Me: (struggling to open a prescription bottle) Why the fuckity fuck do they give people with muscle problems bottles that are impossible to open?
Kid: Because it's child-proofed, duh. And I can open that if you want.
Me: (glowering) You know the ability to open bottles goes away on your 18th birthday, right?
Kid: (does actual face-palm) FACE!!!! PALM!!!! If there was a wall it would be FACE WALL!!!!!
Me: Oh what can I do to make that happen? I wanna see it!!!
And now I am sad because in less than a year I will no longer be able to use and abuse the Inappropriate Conversations With Children tittle.
In not unrelated news, I am officially gimpy enough to qualify for the cheap bus pass. If I drove, this would be the equivalent of getting to park in the handicap spot. I don't know how I feel about that. It's weird. It makes it official and permanent in a way that just having a diagnosis did not. Now as to actually obtaining the bus pass, disabled people actually have to go into the Metro offices downtown to get it. That's just a boatload of gatekeeping shittery right there. Luckily, my work is right around the corner, but it will mean having a very very long day of both work and line standing in the Metro office. If I lived or worked more than a single bus away, trying to get into the damn office might be hard enough to just say fuck it and pay for the full price fare. I keep having that problem with Kid actually. He doesn't have his own bus pass, so he either borrows mine or we have to make sure we have the change/cash for him. Often we don't have any cash because I don't like paying cash machine fees and always forget to get cash back at the store. Kid and I have to go into a different Metro office to get him a youth fare card. He would get the cheaper fare if I did it, but because it is so full of hassle and I have been in mountains of pain since my old meds stopped working, I just pay adult price for him.
Gatekeeping! If you have the time, energy, and ability you can get the benefits. If you don't, fuck you!