Monday, August 25, 2008

The creamy Zen filling At the Center of The twinkie Storm

So details details.

I told you all that shit around here was about to get much worse, and so they are. About 2 weeks ago I got an eviction notice, one of the respond either with money or a legal reason why you aren't paying your rent by a certain date kind.

So after thankfully minimal begging, my brother wrote a check to cover all my back rent, late fees, plus September's rent.I took a deep breath and thought I was in the clear for a wee bit, at least on the rent. Two days ago I got a notice of eviction posted on my door that says I have till midnight of the 26th to get out or the police will be helping me move. Numerous calls to the owner have gone unanswered and I was a dumb ass and didn't get a return receipt when I dropped the check off at the post office.

I have no idea idea where we are going and the Kid comes home on the same day we have to be out. I don't have the money to rent a truck or to put my stuff in storage. I don't know where we are going to sleep.

But I grew up in house where packing in the middle of the night and running away was pretty common. I went to 17 different schools. We moved probably 3 times a year. I've been in my current home for 5 years. That's the longest I've ever lived anywhere.

Moving that many times has made me a phenom at packing and chucking. I'm sitting around my house making the mental list of the must keeps, keep if you can, and the just fucking leave its. It's easier than I thought it would be. These walls have been closing in around me and I am almost feeling peaceful at the moment. Like zen even. Perhaps all this sadness and fear comes from trying to hold too tight to certain ideals. I wanted my kid to stay in the same schools and not always be the new kid. But his school is crap and I am seriously considering home(less) schooling him. Our neighborhood has become a scary place. We're not going to be tied to it anymore.

I have absolutely no idea what we are going to do, but I do know what I have to do right now. Perhaps it's adrenaline. Maybe my overtaxed fight or flight response is finally kicking in with flight instead of fight. I'm so tired of fighting. Kid and I have done this before. We spent almost 2 years couch surfing and living in our car. That is probably my biggest regret right now. I wish I could just pack up my old red corolla and drive off into the sunset for a bit. But I gave up the car when we became stable and moved in here. Oh god I love road trips. I always feel a million times lighter when I can get behind the wheel and push to see how far away I can get before I have to sleep.

So kids, I'll be packing. But not a lot. I think it's time to travel light.

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