You create your own reality

is what one of my students said today.

That's not true for most of us. The student happens to have hit the privilege lotto, he's an able bodied white male. He can create his own reality. He doesn't have to see racism, sexism, homophobia, abelism, and since he's still young, ageism, or classism.

But for a large portion of us, we don't get that option. Regardless of whether I am a feminist or fundy Christian housewife, if I forget that my reality is that I am a woman, I can be hurt. Killed even. I don't get to make sexism not part of my reality. When I try- something will happen to throw my femaleness back in my face as if I am less than, other, outside. I'll be chased and threatened when I don't respond to cat calls. I'll be stalked and harassed when I try to have my own political opinion.

That is my reality. I put myself in peril to imagine otherwise.

But I do imagine it can get better. That's why i fight. Thats why I will turn and confront the cat callers. That's why I don't shut up even when stalkers get close.
That's why I end up in repetitive arguments with people to get them to someday come around to the idea that sexism is bad. And in tiny amounts, it works.

I can't create my own reality, but someday maybe I won't have to imagine a world where a walk to work or the grocery store isn't fraught with peril.