Friday, October 21, 2011

Help Or Hurt

Oh Charles, you bring up the most amazing shit

ETA: MAybe this link will work? Since the one above is not.

When the Kid was too small for grand complicated explanations, I used to ask him "Kiddo, is this gonna help or is this going to hurt?" Does it help if chores go unfinished or hurt? Does it help when you leave a trail of filthy socks all over the living room for me to pick up, or does it hurt? You get the idea.

So since the whole dust up over Hot Chicks of OWS, you gotta ask "Does this guy help or hurt the Occupy movement?" And the straight up truth is that he hurts it. He hurts it my making women feel less safe and therefore less equal. He hurts it by making women leery of throwing their energy into something that is only as radically changed as "nice tits, make me a sammich". And it hurts OWS because it invites the dudebros in, more of those same shitfaces who will shout you down and mansplain and accidentally* grab your ass.

And while us ladies get it, for the most part, that this is hurtful, we need you guys to get it too. We need you calling this shit out because the hurtful ones are the same fuckers who will get in our face and ask if it's that time of the them month when we call them out. But they might listen to you. And even if they didn't listen, we'd hear, finally, that some of you all are on the side of help.

That makes a mountain of difference. So when you're sitting there, either occupying a park or occupying this grand park of the interwebs, ask yourself if what you're doing is helping or hurting. Are you helping by being silent in the face of douchebaggery? Are you helping when trying to play Devil's advocate to explain how the douchetocracy works? Are you helping make the world a better, safer, more equal world for everyone, including us 51% of the population? Or are you doing harm?

As usual, standard disclaimer that silence and or commiseration with people who are racist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, etc etc etc is also hurtful instead of helpful.

No comments: