it is the record companies and not the musicians who throw fits over file sharing. That ought to tell you something about who copyright laws actually benefit.
Oh shiny! New subscription service
Do you love snark? Do you love the bitchy, occasionally bitter rantings I post here? Do you miss me when I'm gone? Do you feel more culturally astute when you've read some art blogging? Or at least that misery loves company when I just get down on the whole political process?
Have you added phrases like virtuous foodies or meddling middling middles to your repertoire? Used an RQ Cooks recipe to make cheap and tasty food?
Then you might think of hitting that shiny subscribe button up there, to the left. Before I even contemplate buying groceries or keeping the lights on, I have to pay for the internet, phone and storage. The internet and phone are what make this site possible. To date i have exactly one very generous reader who every single month throws $20 in the donation bin. And that is the total amount of reliable income I have in the world, 20 bucks a month.
So if you can find it in your pockets, under your couch, wherever, every subscription makes a huge difference in whether or not my stomach is going to eat itself in stress this month and whether or not this site will continue to exist.
Many smooches to the generous donor, and to all the past generous donors out there. You save my ass. Seriously.
RQ Cooks! Awesome Fried Rice
My fried rice recipe has been evolving since high school. I finally have it perfect, though it is not at all traditional. But it is better than the Poverty fried rice recipe.
Trade Mark alert! When I have shared this recipe in the past I have noted that you must call this "Lizzie's Awesome Fried Rice" when you make it. Just because you are in bloglandia does not mean that my spidey senses won't know if you forget the "Lizzie's Awesome Fried Rice" tittle. I will know. And the kitchen gods will smite you for your hubris!
You need
A half pound thick cut pepper bacon (If you buy a full pound, you can make it twice)
3 or 4 carrots, diced
3 or 4 celery stalks, sliced
2 medium onion, chopped
6 to 10 Brussel sprouts, chopped into shreds or a half a small cabbage
a dash of veggie oil
cooked rice (I make this for 10 people at a time, so I make 5 cups of rice in the rice cooker or about 10 cups cooked)
a little bit of better than bullion chicken flavor (I don't know if this actually does anything, but I've been doing it every time and everyone loves this recipe so much I am loath to change it)
red pepper flakes
soy sauce
First- start your rice, use the better than bullion in the rice water
While rice is cooking, in the biggest skillet or wok you have, cook the bacon SLOWLY over medium to medium low heat. You want to render out as much fat as you can. That is why slowly.
While bacon is cooking, chop veggies. Put carrots, celery and onions together, keep sprouts or cabbage separate.
When bacon is done, remove from pan and add a dash of veggie oil.Turn heat up to high and toss in the carrot/celery onion mix.
Add a dash of red pepper flakes and some soy sauce.
Cook until the liquid is nearly gone and the onions start to brown a little
Add sprouts and another dash of soy sauce (this is a soy sauce delivery vehicle)
Cook until sprouts are browned
Chop bacon and add to pan
Add rice to pan and stir stir stir. Your arms will ache, keep stirring. Add some more soy sauce so that the rice gets a lovely carmel color and picks up all the bits of bacon fat and crumbles from the bottom of the pan.
Serve.
Watch your friends and loved ones ohhhhh and ahhhhhh over magically delicious dinner.
