"We're looking for a python"
"Would a python eat a gun?"
"They're not fond of cold food."
"Would it eat a warm gun?"
"They don't like metal."
"What about a warm gun covered in meat sauce?"
"Yeah, they'd go for that."
I'm watching the show Life, and that little exchange just cracked my shit up.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
How to teach boys
Aunt B over at Tiny Cat Pants has an awesome post about Masculinism 101 and how men need to be the ones to change rape culture. (I've said it before- women have been trying to prevent rape for eons, if we haven't come up with the perfect way of walking, acting, dressing or never leaving the house yet- then there is no way for women to prevent rape).
In comments the question was asked:
When Kid was very small, I started teaching him about consent. When we would roughhouse or tickle fight, one "no" was all it took for me to stop. And I taught him that one "no" was the line I drew at him stopping. Period. End of game. We both got to say when it was too much and those boundaries were absolute.
I taught him this not just because it would help him pay attention later in life when things with girls start happening, but also as a way for him to judge the behavior of another grown up and to give him a kind of toolbox for dealing with Catholic priests or Boy Scout troupe leaders. If he was secure in the knowledge of his own bodily autonomy, then he would be better able to judge when someone was trying to take it from him.
Now that the Kid is of an age where girls are very soon to be The Most Important Thing In The Universe! I can take those experiences and show how they relate to sex. Consent must be an absolute "Hell yes" and anything short of that is a "no". "Maybe" is a no, saying nothing is a no, "I don't know" is a no, "Not now" is a no- and not an excuse to ask again five minutes later. I am teaching my son that the only good way to enjoy pleasure is when both people are ready and happily excited about it.
I did hear one super rad idea at TCP though. If you want to make sure the girl is willing and able to have sex, ask her to put the condom on for you. I am definitely adding that to the lesson plans. And that is how you teach boys not to be rapists.
In comments the question was asked:
Well, as the feminist mother of a son, lemme tell ya.It gets fairly difficult for to differentiate when you start talking about date rape. Or a sex act that occurs when both are drunk. That’s harder to define, no? Is it rape because the law says a party can’t consent when drunk? What if the party really meant to consent? What if the party consented when drunk but felt guilty [about being drunk, about the sex] the next morning? What if the party wouldn’t have consented when sober but got up the nerve, so to speak, when drunk?
THOSE are the kinds of situation that scare the fool out of me as the mother of a son. What do I tell HIM to ensure he is safe?
When Kid was very small, I started teaching him about consent. When we would roughhouse or tickle fight, one "no" was all it took for me to stop. And I taught him that one "no" was the line I drew at him stopping. Period. End of game. We both got to say when it was too much and those boundaries were absolute.
I taught him this not just because it would help him pay attention later in life when things with girls start happening, but also as a way for him to judge the behavior of another grown up and to give him a kind of toolbox for dealing with Catholic priests or Boy Scout troupe leaders. If he was secure in the knowledge of his own bodily autonomy, then he would be better able to judge when someone was trying to take it from him.
Now that the Kid is of an age where girls are very soon to be The Most Important Thing In The Universe! I can take those experiences and show how they relate to sex. Consent must be an absolute "Hell yes" and anything short of that is a "no". "Maybe" is a no, saying nothing is a no, "I don't know" is a no, "Not now" is a no- and not an excuse to ask again five minutes later. I am teaching my son that the only good way to enjoy pleasure is when both people are ready and happily excited about it.
I did hear one super rad idea at TCP though. If you want to make sure the girl is willing and able to have sex, ask her to put the condom on for you. I am definitely adding that to the lesson plans. And that is how you teach boys not to be rapists.
Overheard in Seattle
"My step mom had literally like killed 12 people, but she hasn't killed me yet"
Outside Westlake Center
I was saving that for a post about how interesting catching random bits of conversations can be, but I have yet to hear anything that comes remotely close to being that interesting. I have to wonder if the guy meant "literally", cause if he did his stepmom may be one of the most prolific female serial killers in history.
Then again, maybe he and his stepmom are engaged in some epic WoW battle.
Outside Westlake Center
I was saving that for a post about how interesting catching random bits of conversations can be, but I have yet to hear anything that comes remotely close to being that interesting. I have to wonder if the guy meant "literally", cause if he did his stepmom may be one of the most prolific female serial killers in history.
Then again, maybe he and his stepmom are engaged in some epic WoW battle.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Say it with me!
Gender is a construct. Repeat: Gender is a construct.
What does that mean. exactly?
Gender, as opposed to sex, is an idea created by society. Sex is biological. The only inherent difference between men and women is the ability to produce children. Period. Everything else that you think of as male or female is an idea created by society.
Women are not naturally more nurturing, men are not naturally more aggressive. Women were not just gatherers, men were not just hunters. Not all men feel the need to sow wild oats, not all women fall in love with every guy they sleep with. These are ideas created by society to keep the basic power structures intact, regardless of whether those power structures are fair or even the most efficient way of running a society.
From the moment we know the sex of a child, we start putting gender roles on them. Tiny babies who wouldn't know blue from pink get dressed to match their sex. Guess the wrong sex of a non-distinct baby in a gender neutral color like green and the mother will issue a sharp correction pdq. The sex of a baby shouldn't even matter, since it will be a good long time before that baby is having any sex of it's own.
Everything that we think of as feminine or masculine is created, and if it's created rather than inherent- it's changeable. Men can love babies and fashion, women can love football and fast cars . Liking things that don't "belong" to your gender doesn't make you a Tom boy or a Girly man, it just makes you a human with varied tastes and experiences.
What does that mean. exactly?
Gender, as opposed to sex, is an idea created by society. Sex is biological. The only inherent difference between men and women is the ability to produce children. Period. Everything else that you think of as male or female is an idea created by society.
Women are not naturally more nurturing, men are not naturally more aggressive. Women were not just gatherers, men were not just hunters. Not all men feel the need to sow wild oats, not all women fall in love with every guy they sleep with. These are ideas created by society to keep the basic power structures intact, regardless of whether those power structures are fair or even the most efficient way of running a society.
From the moment we know the sex of a child, we start putting gender roles on them. Tiny babies who wouldn't know blue from pink get dressed to match their sex. Guess the wrong sex of a non-distinct baby in a gender neutral color like green and the mother will issue a sharp correction pdq. The sex of a baby shouldn't even matter, since it will be a good long time before that baby is having any sex of it's own.
Everything that we think of as feminine or masculine is created, and if it's created rather than inherent- it's changeable. Men can love babies and fashion, women can love football and fast cars . Liking things that don't "belong" to your gender doesn't make you a Tom boy or a Girly man, it just makes you a human with varied tastes and experiences.
Blaspheme!
Maybe it's all the drugs I've been taking (or trying not to take- and they're all Rx, btw). Maybe it's just that I have been living inside my own head way too much lately. Maybe I'm just a hairsbreadth from the edge of reason, but I've been thinking about god lately.
First, I was thinking how boring it would be to know everything that was going to happen before it happened. Imagine watching Adam and Eve in the garden all happy all the time, never doing anything but eating and sleeping and fucking. They have no struggle because their world is perfect, so they never have to do anything creative. Get fruit, eat fruit end of story. I don't know about you, but if I were god, I would be bored to sobs after watching my creations do the same damn thing day after day after day.
So if I were god, I'd create free will. Sure, giving creatures free will means giving up some of my all knowing, all powerful god authority. But it would certainly be more interesting than watching "get fruit, eat fruit" all the time. I don't know if I would have started the free will program with a forbidden tree of knowledge, but it does give the "1st" people (as I am in no way, manner, shape or form a believer in the biblical story of creation- this is all a thought experiment, so go with me) their first real choice- knowledge or perfection.
I think it would be one of the best soap operas ever, to create this world and then sit back and watch what happens. Sure, maybe every now and then you get bored with the story line and throw a flood into the mix just to see what comes from it. But if your goal as god is entertainment, then minimal interference would be the best way to go.
After that, I was thinking about the creating of beings to begin with. Sure, it might be fun to create your first bunny rabbit or oak tree or person, but after bunny rabbit number 1000- it would get dull. So I would pawn off the actual reproduction on the creatures themselves. And fore those creatures smart enough to figure out that reproduction leads to babies (and a whole lot of work) I'd give them orgasms so that there is incentive to have sex and make sure that they didn't get pregnant every time they have sex.
So that is what I've been doing. I've been playing god in my head.
First, I was thinking how boring it would be to know everything that was going to happen before it happened. Imagine watching Adam and Eve in the garden all happy all the time, never doing anything but eating and sleeping and fucking. They have no struggle because their world is perfect, so they never have to do anything creative. Get fruit, eat fruit end of story. I don't know about you, but if I were god, I would be bored to sobs after watching my creations do the same damn thing day after day after day.
So if I were god, I'd create free will. Sure, giving creatures free will means giving up some of my all knowing, all powerful god authority. But it would certainly be more interesting than watching "get fruit, eat fruit" all the time. I don't know if I would have started the free will program with a forbidden tree of knowledge, but it does give the "1st" people (as I am in no way, manner, shape or form a believer in the biblical story of creation- this is all a thought experiment, so go with me) their first real choice- knowledge or perfection.
I think it would be one of the best soap operas ever, to create this world and then sit back and watch what happens. Sure, maybe every now and then you get bored with the story line and throw a flood into the mix just to see what comes from it. But if your goal as god is entertainment, then minimal interference would be the best way to go.
After that, I was thinking about the creating of beings to begin with. Sure, it might be fun to create your first bunny rabbit or oak tree or person, but after bunny rabbit number 1000- it would get dull. So I would pawn off the actual reproduction on the creatures themselves. And fore those creatures smart enough to figure out that reproduction leads to babies (and a whole lot of work) I'd give them orgasms so that there is incentive to have sex and make sure that they didn't get pregnant every time they have sex.
So that is what I've been doing. I've been playing god in my head.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Monday Link-O-Rama
The household is in a bit of a crisis at the mo, and while I deal with some big stressful crap I am not so good with the blog thinky crap. Instead you get Monday Link-O-Rama!
Echidne has a couple of great posts about the upcoming recession and the tiny house movement.
Pandagon has a great piece on structural racism and the war on drugs
Sir Robin always has the funniest random Flickr blogging.
The Kid and I are obsessed with winning free rice
I like layer tennis. I wish there was a match every day
Echidne has a couple of great posts about the upcoming recession and the tiny house movement.
Pandagon has a great piece on structural racism and the war on drugs
Sir Robin always has the funniest random Flickr blogging.
The Kid and I are obsessed with winning free rice
I like layer tennis. I wish there was a match every day
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