But what about the families! The nuclear families!

Over on the Shakesville MRA thread that will never die is a lot of whining about how us evil feminists are DESTROYING THE FAMILY!

Wev. My family, for as many generations as I can count back, doesn't do too much of the nuclear family thing (with the exception of my Auntie Cate and Uncle Jim- but they are both pretty progressive egalitarian types). Maybe we're just big fat failures at the nuclear family thing, or maybe the Cherokee in us makes us more of a matrilineal family.

What I had always heard from my mom was that us Cherokee women got the house and the property. When you were done with a man, you sat his stuff on the steps and sent him back to his mama. I don't know how much of that is true, but it sure does seem like that's how we things (minus the whole owning property thing- we've been poor for a couple of generations).

Most of my family is still in North Carolina, which is a pretty big accomplishment considering the Trail of Tears marched so many people out to Oklahoma. From what I can tell through genealogy stuff, the Cherokee men just kinda disappeared off the family tree while the Cherokee women married Europeans. (Rumor is that the men went and lived in caves, but again these are just the stories I've heard). I can't fault them for using whatever survival methods they needed, but I do wonder if that is what pushed us throughly into poverty. Going from property owners and family leaders to property of husbands and baby machines is bound to have a cost, especially in a capitalist society where inheritance is the main force of social mobility.

So all this whining about the destruction of the "traditional" family leaves me a little bored. We went through the destruction of our type of traditional family over a century ago. I have no interest in a traditional marriage, though every now and then enough societal pressure builds up and I loose my head over a guy for a while, but I always come back to earth realizing how incredibly stupid a combination of me and marriage would be. It's like mixing ammonia and bleach.

The only benefit I can see in traditional marriage is financial. But I don't think that the price I would have to pay in loss of autonomy makes up for the financial gain (and I don't generally date poor or dumb unless they are really hot, so the financial gain would be considerable).

I guess what I'm trying to say is- who cares if the traditional family structure doesn't work? Other structures may work better.