Saturday, May 12, 2012

The obligatory Mother's Day Post, number blabbety zillion

If you've been around this here blog for more than a year, then consider this your annual reminder that I HATE MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

If you're new, lemme tell you why.

Mother's day is the day of the year when we get plied with booze, brunch, and presents that scream "my children are assholes* and instead of getting what I need I get bubble bath and an eye mask. DO I LOOK STRESSED? Why the fuckity fuck did you get me the 99cent 'relaxation sounds' cd from the gas station? I don't even own a cd player!!!!!!"

I'd rather skip the day entirely and get, oh I dunno, pay that equals what men (both with kids and without) and women without children make. Or maybe I'd just like to be treated like I am competent at my job as I actually am, instead of being assumed to be shitty because my uterus once grew an alien baby. Or maybe child support that actually covers have the cost of raising a child and is collected in a timely fashion instead of 70 percent of cases having arrears on them. Or maybe affordable daycare, though I am long past the point of needing it, but I am generous and remember how hard it was to pay both rent and daycare. Or maybe enough paid days off per year so that I didn't feel like I was constantly on the verge of burnout/failure.Or maybe affordable college tuition so I know the Kid can get an education. Or maybe an improved job market so I won't have to support him till he's 30. Or maybe a guarantee that the only thing between my ladybits and my doctor is a speculum and not a fucking gaggle of anti-choice, woman-hating fucknuggets. Or maybe universal healthcare plus dental since my healthcare costs for this year alone are close to 25% of my income.

Or maybe what I really want is the lip service about the hard jobs that mothers do cut the fuck out in recognition of the actual jobs mothers do.

Raising a kid to an adult benefits society way more than it benefits me. Yep, I love the Kid more than I love sex and cigarettes and cinnamon whiskey(and fuck me I love all those things hard ) but he's gonna grow up to work and pay taxes and contribute more to society than all the fuzzy Halmark moments could possibly add up to. And that's if he's just your average TAB, white, cis, het male. (Not that kids who are not those things aren't equal contributors. But except for poverty, Kid won the privilege lottery).

So once again, what I really want for Mother's Day is for mothers to be given the tools to do the job we have agreed to take on for society's sake. Society needs kids to grow up and do the work of supporting the generation before and after. So society should make sure that those of us who are mothers now have the tools to support the generation before and after.

Keep the fucking cards and drugstore bath products. (But hand over the booze). I don't give a flying fuck about the platitudes.

*Kid is soooo not an asshole, obvs. He's helpful and grateful and sweet. I don't need him to put on a show one day of the year to make up for being an asshole the rest of the year. Though I did see this thing on the interwebs about how to make a stuffed squirrel from a lonely winter glove. I did request a Kid make me a squirrel. Will it happen? Prolly not. But it was cute. We're spending Mother's Day, or the day before Mother's Day, resuming our picnic tradition. The grown-ups will be smuggling cocktails in water bottles. Tasty foods will be eaten. And apparently this year there will be croquet. We call it Drunknic. And this will be the first year since I went to awful Florida that we've been able to do it. And Kid made cookies.

No comments: