Thursday, August 21, 2008
You know, I wouldn't want to be Howard Deam or Nancy Pelosi or Donna Brazile right about now. I mean seriously, I can just see them wringing their hands and sighing while looking at the latest polls. I can just see Howard Dean letting out a Dean scream and following it with :
*dials on his phone*
Dean: "Goddamn Barack, what in the HELL are you thinking? I went through all that trouble to hide your faults, falsify results and steal delegates for you and now this?"
( This being the fact that McCain leads him by 5% or so in the Zogby/Reuters polls.)
Obama: "Howard, how very lovely to hear from you. What? I have no idea what you're talking about"
Dean: "The polls, idiot, the polls!!!!!!!!!! *Dean scream* McCain is ahead of you!!! What are you doing?"
Obama: "Howard, I'm sure I don't understand. What ARE you saying?"
Dean: "*Dean scream* have you seen the Zogby poll for today?"
Obama: "The what poll? No, I didn't see it, but Axelrod tells me I am 15% ahead as usual. The poll hasn't moved for months"
Dean: " *long sigh* Barack, do you have a computer near you?"
Obama: "Yes, what do you think I'm using to look at my pics, a photo album?"
Dean:" *wipes sweat off brow*, *deep breath*,*swallows 3 painkillers* Barack, do you have internet access on your computer?"
Obama: "I'm not sure, what do I need Internet for? I have all my pictures saved on my computer!... *checks for connection* *mutters under his breath "why is he bothering me? he should call one of the volunteers at the campaign if he needs someone to go on the Internet for him" *mutter mutter*"
Obama: " Howard? I think I have Internet. have you seen how beautiful my website is?"
Dean:" "sighs again, resigned* Barack, go to www.zogby.com"
Obama: " what is that, a fansite? For me? Oh Howie, you didn't have to! *smiles happily*"
Dean: "*picks himself offthe floor, takes deep breath, calms himself down* Barack, did you go to www.Zogby.com?"
Obama: "yes...*scratches head*... Howard, what is this? It says McCain is ahead of me in polls!!!! How can this be??????????? *drops phone, runs screaming across the room*.
Axelrod: " * comes in, takes phone" Howard? what is wrong with you? You made him cry and now he's gonna have puffy eyes tomorrow! Are you mad??????"
Dean: " He's behind McCain 5 points * resigned voice, hand on heart*"
Axelrod: "Nonsense! He's been ahead by 15% for months! *stares at computer screen, jaw dropping*
Axelrod:"*yelling* Who is the idiot who forgot to pay Zogby this month!!!!!!!!! Are you insane!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want the person responsible to be flogged!!!!!! "
Volunteer in next room: "Oh shit, I guess they found out".