And the winner is.......................

no one. Not you, not me, not America, not the scary terrorist menace ( note the snarkitude), not Hillary. not even Obama or McCain.

We are a screwed people, a screwed country, and a screwed planet.

For all the wailing and gnashing of teeth over this election, the truth is that no one person is going to save us from ourselves. We have to fix it. And waiting for a savior politician ain't gonna help. So if McCain wins or Obama wins in November- it doesn't matter. We are screwed. And it is not in either of their best interests to help us. Unless we make it in their interest.

So what hasn't really worked as far as getting the government that is supposed to be by the people, for the people to work? Those small everyday things that most of us do are gonna save us. Recycling is good but I've been sorting garbage since childhood and the planet is still heating up. Organized protests haven't worked this time around. This isn't the 60s and you mom's methods are outdated.

Perhaps, since we live in a consumerist society, we should use that to our advantage. I don't mean boycotts. Those are fine and all, but I think that boycotts are a bit like the protest non-voters. The voice not heard because it's not saying anything.

Instead, I think that since our government is acting a bit like the cable company, charging us too much money for a shit load of services we don't need and then only doling out the really good stuff to people who can afford it, that we should use the method of complaint with our government that we do with unresponsive corporations.

I think we need to create a Consumerist type way of annoying civil servants, politicians, and political worker bees like campaign managers until they hear us loud and clear. We are mad as hell and we aren't going to take it anymore.

It's not that far off from the petition signing requests we see all the time. But think of this as petition signing with a vengeance. The point is no longer to passionately persuade. We are soooooooooo long past the point where reason, logic, compassion or ethics will make our government work for us. The point is to annoy, bother, pester, and make them change their behavior just to get us to shut up. I'm talking Donna Brazile and her crazy blackberry messages type of annoyance. I'm talking flooded inboxes, voicemails, and sorry to say it to my fellow admins in the world, but cranky secretary levels of annoyance.

So if the election has got you feeling lukewarm (or even despondent)- I've got a plan and some concrete things to do to make you feel better.

First we gather contact info. We need not just emails and phone numbers for politicians (easy enough) but for people like the civil servants at HHS who are trying to make birth control equal abortion or make opting out of providing services like abortion referrals legal. I want to know their secretaries phone numbers and email addys. I want to know the email and phone numbers of people who work under them and over them. If it's a stupid and harmful bill that is about to pass, we don't just lobby our senators or congresspeople. We take it to the corporate suits who are pushing for it. We take it to their underlings and overlings.

We will be our own lobbying group. But you know, not evil. Just really fucking annoying. Like Obamabot stalkers, except we will be exercising our constitutional right to petition the government instead of harassing women and bullying civilians.

What do you think? Can you be the squeakiest wheel?