Thursday, May 04, 2006

Why do you deserve a pat on the head?

There has been a little running conflict about boys and how much credit we girls should give them going on in the blogosphere. I know that every time I post something girly I can hear crickets chirping and I am torn over what to do about it.

I could play benevolent educator- which is what I do in real life with a lot of you and what I do here quite frequently. But, and I'll be really honest, it is pretty fucking exhausting to constantly try to re-educate you all.

I could just write off all boys as never being able to understand the fucked up power structure that pushes on us like a groper in a subway car. But I like to think you are capable of understanding more than that.

And then there are the boys who want a great big pat on the head for doing what they are supposed to be doing- and this one makes me want to scream. Since when do we give people pats on the head for doing what they are supposed to be doing to begin with.

I'll give ya a couple of examples, and since it's May we're gonna center on parenting crap (happy Mother's day and all that)

Unamed Boy #1: "My wife got a new job and I have had to babysit my daughter every morning this week"

Uhm- that's not fucking babysitting- you're her parent for christsake- babysitters get paid. You are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Mother's never say "I am babysitting my own child", why do fathers act like it's such a big deal when they have to look after their own children? This was said to me, by the way, to get my sympathy and some kudos for the guy for "putting aside his very important work" so he could do this thing so his wife could work. If I remember correctly- he wanted his wife to work. They needed the money.

Unamed Boy #2 is a single dad raising his daughter by himself. Group of single mothers (and this just proves that the idiocy infects both sexes) is fawning over him for "taking responsibility". I sat back until it was my turn to speak at which I point I said something about "how nice it must be for him to get all this praise for doing the exact same thing that every woman in the room does everyday without getting any praise at all." In fact, single mothers usually get more harshly judged. We can't possibly perform as well as families where there is a man.

So the point to all this blathering is why do boys think they deserve a great big pat on the head for doing what they are supposed to be doing? I don't get a great big pat on the head everytime I wash a dish or pick my child up from school or do the grocery shopping. It is assumed, whether I am working or not, that these are my responsibilities.

I am sure the crickets will be chirping in force on this one. But at least y'all will be thinking about it.

Addendum:I am going to give one big fat pat on the head to Phuxy. He goes to school and takes care of the kiddos while his hot wife, Science Girl goes to work. I have never heard him call it babysitting nor has he ever acted like he was doing something above and beyond the call of duty. For that- Phuxy gets a head pat (and a belly rub if he's really nice).

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