I go away for a few weeks and...

Isreal is bombing the fuck out of Lebannon, Castro is on his death bed and Mel Gibson is proved to be an anti- semetic asswipe.

Yet none of these things are even slightly surprising.

Instead I will give you the Top Ten Funny Things That I Know About Mexico

1. In Merida- you can totaly outrun the police in a slow speed chase if you want to avoid the "gringo tax".
2. Agua Caliente (or hot water) advertised by hotels is usually a myth.
3. Bisteak (steak) is not always beef. But I learned that one eating kangaroo in Italy. I think I ate horse tacos in Escarcega.
4. Howler monkeys should be called growler monkeys- they sound like wild boars about to attack.
5. Manzana Lift (apple flavored soda) is the best thing ever. I am starting a campaign to get it sold here.
6. "Ecological Preserve" and "Pristine Jungle" are code words for mosquito farm and malaria breeding grounds.
7. When towns have big signs up warning you about dengue fever and cholera- you should sleep somewhere else.
8. Looking a little like a local (dark hair and very tanned) made a Mexican guy in Villahermosa "Whatever" me when he found out I was not Mexican. (What the fuck- no one whatever's me- ever)
9. Bugs the size of dessert plates can totally crack a pair of sunglasses when they dive bomb you.
10. Being a slightly drunk gringa will always get you filmed for the giant monitors at baseball games.

I have many stories (and pictures of turtles gone wild) to share with you later, including a fictional tale of revolutionary Zapatista love staring my new imaginary boyfriend, Subcommandante Marcos, as told through post cards.

Buenos Dias!