Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The mystery of the economics pie

The pie metaphor is a favorite with economists. "The pie is only so big" they say.

They mean there is only so much of a resource. We can't give away something that doesn't exist.

But that metaphor fails to answer some super key questions.

1) Who made the damn pie? Certainly it wasn't economists or bankers or rich folks or professors or politicians out there breaking their backs to harvest the wheat that made the crust or the fruit that makes the filing. They've never gotten their hands dirty making the actual fucking pie, now have they? Sure, they've pushed around papers. But that is the pie eating equivalent of tucking their napkin into their shirt, not making the pie.

2) Humans are remarkably good at making the pie bigger when they need to. In darwinian speak this is called adaptation. When we run out of one kind of pie, we make another kind. Oh look, it's winter and there are no fricken berries for a pie, I guess I'll make pumpkin instead. Adaptation is why we have things like clothing and houses and the internet and language after all. But we can't make pies that feed everyone? We deserve extinction if we really are that stupid.

3) Why does the pie get divided unevenly to begin with? Who fucking cuts a pie like that? It is easier and way more efficient to cut the pie into equal sized pieces than it is to cut out a tiny slice for the poor folks and hand the rest of the pie over to the rich.

4) What if you hate pie? I hate pie. I am on team cake. You know the thing about cake- you can make way bigger than you can pies. At least I think so.

This ridiculous little exercise has been meant to show you that 1) economists are mostly self righteous asswipes who don't understand the value of cake, 2) question everything, just because a bunch of douchenozzles has been saying the same thing for 300 years doesn't make them right, 3) the longer I am away from the internet the less respect I have for the learned class.

Next time you might get a super bitchy screed on how the "creative class" is made up of a bunch of fauxgressive fucksticks who wouldn't know how to creatively problem solve their way out of a paper bag.

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