Sunday, March 13, 2011

Holy Shit

today i am the mother of a 16 year old. The kid is now old enough to
get a driver's license (though our lack of a car means I can't teach
him to drive, but he could get one). It's surreal, being near this
person who was once so small he hugged my knees and is now so tall he
towers over me and treats me like his little pet mommy. I am so proud
and tickled at the person he's grown up to be. He is kind and
thoughtful and funny and smart. He is a giant goofball, ready to act
silly whenever the mood strikes. And because of him, and how much i
love him, i've been given the gift of self-love. Protecting him makes
me stronger, but it also made me realize that I deserved protection
too. knowing how much i love him, and how i would gladly throw myself
in front of a bus for him, i can see clearly how that is not at all
true of my own parents. it's a big gift, i don't know that i can ever
repay it. but i am going to keep trying. So happy birthday, my
beautiful monkey boy. you're the best present i ever got.

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