For I don't know what reason

old(er) men like to chat with me. I don't know why, but they do.

So today I'm sitting outside at work enjoying a smokey lung treat (back off you anti-smoking crusaders, nicotine is the only reason I haven't turned into a violent outlaw- yet) when random dude walking down the street stops to talk to me. He's probably in his late 50s, white, bearded former hippy looking dude.

Random dude: That's my favorite thing, sitting in the sunshine and having a smoke. But I'm all out.

Me: (because while I may or may not believe in god- I do know that cigarette karma is real!!!!!!!!!!!)Here, have one of mine.

Rd: I'm divorcing my 3rd wife

Me: That sounds like 3 wives too many

Rd: Nooooooooo. I love them all. A warrior never stops loving a woman. I still love all the girls I loved in high school.

Me: I just think some people are the marrying kind and some people aren't. I am not.

Rd: I don't care what you think, or what you know, I just care what you believe. What do you believe is the color of truth in a warrior society?

Me: What does a warrior society mean?

Rd: You can't answer my question with a question! A warrior society is a good society, not like this one. This is a predator society. Answer the question. What is the color of truth!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is turning into the kind of argument that you have with wingnuts and religious fanatics and libertarians, basically anyone who holds that there is only one good answer to everything and it's theirs. It's a disingenuous style of debate and people that use it are almost always douchebags (and wrong).

First, answering his question with ANYTHING other than a question would mean that I subscribe to his view that there is such a thing as a warrior society and that it is a preferable thing to what we have now. Since I don't know what a warrior society is in his mind (and in my mind I'm pretty sure it's paternalistic and old fashioned) I needed him to provide information before I could even think about answering.

Second, I was being polite, friendly and not argumentative. I asked him what he meant while maintaining the demeanor of a well trained shrink. But just asking him to clarify his views pissed him off enough to start yelling. (Ahhhhh the patriarchy does NOT LIKE TO BE QUESTIONED!)

So from this little exchange I'm going to give you all some tips for dealing with disingenuous debaters (works very well on the forced pregnancy shitstains).

1. Stay calm. It's hard, cause dammit sometimes you just want to punch them in the face with a sack full of their own stupidity.

2. Biggest fallacy ever when you're debating someone is that you are going to change their mind. That is not your goal. Sometimes (rarely) it happens, but the real goal is to sway the minds of the listeners. If you're arguing and no one is there to watch, use it for practice. But if you argue with someone only to sway them, you've already lost the fight. You'll take it personally when they don't change their mind and that will make you less focused on finding the flaws in their logic and more focused on trying to find a way to frame your argument so that they can see your point of view. Forget it.

3. Answer questions with questions. Make them clarify exactly what they believe. You will either get them mad enough to storm off by doing this, or they will turn themselves around in their mis-logic until they're confused. For example, a guy once said to me "there is no speaking for the white men anymore!" I countered with "Well the president is a white dude (this was pre-Obama) the supreme court is almost entirely white dudes, congress is mostly white dudes, so are most of the CEOs in this country. Which one of them isn't speaking for you?"

4. Don't let them set the parameters. This is where framing comes in and it is most important. For example, any phrase that sets the moral high ground in their territory like "we can both agree that abortions are bad". Counter with "Why are abortions bad?" the response will be something about killing bayyyyyyyyybies! You can come back with "But abortions save the lives of women, especially 3rd trimester abortions. Are you saying that abortions are bad because they save women's lives?" Or when weirdos on the street ask you about "the color of truth in a warrior society". It's total rubbish and his question has no logical answer, but by answering it I would have to acknowledge things that aren't true.

After I refused to buy into Random dude's worldview of a warrior society without him clarifying exactly what that means, he stormed off saying that I must be a "very sad person". Which means I win. While I am a lover of the personal insults to the package size of your average troll, when someone flounces off because they can't be logical then the game is over. And anyone who saw that just saw a big whiny ass baby go crying home to mama.