Name calling for grown ups.

I said in comments on the Americablog big girl brouhaha that had Aravosis simply apologized and moved on this wouldn't be an issue.

Today in the land where grown-ups live everyone's favorite spinster aunt, Twisty Faster, has shown us how to get over using insults that insult people other than the intended. How does she do it? By using the bible of English and the Mecca of all things wordy- the OED.

Fucktard happens to be one of my favorite words to say. It pops with the t on the second syllable like nothing else. But I have put it out of my vocabulary for the last few months because it does sound like retard. My alternative, fuckwad, does not have the plosive effect. Fuckard, Twisty's alternative, also lacks that pop.

So kids- I need an insult that starts with Fuck, pops on the second syllable, and doesn't insult anyone other than the intended.

Possibilities:
Fucktool
Fucktart (though that may be too much like calling someone a whore- but I think it sounds like poptart)
Fucktroll